The perfect way to mourn your mundane life.
this post was submitted on 15 Oct 2024
330 points (95.6% liked)
LinkedinLunatics
3710 readers
5 users here now
A place to post ridiculous posts from linkedIn.com
(Full transparency.. a mod for this sub happens to work there.. but that doesn't influence his moderation or laughter at a lot of posts.)
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
Couple big problems -
To start, this is a morning routine, not a mourning routine. While it is true that I often mourn the morn, dude needs to learn how to spell.
Second, if you're up at 5:30, and not drinking coffee until 7am, and then have 3 hours of focused work, that right there is 10am. Your morning is supposed to be 'won' by this point, and you still haven't gotten to the weight training part of your morning.
Wake up at 5:30 then go for a walk. It is recommended to take a 30 min to 1 hour walk in the morning. Also including prep time so I'd say about 15 minutes. So let's say we're at 6:45 now. Wait 90 minutes so now we're at 9:45. Now making americanos at home is also time consuming if it isn't pre prepped or if you don't have a full espresso setup in your home, it could take 30 or 45 minutes and you'd have take it stronger to compensate for the ice melting in the hot cup. So now we're at 10:30. 3 hours of work, 1:30. Lift weights; you can get that done in 30 minutes, but you also have to factor in cleaning yourself up or else you're just going to baste in your own sweat all day until you shower. So I'd give that another 30 minutes. It is now 2:00, you're late for your meetings which removes your "superpower" to say no, you didn't factor in any time to eat lunch, your blood sugar is probably bottoming out because you had a very caffeine rich coffee drink and lifted weights without nutrients, and you're going to feel like garbage until you get food in you.
Horrible plan
In fairness he says 90 minutes after waking, not 90 minutes after the walk. If you get home from the walk by 6:30 that's 30 minutes to make it, or potentially buy it if you have one nearby to get on the way home/quickly drive to.
Now yes that's already 10am, but considering he mentions 2pm in the right column, you could make the argument the left column is the "until 10am" part, and the right is "after 10am" part, though I am giving large amounts of benefit of the doubt at this point.
Haha, that's quite the reality check. God I hate those grifters...
How is it taking you up to 45 minutes to make a cup of coffee? I can make a hot cup in ten, and most of that is spent waiting.
An Americano does not contain coffee. It is just espresso and hot water.
I dunno, I feel like I've won on any day I don't have to lift heavy things.
Keeping it noodley. ✊
oh I'll definitely be mourning if I were to wake up at 5
Mourning my will to live
I like how planning the morning the night before happens in the morning. That's about how much I procrastinate, too.
If I’m waking up at 5:30am and not drinking caffeine for 90 minutes, I’m definitely mourning.