Microblog Memes

You forget the falling asleep literally 12 minutes before your alarm goes off.

Just dream about sleeping and being well rested afterwards while taking a power nap. Ezpz.

Wait so sleep has momentum? Does sleep have mass? Is dark matter just all the sleep in the galaxy? Coffee is an anti-gravitational field??

One of my college roommates only needed six hours.

Jokes on him, he got to hear me hit the snooze for an hour every day.

Considering what you've tried this might seem obvious but since I didn't see these explicitly mentioned:

Have you tried being really consistent with your sleep schedule? Especially the time you wake up? (Probably the most important thing one can do for sleep quality)

Have you checked wether the temperature you sleep in is ideal(cooler than normal)?

Have you eliminated lights and noise from your bedroom? It needs to be completely dark and insulated from noise.

Have you checked your sleep position and mattress? There are certain professional suggestions I've read about, like you should sleep on your side ideally with your dominant hand on top(fetal position) and the mattress should not be too hard or too soft and you sink into it too much and you should be replacing it from time to time(5-10 years).

Have you optimized your pre and post sleep routines? Like staying away from screens and blue lights, winding down(for pre sleep), not changing up the routines as much as possible.

Are you exercising enough and enough time before sleep?

Not to preach to the choir, but my sleep quality improved greatly when I started a very physical job. Not to say you have to do that, but moving around can be very beneficial

Have you checked the air quality in your room during the night? If the CO2 level is too high you will not sleep well and may wake up with headaches or otherwise feeling unwell.

Best to sleep with a window open to ensure some fresh air can get in.

Let me introduce you to my friend Magnesium. It's improved my sleep quality substantially in the past 2 weeks I've started taking it

Intelligent design, but the designer was on a tight schedule and had to ship the MVP

I'm with you there.

If this ::wildly points at self:: is intelligent design, then said intelligence clearly adhered to a strict "just barely good enough to survive and move genes around" work ethos. That, or over-doing it wasn't going to fit into the time and materials budget.

Source: anxiety, PMS, knees, shoulders, oversized skull, vulnerable gonads on outside of body.

their body is a little bitch

Stress, poverty, poor health, overwork, poor mental health...

Cpap doesn't work for everyone, either. So don't feel like a failure when it actually makes your sleep quality worse.

Definitely see a doctor first. While a CPAP machine can do wonders, it really only works for those who stop breathing. If you don't stop breathing, it can actually do more harm to your sleep.

This mfer thinks we can afford a CPAP

What are you talking about? I love myself for 3 minutes before bed every night

I'm American. What insurance?