this post was submitted on 26 Nov 2024
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Florida inmate compares herself to 'Virgin Mary' after getting pregnant from saran-wrapped semen tossed into air vent by fellow prisoner (www.latintimes.com)
submitted 11 hours ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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29-year-old Daisy Link was being held at the Turner Guilford Knight Correctional Center in Miami-Dade County, Florida, when she met 24-year-old Joan Depaz, initially contacting him through the vents in their prison cells, according to WSVN7.

"You would knock on it and you can hear the people from the different floors. You would stand on the toilet actually to be able to talk to them," said Link. "Being in isolation for so long you begin to spend hours and hours talking to this person, you know, to the point where it's almost as if you're in the same room with them."

...

After Link and Depaz began a romantic relationship, Depaz shared his ambitions to have a child with Link, according to WSVN 7News.

"I always really wanted to have a baby. And I'm not gonna get to do that for a really long time," said Depaz, recounting what he told Link. "So if I had to choose somebody, you know, it would be you. And she was like, 'Yeah, we could do that.'"

Depaz and Link then hatched a plan to create a direct line between each other's cells using bedding. Once they had established this, Depaz began sending Link his own semen wrapped in saran wrap.

...

"I put the semen in Saran Wrap every day like five times a day for like a month straight" he continued.

Link described receiving the packages, which were rolled up "almost like a cigarette", administering them to herself using yeast infection applicators.

After a couple of attempts, Link became pregnant with "a miracle baby", conceiving "like the Virgin Mary," according to Depaz.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 hour ago

"Potion seller, I need your strongest potions."

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 hours ago

And they say romance is dead

[–] [email protected] 23 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

So that's how God did it, huh?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 hours ago

The Bible hand-waves away some steps, but pretty much.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

It's the tokophobia talking, but I do find it fascinating how much people can want to be pregnant.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 hours ago

The whole "Don't stick your dick in crazy" is this woman in a nutshell.

[–] TheSlad 23 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Still a better love story than Twilight?

[–] southsamurai 6 points 7 hours ago

Absolutely. If nothing else, I'm not hoping everyone involved dies at the end, which is a massive change from twilight

[–] [email protected] 14 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

I read that as Satan-wrapped and I had questions. Then I read it correctly... still many questions.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 hours ago

It's questions all the way down.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago)

Anyone can be a father. But it takes semen in Saran Wrap every day like five times a day for like a month straight to be a dad.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago) (1 children)

The Shaw-wank Redemption?

Edit: Or Sore-shaft Redemption.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago) (1 children)

I was coming on here to post: Sure-wank Impregnation but Frankensteining the two gets us:

The Sore-wank Impregnation

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 hours ago

"Every day like five times a day for like a month straight"

[–] [email protected] 69 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago) (1 children)

An image of Jeff Goldblum in the movie Jurassic Park, with a quote he says in that movie: "Life, uh, finds a way"

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 hours ago

Not like this Jurassic Park Scientist man. 😭

Not like this.

[–] [email protected] 87 points 11 hours ago

Who says romance is dead?

[–] [email protected] 26 points 9 hours ago

Huh, I need to re-read the Gospels, I don't remember the part about Mary stuffing semen she got from the HVAC vents into her cooter. God indeed works in mysterious ways.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago) (1 children)

5 times a day for a month!?

Where's he getting that much Saran wrap in jail?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 10 hours ago (2 children)

I got the sense that he was stockpiling his…product, and then shipping it over the border once he had accumulated enough for a proper insemination attempt. I hate everything about what I just typed.

[–] phdepressed 20 points 9 hours ago

Considering that sperm die pretty fast outside the body it's more likely it was "fresh".

[–] felykiosa 12 points 9 hours ago

I hate everything that I have read

[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 hours ago

I don't know, I am more inclined to believe that they found a way to meet up and have sex, but they are trying to hide that so they don't get into trouble. Maybe the facility is going along with it, so they don't get into trouble either.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 11 hours ago

That headline just got wilder with every word

[–] [email protected] 17 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago) (2 children)

To save any other Britons having to search it, "Saran Wrap" is American for "Cling Film".

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

Honestly we mostly call it cling film too

[–] [email protected] 13 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

"Plastic wrap" is the most common term in my area.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 hours ago

We call it "sperm saver".

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 hours ago

And for the Australians, Glad Wrap.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 11 hours ago

Life uh, finds a way.

[–] GhiLA 10 points 9 hours ago

"Did you love mommy a lot-alot?!"

Son

hand on your shoulder

It's like this...

[–] captain_aggravated 6 points 9 hours ago

Congrats on taking on child support payments from your fucking jail cell, m'dude.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 hours ago

Hopefully these two never meet in person because their relationship would suddenly end very quickly.

That poor kid that gets born from this relationship though ..... "Hey! are you that guy/gal that got born from the prison Virgin Mary? I heard of that story years ago on the internet!"

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 hours ago

Mentally ill people using a child for personal gain???

This aint the first time but people in this comment section acting like it is with all of that faux outrage.

Human condition for us on both levels