this post was submitted on 19 Nov 2024
132 points (96.5% liked)

Humor

7470 readers
7 users here now

"Laugh-a-Palooza: Unleash Your Inner Chuckle!"

Rules


Read Full Rules Here!


Rule 1: Keep it light-hearted. This community is dedicated to humor and laughter, so let’s keep the tone light and positive.


Rule 2: Respectful Engagement. Keep it civil!


Rule 3: No spamming!


Rule 4: No explicit or NSFW content.


Rule 5: Stay on topic. Keep your posts relevant to humor-related topics.


Rule 6: Moderators Discretion. The moderators retain the right to remove any content, ban users/bots if deemed necessary.


Please report any violation of rules!


Warning: Strict compliance with all the rules is imperative. Failure to read and adhere to them will not be tolerated. Violations may result in immediate removal of your content and a permanent ban from the community.


We retain the discretion to modify the rules as we deem necessary.


founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 22 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 25 points 3 days ago (1 children)

In spite of their highly visible Christian facade, I suspect it is secretly run by witches and you've identified the main ley-line through the area.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago

I imagine hobby lobby, with their illegal artifact collecting, is a Christian sect which does believe in magic and the power of other religions. They use Christian geomancy to find the holy Spirit without identifying it as a ley line.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 days ago (2 children)

they're building a particle accelerator. the HLC.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 days ago

They're smashing a bunch of decor together at very high energies hoping to discover a new fundamental holiday to capitalize on.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

i thought it was the hobby lobby orbital mass driver

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 days ago

Hail Ziklag!

A network of ultrawealthy Christian donors is spending nearly $12 million to mobilize Republican-leaning voters and purge more than a million people from the rolls in key swing states, aiming to tilt the 2024 election in favor of former President Donald Trump.

These previously unreported plans are the work of a group named Ziklag, a little-known charity whose donors have included some of the wealthiest conservative Christian families in the nation, including the billionaire Uihlein family, who made a fortune in office supplies, the Greens, who run Hobby Lobby, and the Wallers, who own the Jockey apparel corporation.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 days ago

Someone check to see if HL has purchased tunnel boring equipment recently

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 days ago

Hard to say, but smuggling artifacts is probably involved. They’re big fans.

[–] SonicBlue03 6 points 3 days ago

There must be a lot of Hobby Lobbyists in the area.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago (3 children)

I mean don't the Americans have a lot of really long streets all full of housing? Also note the one closed permanently being off the line.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 days ago (1 children)

While that is true, there are 2 things to unpack here: 1. Typically housing is zoned in different locations to businesses so this has no correlation. 2. This map is so big that none of those stores are actually in Chicago. They are all in the suburbs and it would literally take you 1.5 - 3 hours to get from the southern most one to the northern most one. They're all a lot farther apart than you may realize.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

I was wondering how they could possibly need that many Hobby Lobbies in one city

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] kambusha 3 points 3 days ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

None I'm aware of. Certainly not in Chicago, lived there a couple of years. There's a half-mile straight run of houses in my neighborhood back home, but that's unusual and only because it was originally an airstrip.

A long, straight road like that is going to be zoned commercial, no houses at all. Flip that around and a Hobby Lobby can't be in a residential zone.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Harlem Avenue is a long-ass street

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago

One time Hobby Lobby bought part of the Epic of Gilgamesh that had previously gone missing to display at a Christian convention or some shit

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

chicago is on a grid system and they are all on harlem avenue.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Yeah, but, why? Not the grid, although that'd be a funny answer, why only on Harlem ave?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago

harlem is basically retail end to end. its got a nice location in that all the el trains tend to extend that far west and its not to far into the city enough to attract suburban folks.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

Locations are determined by a person whose title I cannot remember. They balance a lot of issues, including alcoholism. They kind of punted....