Galadriel and Celeborn were married in the First Age and the story takes place at the end of the Third, so they were married for at least six and a half thousand years. During that time, they had one child. How often do you think they had sex?
this post was submitted on 29 Oct 2024
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All Celeborn has is Teleporno.
I does my heart good to see more Silmarillion memes leak into lotrmemes.
To be fair, his name is Celeborn. Can't blame him for being celibate.
Excuse me, his name is Teleporno. In original Quenya of course.
No, I blame Tolkien and his literally making elves only bang for the purpose of procreation because he's a repressed Catholic weirdo sometimes.
Jokes on him, modern society has agreed elves are hos.
It would be prudent for a sentient species with such long lifespans to practice planned procreation rather than multiplying exponentially like a culture on a petri dish.
There's the Elven Rope that's light as a feather and strong as steel. No reason there could not have been the Elven Condom that's thin and impermeable.
I'm sure they had them, but they're incompatible. Can't make Elven Ropes while wearing an Elven Condom.
Fair enough, but I think we can agree that Tolkien elves were bad at planning
He could have just given them all narrow urethras like Hank Hill
Some would say 40k maybe went a little too far in the opposite direction with dark elves.
Thats weirdly more of a Warhammer fantasy hold over what with dommy mommy Morathi, mind you unlike the Aeldar they didnt murderfuck orgy Slaanesh into existance.
So they say...
AkShUaLlY…. It’s pronounced “Kel-a-born”….but I still applaud your humor!
Most, if not all c’s are pronounced as hard K’s in Elvish (Elven?) languages.
It does get a little weird with places like Cirith Ungol, but there are, allegedly, older maps where it’s spelled Kirith.
Successfully millions of times, unsuccessfully once.
Once.
But elf sex is crazy weird. Like, they were still doing it while Frodo and the Fellowship were there.
Dude it's elves who knows. She also slowes the passage of time by like MONTHS for a day, on top of being immortal it's pretty obnoxious. Maybe they only plow once a 1000 years, or maybe it's every day and they are only fertile once in thousands of years.
They did Celeborn so dirty in the movies.
At least he's in the movies, AMAZON.
2nd to last episode of this season pissed me off....
... why would you keep watching after season 1 when it was super clear they had no idea what to do with this project?
Curiosity, but at this point this show is entirely a bad fanfiction and has zero respect for the source material
You made it all the way to the 2nd to last episode of season 2?
🌞
Gandalfy literally went away to chill peacefully for eons with his spicy ring.
And Gandalf wasn't alone. He was banging little Hobbit chicks for ages
And we all know where he wore the ring.
Oh god, now I have the image of Gandalf's scrawny ass with a pencil dick
*with a pencil dick on fire
Just sitting there, winking at you, asking if you want to smoke
Filthy hobbitses
According to Amazon Prime she wants Elrond bad but he dun wan it!
He does now. Which is weird since A) she's already got guy, and B) cause Elrond ends up with her daughter
Hot
Rude.
Friendzone level.....
He's got a whole crew, Kale! I'm obviously speaking metaphorically!