And worst of all
- TV static, where it's everything and nothing all at once
this post was submitted on 25 Dec 2024
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mii plaza music intensifies (bass boosted)
Cabaret Voltaire's "Automotivation" for me.
- Listening to the same song on repeat so you can focus.
Accurately describes my thoughts at really any given time. Smoking weed at least mutes the volume on it.
hey this is my default emotion
explain anger spiral
Imagine someone says something rude you want to reply to but don’t/can’t. This is annoying but normally you just move on. Sure maybe you’ll think about it a little while later or maybe while in the shower later that day or maybe it will come back you randomly while laying in bed sometime in the future. Still normal (I think…) and pretty manageable.
However, with the right (or wrong) kind of neurodivergence, some days it isn’t possible to let go. Even the slightest annoyance will invade your focus the entire rest of the day. You can’t do anything because you’re just pissed about that thing, or pissed that you’re still thinking about that dumb thing for no reason and can’t get it out of your head. You get mad at being mad. Anger spiral ensues.
Rage wells within you as your frustration rises because you’re trying to focus on other things and this annoyance isn’t worth your time, but you can’t stop because you’re not in control. It’s like a song stuck in your head but even harder to get rid of.
If you’re like me, self destructive fantasies play in your mind to relieve the feeling. This does work but it takes time. Once the anger spiral is gone you feel dumb because like why the fuck did I just spend four fucking hours imagining global conquest because I tripped over my words answering a question in lecture this morning?
Anyway I think this is kind of related to hyper focus. Basically your mind decides—without and/or against your will—to focus on something that angers you all day. You feel the desire to do something about it, but you can’t, and you can’t even really stop focusing on it no matter what you try, so you just get more mad.
Unfortunately it often happens when I’m stressed to begin with because I have tasks I need to get done, but then that stress just feeds the fire. Meditation might be helpful but the most effective option I’ve found is to put on phonk or metal or vocaloid songs that are very fast and loud or violent then imagine acting on my anger till I’ve exhausted all the rage. Once it feels boring to stay mad, I can get back to doing my tasks. Again, this takes time and is probably not the healthiest way to cope, but it works for me so maybe it’ll work for other ADHD peeps who want a solution.
Bravo!
I need to get tested. These posts always feel spot on, but they can be so vague and wide, I feel like I'm just picking the parts I want to believe.
Anger... Chew on it. Can't drop it, can't drop it can't concentrate on anything else it gets worse you try to do something about it keep chewing on it it gets worse you spiral.
Hyper focus on the argument or issue
Not too long ago I got into a fairly short argument online with some friends. It killed my work productivity for the day because I couldn't stop thinking about it. And it even popped back up a few times later on in the week. It suuuuuucked.
Well poop, have I had adhd all along?
Bill Wurtz wrote that last one
Good reference!
While Bill Wurtz has many great clips and videos to pick from, but this is still my all time favorite. [NSFW]
Wait, is lust a symptom of ADHD?
Not sure about lust specifically though I suppose it’s possible to hyperfocus on it.
However, getting off is definitely something ADHD people can feel the urge to self medicate with. It is pretty strong stimulation, activating both dopaminergic and adrenal pathways (I think) which are the two that ADHD meds try to trigger to alleviate symptoms.
Furthermore, it helps with those under-stimulation days because it is stimulation, but can also help with overstimulation days because sex activates both the sympathetic AND parasympathetic nervous system. (it acts as both an upper and a downer) So it helps you relax and feel less stressed/irritable.
Sidenote: Nicotine is one of the only drugs that activates both pathways like this and surprise surprise it’s also something I’ve heard several ADHD people use to self medicate with or that they would use to help them focus before they realized they had ADHD.
Ive never been diagnosed, but the more I read, the more im convinved ive been functioning adhd my whole life.
Today i learned about nicotine. The only time id smoke while sober was the last 2 weeks of the quarter when i was cramming for finals/doing labs etc. After my last deadline, i wouldnt do it for 10 more weeks, but would hit it hard during finals again. Always kept me focused and motivated
If you want any help on getting diagnosed we can do it public or private. Either respond here or PM me. I got diagnosed this year at age 41.
What kind of help are you offering? I'm 42 and recent events have pushed me to seek the official diagnosis, but my last attempt was a blatant waste of time. The psychiatrist wasn't even interested in the possibility.
My first attempt was an infuriating waste of time and money too. I can offer some coaching and the name of the service I used. I just didn't want to seem like I was advertising.
I'm interested if it's not too much trouble. My current plan is to try and find any local resources or recommendations for doctors specializing in adult ADHD specifically. I was going to get around to that after the holidays. For sure. Probably.
So I'm always down for more info and more possible avenues I can explore. Especially since I don't know if I'll find what I'm looking for. Or when.
I used an online service called Klarity. My provider has moved to a different company called Kiwihealth. You can search and see if they have someone available for your state. You need access to a laptop with a camera to do the remote testing. You can do the telehealth visits with a phone.
They do not accept insurance and charge pretty reasonable fees. I had to go to a local LabCorp and have them take three vials of blood to do 16 tests of my general health. Honestly I was happy to do this because I don't go to the doctor unless I'm totally fucked up.
There are three things that are key to getting diagnosed. Explain why you think you have ADHD, and how severely it affects your life. This part is critical - explain how once you read about the symptoms of ADHD it made many of the difficulties of your childhood make sense. Because ADHD is a lifetime neurodivergent condition, it's not something that you get, it's something you've always had.
Third is the remote test. It's hard to explain but it's pretty simple. If you feel like you're doing too well then fuck up on purpose. I just tried without trying to focus super hard and it measured me as top 7% of severity. I was shocked.
Yeah, any kind of electronic or reaction based test concerns me a little because I've been a gamer my entire life, so my experience doing similar activities is going to affect my results when compared against a control that hasn't spent almost 40 years practicing. Fucking up on purpose doesn't seem great either, but it's definitely something I've thought about if I found myself in that situation. It would be really nice if I didn't need to, but that's wishful thinking.
I'm well set up for telehealth and I really appreciate the info! I'll definitely take a look. If I can find a local place that accepts insurance, that would be a big help financially, but I'm glad to have somewhere to look if that doesn't pan out for any number of reasons.
Don't worry about the test. I've played videogames since the original Mario. My oldest memory is actually my mom waking me up to see the end because my dad beat it.
This shit will come at you ridiculously fast.
I appreciate the reassurance at least. I still think the results will be skewed from what they would be if I didn't have that level of familiarity and practice, but I can at least hope it won't be significant enough to matter. Or, better yet, that more weight will be placed on the human elements like actually talking with me. I guess mostly it's just wanting to actually feel heard and understood instead of having my concerns and experiences dismissed yet again. We wouldn't still be undiagnosed in our forties if people listened.
I'm sorry you were so discouraged by the first experience. I was hot mad after mine, then I got the bill with crap on it like overtime, I was furious. I took the tests then had 15 minute phone call a week later. That's when I was told my work would be too hard for someone with ADHD.
I wish you luck in your search. Don't bomb the computer part on purpose or it will be suspicious. It was quite difficult, surprise surprise, because we have ADHD.
Thank you. I really do appreciate it. I know I'll get there in the end because it's the right diagnosis. But help like this gets me there a lot faster.
Now that you mention it, perhaps it is such good self medication that those who use it haven't yet realized they have ADHD.
Alright, so you just diagnosed me...
Wow, this explains why I was so addicted. It took forever to quit, and multiple attempts. I felt so much more with it when using it and have been so tempted to pick it back up.
I don't want to scare you but 90% of schizophrenics smoke.
90% of people diagnosed with schizophrenia smoke.
Do with that what you will.🚬
100% of murdering lunatics breathe air.
Do with that what you will.
Maybe not documented as such, but it’s understood to be correlated (especially in terms of “risky behaviors”), likely by way of chronic understimulation.
In layman’s terms: brain never gets the reward chemicals it needs > sex is a reliable source of reward chemicals > okay we’re obsessed with it now
Hypersexuality perhaps.
a symptom perhaps but not enough to diagnose you, you can be horny without having adhd
Amphetamines make you Hella horny
Is this ADHD or just the human experience? Because I can pay attention to things fine and I'm pretty mellow most of the time. But I feel all of these emotions pretty regularly. I also work with lots of people with ADHD and have lived with people with severe ADHD, and it feels like my experience is different than theirs.
Is any of this related to depression and anxiety, because I've got those too.
