this post was submitted on 21 Sep 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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Anon applies for a job (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 2 months ago by Early_To_Risa to c/greentext
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[–] [email protected] 152 points 2 months ago (8 children)

Not really a similar story, but the OP brought it to mind.

I once applied for a position as a software developer. It said "Java and RPG."

I hadn't done any Java in about 4.5 years at the time. And I'd never so much as touched RPG.

When they asked if I'd done any Java programming, I responded that it had been a few years, but I'd be "brushing up" on it. I wasn't completely new to it.

But I said since I'd never touched RPG, I had been studying that in preparation for the interview.

And the interviewer looked at me funny and said "why?"

I explained that it was in the job description for the position I'd applied to. And he basically facepalmed, exasperated at whichever department was responsible for the job listings.

I've worked there for almost 8 years now and haven't done so much as a single line of RPG.

Then there was the time I applied to a job listing for a Python developer. I showed up and they asked if I had any C# experience. I told them I'd never touched C#, but am a quick study. They said they were migrating away from Python to C#. Said it as if I shouldn't have applied if I didn't have C# experience. But I don't know by what logic they expected me to have been able to intuit that given that the job listing said nothing about C#. Just Python.

Basically, I've never applied to a job that didn't have glaring inaccuracies in the listing.

[–] [email protected] 47 points 2 months ago

Same experience here.

I've learned the basics of 15 different database, coding, web design languages over the course of many different tech jobs ... because my job description would just randomly expand into something new within 2 months.

And of course, I had to teach myself all this, with only one exception of an actual competent manager who actually properly trained me.

Nothing is ever documented, or the documentation is wrong.

One job I had as a data analyst for the executive level of a logistics company. The person I was replacing had coded some extremely high level reports wrong and was double counting some categories such that total, global revenue for the company was overestimated by about 30%

I fixed it and explained the fix.

Not a single executive of this world wide logistics company seemed to notice.

[–] TheSlad 20 points 2 months ago

I once a applied for a job that said C# .NET in the title, the requirements listed embedded systems programming qualifications, and their automated hiring thing gave me a little "aptitude test" asking questions for a tech support role. Literally one of the questions was if I would be able to install antivirus software on other employees' computers.

[–] fadedmaster 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

And this is why you never say no to a job posting just because you think you're not qualified. Apply anyway. You might be exactly what they're looking for and be an otherwise great fit.

Every job I've had except for my first retail job I have not met the posted requirements, but I've been able to either learn on the job or proved in the interview process that I know the subject matter despite not having the degree.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Um.. No. If the company doesn't value my time by posting a correct job listing, I don't want to work for them. These are the same HR people posting the jobs who will then have trouble maintaining a good work environment, or making sure people aren't abused/harassed in the workplace. These people will have access to your data and you'll be trusting them to not make paper airplanes out of your SSN. And if it's not HR creating the job postings, it's some low/mid-level manager you might have to work for some day. Do you really want Mr "better make sure the new waiter knows how to install HVACs" handling your workload and giving you tasks?

When a company tells you its HR department is full of idiots I think you wanna listen to them.

[–] fadedmaster 0 points 2 months ago

I've never seen a posting that far off. I mean if you're applying for waiter jobs and they list a bunch of HVAC qualifications, that sounds more like a mistake where they gave the wrong position title or selected the wrong job description. Which would be an honest mistake. These HR people are human just like you and I. Mistakes will happen.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I've been studying RPG in preparation for the interview.

Hiring manager to HR: "Good Lord what cruelty have we inflicted upon this person?" 😨

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

I once was hired after being offered the job because I had at the time extensive LDAP knowledge. In the three years I was there I never touched LDAP.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

"Ok, then let's say you give me a coffee so i haven't come here for nothing and we look if you could use me somewhere else while i drink that coffee."

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Different, but still hiring fuckery

Friend applied for a job, database admin, HR called to set-up and interview. Two days later he got an email from the IT department, of that company, telling him that they weren't actually supposed to be responding to applicants for the position. He emailed asking if the posted position had been filled, and then received weirdly worded response saying yes, but implying that it never opened for that particular job post. Then they stopped communicating with him. They were just posting jobs they weren't hiring for.

He passed it all off to a link for, employment law, at the city chamber of commerce. Not that anything would be done.

[–] [email protected] 110 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Another possibility: what if the manager had a bias and immediately lied to turn away the applicant because their race/gender/appearance/eyc.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 months ago

or autism

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Or instead of just immediately playing the bigotry card on some green text...

Person could have walked in and was drunk, or high. Having worked in kitchens way back when I have seen both with great regularity.

Person could have walked in and been immediately inappropriate especially with the front house.

Maybe it was an actual high-end restaurant where it requires somebody to have actual skills,

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago (2 children)

then just say "you're drunk go home" not pretending like the application didn't exist

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

That could be what happened. Greentext is just a bunch of stories. If you really think about it, it’s just as likely that this is entirely made up.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Your assuming that all the details are in the story, and everything said was accurate. Or hell, the story even ever happened and wasn't made up.

Here's an example, of people not really connecting the dots when they tell their side of the story. https://www.youtube.com/shorts/t0QqrgWVvWw

Also, if a person shows up drunk to an interview, do you think they wouldn't show up drunk to work? The kitchen is a dangerous place, I've personally seen many emergency room visits because someone was careless. And some people aren't good at accepting "no" as an answer.

[–] [email protected] 61 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Sadly some 'jobs' post positions just to collect resumes and sell the data. Just kicking us while we're down really 😮‍💨

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Lol restaurants don't have time for that shit. Who would buy that kind of data from a restaurant anyway? Even if you had more than 200 applicants a month that would probably net you less than $10.

[–] OneWomanCreamTeam 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

If it's a chain I could definitely see corporate setting up some automated system to do that.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

doesn't need a chain. many companies save money offloading the application process to an external website, and that one manages it for a lot of different companies and then sells your data

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

But then the restaurant would be paying for that service, not making money from it. They probably wouldn't even be aware the data was being sold.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 2 months ago

I'd definitely start prank calling that place to waste their time.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 months ago

Someone is getting a lot of no-show reservations.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 months ago

It’s especially annoying in public funded jobs because they’re often required to interview a bunch of people even if they’re already intending to give it to someone internal

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago

Someone is about to have rats let loose in their restaurant