this post was submitted on 16 Dec 2024
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Microblog Memes

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A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 hours ago

"How many of your kids hate you?"

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 hours ago

"Please stop headbutting my fist"

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)

"One day a man invited him into a richly furnished house, saying 'be careful not to spit on the floor.' Diogenes, who needed to spit, spat in his face, exclaiming that it was the only dirty place he could find where spitting was permitted."

[–] [email protected] 15 points 17 hours ago

I would literally pretend I had absolutely no clue who he was or any familiarity with any of his "achievements" or why they're "important". It would be pretty funny to see him try to respond to that.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

I’d ask him how his values were so easily changed by a comedian and his roving troupe of rude boys.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 hours ago

Musk: They weren't, I just stopped lying about them.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago)

You've gone from being perceived as an inspiring intelligent neurodiverse outsider, to an evil good for nothing oligarch. Can you imagine what the impact would be if you would announce tomorrow, that you would give all or most of your shares to the employees that work for your companies, and you would state to the world that having (hecto)billionaires is dangerous and immoral, and that being one you experienced first hand that it is psychologically harmful, that you lost sense of who you were, but now want to return to your innocence.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 hours ago

hey look its welfare guy.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 21 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Show him this picture and just ask "Why?".

[–] [email protected] 5 points 21 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 8 points 21 hours ago

"Bet you can't end world hunger"

"Excuse me?"

"So, Bezos was right?"

"Now listen here you little shit.."

[–] [email protected] 11 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

"Can I have a dollar?"

If he says yes, and give me a dollar, I'd wait for him to put his wallet away and then ask,

"Can I have another dollar?"

And then do this on repeat until he stops.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 22 hours ago

"No sorry, I only carry hundred dollar notes with me."

[–] [email protected] 54 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I would ask him who he is. Then when he gets upset that I don't recognize him and he gives me his name I say "hmmm, never heard of you."

Watch is ego implode.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 hours ago

"Musk? Like the supermarket grade perfume? Did you know musk comes from glandular secretions? The word comes from 'testicle' because the gland looks like a scrotum." Give a couple of sniffs... "Oh wow, that's amazing!"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

"You look like a guy I saw in an episode of Rick and Morty" Smile "Elon Tusk?" "No Mr Poopy Butthole"

[–] [email protected] 6 points 22 hours ago

No this can't be right, Mr poopy butthole is a good and likable character.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

"Trump surrounds himself with Yes Men who constantly just kiss his ass.... Is that why you two get along so well?"

Or on a more realistic note I'd ask him about climate change and try to understand what twisted logic he's using to justify his actions.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 22 hours ago

You’re giving him too much time to explain his stupidity.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The only question I'd have for someone like him is.

"Do you think even the worst person can change...? That everybody can be a good person, if they just try?" And then I'd try my hand at fighting him after I got through the Sans Undertale speech.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 22 hours ago

Excuse me, but you look familiar. Where do I know you from? Elon Musk? Do you sell perfume? X.com? Is that a porn site?

[–] [email protected] 143 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (4 children)

With his fragile ego, I’d spend the entire time asking if he could smell that awful smell. I’d ask him to check the bottoms of his shoes, drawing more and more attention and increasing his discomfort, all the while pretending that I’ve never heard of Elon Musk.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 21 hours ago

"That's okay, I forget to brush my teeth some mornings as well."

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Tell him about trains without saying trains and hope for the best

[–] [email protected] 4 points 22 hours ago

Just a normal train, but it has RGB lights and a touchscreen on each seat...

[–] explodicle 17 points 1 day ago

I'd just leave myself. Words mean nothing to fascists; I'd be wasting my breath and sitting at his table.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 1 day ago (3 children)

I’d slap him. I don’t fucking care, I’m dying from societal neglect and welfare failings and like literally 0.00001% of his wealth could fix all my problems, you have to be inherently selfish to hoard all that wealth (not to mention be inherently evil to get it in the first place).

(this is a joke, I wouldn’t put it past Musk for suing for verbal assault or something)

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 23 hours ago

Can I ask the question with my ass? I would rip the loudest, wettest, stankiest fart and then blame it on him.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 16 hours ago

Nothing, because that's not elon and he wouldn't answer

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

"Oh, I know you ! you're that Ironman guy who can't build himself a flying armor ?"

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

More like, you're the guy dancing on stage with that orange pedo

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Elon is friends with Gillaines Maxwell, himself

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[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 day ago (4 children)

pretend not to know who he is

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 17 hours ago

Do you ever think about the consequences of what you do?

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