Make like a tree, and get the fuck out
this post was submitted on 12 Jan 2025
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People in glass houses sink ships
Whatever bursts your boat.
Make like a banana and leave.
😂 best one so far
Check out Boondock Saints, from which this is a quote. Hilarious movies
Does the pope shit in the woods?
Are bears Catholic?
And which one would you rather meet in the middle of a forest?
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A bird in the hand is worth its weight in gold.
Icarus flew too close to the man in the moon.
Find a penny, pick it up. Would you like some making fuck?
BERSERKER!
Outstanding, friend. Got a laugh out of me.
Daffy Duck one said, "You buttered your bread, now sleep in it." And 10 year old me couldn't stop laughing.
This makes me so happy, thanks for teaching me a word
i'n not the brightest bulb in the shed, but i sure am the sharpest!
I had a boss who said:
"You can lead a horse to water, but you can't suck his ass to make him drink."
I... I just... Can't.
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I used to say "we'll burn that bridge when we get to it." all the time! People didn't like it though.
Those that live in glass houses can throw the first stone.
Don't throw glasses in a stone house.
Malaphors? I call these Rickyisms.
It's all water under the fridge.
Exactly. Making these things up ain't rocket appliances.
And there’s so many out there already you can use the existing ones and teach others; get two birds stoned at once
Rickyisms are modern day malapropisms, named for Mrs Malaprop from the 1775 play The Rivals by Sheridan, rather than malaphors.
The difference being a malaphor is a mixed up idiom like the examples in the post and a malapropism is substituting a word in a common saying or idiom for a similar sounding one. For example, "finding an escape goat" or "I resemble that remark".
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Worse case Ontario I get to tell you I toad a so, I fuckin a toad a so.
Those who dig others a grave shouldn't throw rocks.
It’s like finding a needle in a camel’s back
Which is to say: a whole hell of a lot easier than a camel going through the eye of a needle, to quote JC.
I've made my omelette, now I've got to sleep in it. If you lead a horse to water, you can make it fish.
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You're barking up the wrong metaphor
You can get a good look at a t-bone by sticking your head up a butchers ass, but I'd rather take the bulls word for it.
one of my favourites is "the sharpest bulb in the box"
You can lead a whore to water, but you can't make her douche.
She looks like she's been through the run of the mill
You made my day, now you have to sleep in it
You can't have your cake.
From the TV show Angel.
Harmony, vampire ex-cheerleader
"You're preaching to the horse's mouth!"
For those of you speaking German: Hast du enen Scherzkeks gefrühstückt?
i like to say "das leben ist kein ponyschlecken" and "das leben ist kein zuckerhof".
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You can't crack an omelet without making eggs.