LinkedinLunatics

Hey, bud. I can't leave the office after just getting there to go lift weights. I also have zero control over 80% of the meetings I attend. Dude has no idea how privileged he is.

• wake up at 5:30am

Fuck right off.

Terms like "connect", "be present", "superpower" tell me this is not for the average working person, but the higher paid bosses of such people who can do whatever they want.

Wake up at 5:30am

Counter offer: go to hell

Tldr guy only works 3 hours a day

Couple big problems -

To start, this is a morning routine, not a mourning routine. While it is true that I often mourn the morn, dude needs to learn how to spell.

Second, if you're up at 5:30, and not drinking coffee until 7am, and then have 3 hours of focused work, that right there is 10am. Your morning is supposed to be 'won' by this point, and you still haven't gotten to the weight training part of your morning.

"Saying 'no' is a superpower, it will lead you to your true calling. Trust your instincts."

"Want my morning routine checklist? Follow Matt Gray"

No. ( :

"Boosts testosterone". I bet this dude thinks of himself as an alpha male.

Most of these make sense but its from a very privileged perspective.

• wake up whenever, alarm usually goes off 8:30. Maybe i hit snooze a buncha times

• start work at 10. Wfh, pants optional

• work according to load, mostly fart about house.

• Take a long walk for lunch, usually blow out my step requirements

• fuck off work 3:30, go fuck around in garden until sun sets

• big fat dinner sitting on my arse watching telly with hubs, then gaming after he goes to bed at 9ish

• bed around 1ish under fat purring cat.

Funny how it's not the worst idea but "this alone separates you from 99% of people" is like putting poison in soup and now the whole thing is ruined.

"No meetings before 2pm", "saying no is a superpower" yeah brill mate I'll just say no to my boss multiple times a morning forever and absolutely won't get fired for being difficult thanks Matt xo

This isn't terrible advice, but it's presented in such a way that I want to strike the author for being such a smug prick.

The thing that's so irritating to me isn't the tone, isn't the weird preaching, isn't the push to follow on social media. What gets me (as it always does) is that assholes like this push their message as a one-size-fits-all message.

Assholes like this always think everyone else works just like them, and it makes me crazy.

Did they draw hyperlinks in their notebook?

Sunrise here, tomorrow, is around 7:30. When I take my morning walk, presumably just after I wake up at 5:30 because the walk is supposed to “get my brain ready to work” and I’m supposed to put several hours of work in during the morning, how do I “get sunlight in my eyes”?

Here’s my morning routine:

1. Wake up at 8 (assuming a crying baby doesn’t wake me up sooner)

2. Change diapers

3. Spend time with my wife and sons

4. Walk to the grocery store with my toddler (3500 steps round trip or so)

5. Drink a kombucha on the way home (coffee raises my cholesterol and gives me awful anxiety symptoms)

6. Change diapers

7. Take my toddler to the playground, weather permitting

8. Have lunch with my wife and sons

9. Read books to my toddler, change his diaper, and put him down for a nap

10. Think about how I’m leaving the USA next year partially because American work culture is absolute trash

I’m on paternity leave and it’s been the best part of my career. As in not working at all is the best part of my career. How fucked is that?

I would gladly change diapers and hang out with screaming kids all day instead of dealing with my dumb ass coworkers and people who can’t honor a meeting invite planned weeks out but then expect me to “hop on a quick call” which then achieves nothing. Between the constant threat of layoffs and losing my livelihood and the political backdrop of having my family deported because they’re too dark a shade of brown and speak Spanish sometimes?

Fuck this place. I’m out.

There is a single insightful line in this whole image:

Your biggest enemy is distractions.

Unfortunately, this image is one of those distractions.

wake up at 5.30 so you can be at your top shape by 8 am and earn that yacht for your CEO!

Step 8: wake up for real this time. It's 9:30 and you're late.

I’ve loathed people based on less information before, but not with this intensity.

Most people don't get a chance to do those things. Wake up, commute while sending off kids, work dreadful shit, collect kids, shop, make dinner, relax15 minutes, pass out, repeat.

Except. bank holiday comes 6 times a year. Cheers.

The only thought I'm connecting with at 5:30 in the fucking morning is "I'm so tired, I want to go back to sleep".

I prefer the other Matt Gray tbh, he's funnier and doesn't tell me to wake up at 5:30 when I've just gotten to sleep...

I wake up at 5:30 because my arsehole boss insists that I’m at my desk at 7am.

As a result I’m tired all the time and get fuck all done.

I saw this multiple times already on Linkedin reposted with huge engagement.

While I understand this is borderline fiction, absolutely unrealistic and in my eyes an equivalent of those pictures with pretty girls laughing with a plate of salad promoting healthy eating, but for me the comment section of this post is the cherry on top cheering how "brilliant" this is. People are so fucked up on Linkedin.

"I wake up at 5:30 because I fall asleep at 18:30. Everyone should try to live like this bro"

This is unironically close to my routine. I wake up at 5, walk the dog for 30-60 minutes, have breakfast, then start work before anyone else so I can get shit done before people start showing up. I wrap up my day around 2pm, walk for 1-2 hours, make dinner, then chill. It's worked well for me.