Futurama

Shut up baby I know it

Use it with the wife often, mostly with success

“Hahahaha”

Oh wait. You’re serious? Let me laugh even harder.

“HAHAHAHA”

My absolute favorite line is, "Spare me your space age technobabble, Attila the Hun."

That same episode also gave us the phrase, "a partially barfed-up heart," which is a phrase I can't even type here without laughing.

If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes should fall like a house of cards. Checkmate!

Old lady: Like I always say, live fast and die young Bender: You should say something else

I'll use the poor as a source of teeth for aquarium gravel

“Your music’s bad and you should feel bad!”

I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

Thus solving the problem once and for all.

• I don't know what to do! Should I eat more butter?!
• This is the worst part: the calm before the battle...oh wait! I forgot about the battle!
• Some of you will be forced through a fine mesh screen for your planet. Those men are the bravest of all...
• Please, gentlemen, we've all seen too many body bags and ball sacks.
• That wasn't cowardice!
• No, Scruffy, it's me, Washbucket! I love you, Scruffy! I've always loved you!
• Now open your mouth...No not that one. Your other mouth.

The use of words expressing something other than their literal intention. Now that is ironyyy

I was gonna go yachting in those feet!

"So, what you think you just explained was..."

"That's right. This box contains our own universe!"

"I'm having one of those things! You know? A headache with pictures"

"... An idea?"

Bender, depressed walks up to a bar:

"Gimmie your largest, strongest, cheapest drink"

My only regret is that I have boneitis

Nibbler: It's a genetic abnormality which resulted when you went back in time... and performed certain actions which made you your own grandfather.

fry: I did do the nasty in the past-y.

Nibbler: Verily. And that past nastification is what shields you from the brains.

Hey, Professor. You're a professor.

Gundersons Nuts! They're Nut so good!

I'm Shocked. SHOCKED! well not that shocked.

Hey. Fry. Pizza going out. C'MON!

Robot house

"Your mother!"

Its actually from that same scene; "NOW I AM LEAVING EARTH FOR NO RAISIN!!!" I often say "for no raisin!!!" in my daily life. :)

Your mistletoe is no match for my TOW missile!

Farnsworth: Dear Lord! That's over 150 atmospheres of pressure!

Fry: How many atmospheres can the ship withstand?

Farnsworth: Well, it's a space ship, so I'd say anywhere between zero and one.

I could do without these boobs flopping about

“They’re like sex except I’m having them”.

When you do things right people won't be sure you've done anything at all.

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.

If I don't survive, tell my wife, "Hello".

To shreds, you say..

Well, how's his wife holding up? To shreds, you say...

"wooooooooo"

"Thanks to denial, I'm immortal!"

"What really killed the dinosaurs?" " ME!!! "

"But you're better than normal! You're abnormal!"

When they're getting pulled down toward Atlanta:

How many atmospheres can this ship withstand?

Well it's a spaceship, so I'd say anywhere between zero and one.

I can wire anything directly into anything! I'M THE PROFESSOR!