this post was submitted on 15 Aug 2023
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A Volusia County woman suspected of killing her 79-year-old roommate allegedly doused herself in soda in an attempt to erase possible evidence on her body, according to an arrest affidavit.

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[–] [email protected] 79 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Her DNA was later found on the handle of a bloody knife found lying next to the victim's body at the Daytona Beach home they shared, the affidavit stated.

And she would have gotten away with it if she'd bedewed the knife!

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

bedewed

TIL a word. This is masterful wordplay.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Apparently, she wouldn’t have had time since she bedewed herself AFTER she got arrested!

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[–] [email protected] 75 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Sarah Lynn?... Sarah Lynn...?

[–] [email protected] 49 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Not to dox myself but it’s always nice to see news about my home town as a reminder to never return

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I stayed in Holly Hill for like a week....what a fucking shithole 😂

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Holly Hill is arguably the worst zip code in Volusia County. We called it Holy Hell.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

I have also been much happier since I left the Salt Life behind. Desantis can keep it.

[–] pomodoro_longbreak 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You should throw in some untrue details about your location from time to time, just to throw off the scent.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] pomodoro_longbreak 2 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 46 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

From the beginning of the 2009 Dunning-Kruger paper Unskilled and unaware of it:

In 1995, McArthur Wheeler walked into two Pittsburgh banks and robbed them in broad daylight, with no visible attempt at disguise. He was arrested later that night, less than an hour after videotapes of him taken from surveillance cameras were broadcast on the 11 o'clock news. When police later showed him the surveillance tapes, Mr. Wheeler stared in incredulity. “But I wore the juice,” he mumbled. Apparently, Mr. Wheeler was under the impression that rubbing one's face with lemon juice rendered it invisible to videotape cameras (Fuocco, 1996).

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

There was also the guy who robbed a bank after he paid a wizard to make him invisible, and he was pretty mad at that wizard when he found out the invisibility spell was bunk.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This is the best reference possible. Btw, you can hear either Dunning or Kruger (can't remember which) on an ep of the You Are Not So Smart podcast, which I no longer listen to, but it's an interesting interview.

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[–] [email protected] 42 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Florida

Yup that right there is the problem

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 year ago (2 children)

She poured diet Mountain Dew all over her body

Everyone knows that this is a job for Diet Double Dew.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I don't know, I would choose Voltage for cleaning up a crime scene. Blue things clean better.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

No, that's just for cleaning windows, you nincompoop.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Yup. Purples are best for general cleaning.

[–] 5redie8 3 points 1 year ago

Lidl store brand blue raspberry energy drink works too

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago

Just because it tasted like bleach doesn’t mean it’s going to clean up like bleach.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago

Florida woman

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

Don’t do the dew if you can’t do the time…

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

What the...reads Florida...ahh...

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

What a shockingly Florida headline

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

DNA evidence being all the blood that she was covered with when the police caught her wandering around barefoot with a knife and hammer, outside a burger joint at half three in the morning? I’m sure that if she’d just had a moment longer to rinse it off, then her cast-iron ‘I usually carry stuff like that’ defence would have worked, and she wouldn’t have had to start fighting the police. So close to being the perfect crime.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Yeah only blue works I thought everyone knew that...

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

Just Florida things

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

She really was in a sticky situation.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Brawndo has electrolytes.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

#LetFloridaSink

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Neck tattoos. A clear sign of a stable and smart individual.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

In another life she would have been a keeper.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

tampering with evidence

I mean, attempted tampering with evidence…

edit: j/k she also tried to burn the house down. That will get rid of evidence.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

In her defense, she saw what it had done to her teeth, destroying DNA is a logical progression.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Kim Deal nooooo

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Florida meeting those expectations, without fail. As usual.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

That's not how the verification can works, you have to dance for it.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Red Bull's what gives you Wings. She could have gotten away with it.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Oh, why am I not surprised it's Florida. ಠ_ಠ

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Mmmeth kills you and the ones around you.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Hmm, lil suspicious that scientists haven't come out with tests to disprove this theory

[–] Cantankerousnuts 1 points 1 year ago

Is Mugshawtys on Mastodon yet?