this post was submitted on 22 Dec 2024
646 points (98.1% liked)

Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 42 points 1 day ago (2 children)

In before someone posts the green text story of a friendship of two straight dudes just being straight dudes having a good time blowing each other

[–] Early_To_Risa 9 points 1 day ago

That doesn't narrow it down as much as you'd think

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago
[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 day ago

This is not gay. A cock was touched, even stroked, but there is no mention of the soap. Did it fell? Did someone pick it up?

[–] [email protected] 134 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Fake: anon has a friend

Gay: literally gay

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Fake because Brad didn't get gay with Tim and anon

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[–] [email protected] 65 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (3 children)

Is it weird that the most unrelatable thing here for me is that SongeBob existed when anon was in high school?

Edit: a word

[–] TheSlad 77 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I'm over 30, SpongeBob existed when I was in middle school.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 days ago (7 children)

Yeah, I'm over 40. SpongeBob didn't exist when I was in high school.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Hmmm with this we can deduce that SpongeBob was created sometime after 40 year olds went to highschool but before 30 year olds went to highschool 🤔

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 day ago

This is where I remind you that 4chan has existed for over 21 years. Meaning that a kid born the day it started operation is now old enough to legally drink in the United States.

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[–] [email protected] 194 points 2 days ago (5 children)

How many dicks do I have to suck to prove I'm not gay!?

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Like one girl cock I think

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[–] [email protected] 57 points 2 days ago

In my case, at least one

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 day ago

Traumatize them back. Best revenge type.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago

"I have an idea for a great prank."

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 day ago (1 children)

If touching dick is gay almost every man is a homosexual

[–] sugar_in_your_tea 6 points 1 day ago (3 children)

What about touching other peoples' dicks?

[–] fibojoly 1 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago)

You're you trying to bend the rules!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago

Dick is dick I'd say

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago

My wife is definitely gay then

[–] [email protected] 33 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Tim is getting married at ~22?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago

Americans marry early. And often.

[–] weker01 35 points 2 days ago (17 children)

Is that strange where you are from?

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Indeed. Here most people are still either getting their education or just starting with work.

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[–] festnt 25 points 1 day ago (17 children)
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[–] [email protected] 100 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 days ago

One of the few anon stories that seems plausible

[–] TheSlad 33 points 2 days ago

Ahh, they must've whispered "no homo" before getting in the showers together!

[–] [email protected] 42 points 2 days ago (8 children)

Being queer in HS was so fucking fun.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

If you don't mind me asking, when were you in high school?

I was in high school in the late 2010s, in a red county in a red state, and there were a few openly queer ppl in my grade who were never bullied throughout high school.

I think it was because allies outnumbered the homophobes/transphobes and bullies only punch down, not up.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 days ago (4 children)

I was in high school in the late 00s early 10s and I remember guys in the locker room talking about how they'd murder a trans woman if one "tricked them". Around that point the only reason I didn't realize I was a trans woman was that I really didn't want to realize it.

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