A casual community for people with ADHD
Values:
Acceptance, Openness, Understanding, Equality, Reciprocity.
Rules:
Encouraged:
Relevant Lemmy communities:
lemmy.world/c/adhd will happily promote other ND communities as long as said communities demonstrate that they share our values.
The generic for Ritalin works wonders for me. Extended Release though, not regular or Sustained Release.
The second thing that most improved my ADHD was not trying to do anything complex or important in the evenings after focus is lost. Just let it be relaxation and gaming time so I don't need to clean up my failure in the morning.
Interesting. I'm usually wired in the morning, crash late afternoon/evening, and then get wired again at around 11pm.
I used to before being diagnosed when I worked 10-6 or noon to 8 shifts. Working 8-5 really fucks with my sleep and causes the evening brain fog.
But 8-5 pays way better.
Tbh. While Ritalin is high on this list, the single most life improving thing was to get my shit together and finally go talk to my doctor about it and get help from a psychiatrist. I begged my doctor to not just send me home and leave it up to myself to call the psychiatrist and I begged for her to force me to call back and verify I booked a time. My ADHD gives me anxiety if I break a promise so that finally did it for me by promesing to my doctor that I'll call back when I got the help. I safeguarded the hell out of the situation also with my girlfriend because I was so desperate for help and just could not get myself to do it alone. As I got started it got easier to keep going realy quickly because I got motivated, but oh boy was the beginning it all the hardest part of everything.
Yes! It feels like nobody ever considers ANY of this!
"Sure, we can help, just call these people, fill out these forms, fax your insurance card to these 4 numbers, and..." nevermind, I'm going to bed.
Omg 💯. MAKE people help you. But people hate that, so you gotta frame it right: “you must help me HELP MYSELF”. imho this works better
Ignore this if you're only looking for medication advice.
I simply stopped going against my ADHD. I stopped trying to achieve things that ADHD was preventing me from achieving. "Achievement/success" is completely overrated.
don't fight it, embrace it.
How did you achieve this? Did you change jobs or positions at your job? What do you do for a living?
I live in a country with social safety net. If I lose my job, I just live on that until I find a new one. I have a roof and warmth and food, that is enough for me.
Currently I work in a job with 20 hours a week, work from home, and flexible so I can work almost whenever I want. When I feel too bad about not having worked a while I start working, as is ADHD custom. I don't do a lot, I'm not recognized as a hard worker, I don't stand out, I just do enough.
That's exactly my aim now. I overworked myself in past. Employers out here are living in the past, demanding 40h weeks. This really broke me several times with burnout depression. Now, in the job interviews, I tell them all that I will not work more than 35h, better: 32.
Honestly, I would not be above complete and utter deception. Companies and many of the people working for them don't have your wellbeing at heart. In a job interview, I always present as the best and hardest, most passionate worker going above and beyond all the time. I do not feel bad about it at all. Then I just do as much as I can/want and see if they fire me. I simply do not care to be good and honest in a system that's the farthest away from goodness and honesty.
All the more confirmation that I need to leave America.
Completely serious? Psylocibin does an amazing job of neutralizing my ADHD for a few hours. The lingering effect makes it easier to self regulate for about two weeks after a trip. It's a wonderful thing. I literally cried the first time.
It does the same to my depression. For about two weeks afterwards I just feel capable of feeling happy? Antidepressants have NEVER achieved that.
Straterra didn't do shit other than make my libido nonexistent. Ritalin has worked well for me. I know people who felt like they were in hell while on Ritalin. A lot of it is trial and error since all bodies process them differently.
I will say, there are genetic tests you can take to see which medications are tolerated well by your body. I took one and surprise surprise, I had the markers for straterra not being well tolerated. Also if you have other family members who have ADHD and are on medication it's a good idea to ask them since your genetics will be somewhat similar.
Straterra didn't do shit other than make my libido nonexistent.
You can say that again! For me, irritability and nausea too. It just wasn't a good fit and I only figured it out on higher doses.
Aww man, this sounds fucking awful - but 10/10 just accepting myself. Because
a) you know what to look for when you are doing yourself dirty
b) you know what to not accept when others are doing you dirty
c) you know what to fess up over when you do others dirty
d) you can self-regulate within your own control "adulting"
e) you have sooo much less shame about existing
Second most, Adderall XR. It'll knock your ass out at the end of the day, so you're not up at 2 am snickering about something stupid or waking up feeling like some sort of cave-goblin and hating life because you stayed up to 2 am snickering about something stupid. But you gotta figure out what works for you. Also your dosage. Also, don't listen to people on Youtube. Half of them are probably shills, bots or agents of chaos and the majority of people on Youtube (as a whole) suck. They're always trying to sell you something, or be overly dramatic to entertain. But they don't act like real humans. I like weird music and long-form essays and I think without those two being on Youtube I wouldn't touch the place because I can't stand seeing videos with pictures like "WOAH! 100% QUICKER WAY TO REVERSE YOUR WHAT!?" and the person in the picture is going ٩(☉‿☉)ง!!!!
Follow what feels right to you though, you don't have to listen to me. I'm just some asshole on the internet =P
A loving and supporting partner that helps me when I need it and leans on me when they do.
Also, Concerta, a good sterile workplace, and exercise in the morning to get out the jitters.
It's depressing to hear most people say medication helped them the most. I'm still on a waiting list. Failing my college, work and life.
Even after I became aware that I have ADHD in my 40s, additional years were still wasted after not getting treatment, with lost jobs, money etc.
Sitting on a referral from the GP for 18 months now, and they don't even give me an appointment in a distant future. The only thing that worked for me in my 20s: Set the bar low enough. Stop "planning" to study for 3 hours "tomorrow", or half-assing 2 hours while a video plays, you are on the phone and get coffee 5 times. Instead, admit that you'll only get 25 minutes in. But do them today, completely focussed, no distractions, not even getting water, no toilet break etc.
Think of it like squid game. The team that gets the best test score after 25 minutes studying lives. You'd rather pee in your pants than to get up and certainly wouldn't check your phone.
Worked for me, can't say if it will for you.
tbh I wrote a long-ass post bc I saw yours; I also didn’t have meds when I started wrestling all this
I found out too late. I've unknowingly been battling for over a decade, and yet only now I understand just how insignificant my progress really is.
I get how you feel that, but I can’t agree. Knowing who we are is real, tangible progress. Ages of people like us died never having the words we’re able to use now. You’re still alive, and you’re trying, and you’re getting somewhere.
It’s not too late.
For me, learning to manage my life in a way that works with my ADHD. For example, if I learn I need to do something, and it's something I can do now, I get up and do it. If I don't, I'm likely to forget or put it off too long. Finding ways to build routines, like I suddenly decided I should lick my teeth when getting ready for bed, this makes me realize they are dirty, and I feel forced to brush my teeth before I can sleep. Before that I wasn't brushing every day. You have to figure out what ADHD prevents you from doing like a normal person, and plan around it.
I don't medicate right now because I have enough control to be able to function at work and my day to day life without it. But I've also had success in the past from either Vyvanse and Strattera (took them at different periods in my life)
Vyvanse
Mainly learning that I did, in fact, have ADHD, Then: medication (Vyvanse); drastically reducing or cutting weed, alcohol, and caffeine; therapy to help deal with childhood issues (which exacerbate symptoms); taking time away from work to start recovering from ADHD-driven burnout and building some structures to support my ADHD in the workplace.
Systems to externalize things. I've accepted that if I don't see something, it isn't happening, so I try to arrange and organize things in a way that it's physically out in the world for me. Digital doesn't work extremely well for me for the most part, except for some work things where it's all in one place, because digital disappears from existence when the screen turns off.
I hate it, but regular exercise, eating more healthy, and the nights where I can actually sleep are probably the biggest factors in whether I have a good day or not. Not that knowing that is enough, of course.
Oh, and just generally learning what my weaknesses are. I'm still hugely struggling with ADHD overall, but knowing the big weaknesses helps. It's not about doing what's easy, it's about facing what's hard head-on and accepting it sucks, but you have to go on.
My single biggest thing changed over time. Here comes a novel (caveat this turned out like a cheesy LinkedIn post, UGH apologies)
1st big thing - meditating.
Then with that meds became the biggest
Each was the biggest at its time. & once i got them, I needed less of each. Together they got me to an ok place. But still I wasn’t waking up & looking for jobs or being great to friends & family (here comes the vomitrocious LinkedIn part) —
Whatever magic works, they got me almost there, to where I could get a big chance (job, a partner I love, etc). But there they stop, that’s all the job they can do. For me, it’s me who has to do the work now. Couldn’t have done it without them, but they can’t do it all for me 🤷♂️
OP idk what will work for you & obviously this isn’t an answer you thought you were looking for. But I know your urge to seek out something now, means there is a future you who finds it
My story is a silly LinkedIn post & sorry for that , but… it’s true: your neuro-fucking-awesome brain will always tell you what’s right. That voice won’t ever leave you, even though it’s really quiet. So: idk, just go slowly & listen to your own brain 🧠 👍🙏💪
+1 for "The Good Place" bit
Nothing. Nothing has worked. I am fucking exhausted trying to figure out how to work with it or strategize against it and nothing fucking works. Fuck meds, fuck therapy, fuck psychiatry, fuck all the "just meditate and find a claiming center and 'enter inane unhelpful bullshit here'". Fuck it all. Nothing. Fucking. Works. I fucking hate it.
Good luck OP. I hope you have better luck than me.
I've been feeling this way a lot myself lately. I sympathize, it's putting me in a bad way too
Yeah, I get crabby and down if I dwell on it too much. So instead I bottle it up and let it fester. Surely that won't be an issue. I like your username BTW, that's awesome.
That is awful. I hope you can find relief somewhere.
I’ve been lucky and the drugs are a godsend for me, despite having the gene that makes me hyper metabolize stimulants (which basically means they don’t last long enough in my system).
It is seriously under-appreciated how awful this disorder is in the modern world - especially if you are not of the wealthier classes.
Yo, that's totally cool. Fuck meditation then, fuck all the rest of the shit. You might need to run your ass like a dog. NGL. OR! Just be an agent of chaos and own it and be fucking open with the people you're around "Hello, my name is _ and I am an agent of chaos" and then laugh maniacally and just fucking own that you make crazy shit happen. My girlfriend and I are both AuDHD and she does the craziest shit in this world. Shit that I wouldn't believe if I hadn't been around her. I fucking shit you not, I SHIT YOU NOT! I mean 10xs over I shit you not - she has just been minding her own business when shit just flies out of the sky around her. And I would never in a million years believe that shit, but I have seen it happen. And I saw it happen recently. And it's fucking insane, and it makes me realize there might be more to this world than we know. But for sure, you just be you. Cause I think my girlfriend said it best. It's better to be unmedicated and here, than medicated and one foot out the door. So please, just be aware that your way is totally valid too =)
I’m 43 and have had pretty troublesome ADHD my whole life. I was a mess of a student and failed at several careers. That said, I have found some intermittent and sometimes lasting success working in tech sales. I am still a disorganized mess. I still need meds. I take Vyvanse. What has brought some semblance of organizational presence for me is journaling. When I journal in the morning, it calms the noise and releases some of the pressure. The entries are garbage noise from my brain mixed with some formatted statements of accomplishments. Any kind of positive streak I have going gets a mention. It helps to not feel like the chaotic anxiety and noise bomb that I often can be to people.
Meds help, but they change things. Adderall makes me high and obnoxious until I crash. Concerta makes me mean and unable to transition. I worked in mental health for a long time and didn’t like what I saw happen to people with strattera, so I haven’t tried that one. Vyvanse gives me the push and focus without the hyper focus or mood crash. My emotions seem like my own. That’s why I stuck with it.
There are areas that your ADHD can thrive. You are allowed to indulge in those. You can forgive yourself for being extra weight for the people you love at times.
If your life affords you any room for it, be outside and find any way(s) to create. Cook, sing, write, play ping pong… ADHD does offer some areas of excellence along with the deficits. Lean into those whenever and however you can.
It’s still the world. It still actively hates you. We've got to get through this life somehow though.
Vyvanse takes the cake for me, easy. But which brain meds work for you is heavily dependent on your particular brain chemistry.
Otherwise, obsessive usage of alarms and reminders is the best crutch I’ve found to remain somewhat productive.
There are two things that really help(ed) me:
Starting to smoke weed daily, while moving to another city: It made me find out what has always beed wrong with me, and so I came to the diagnosis.
Writing everything down, in a way my brain understands. I use a project management app, called Logseq, for that.
Adderall. There are, of course, some trade-offs. Having gone so many years without any kind of medication, though, it's a night and day difference.
I feel like my memory recall is so, so much better with it. When I'm off meds, I often find myself in a mental fog, struggling to remember details spoken to me moments ago. It's like I'm constantly trying to hold onto a thought, as it's rapidly slipping out of my grasp.
I still have to rely on the productivity methods that work for me. I obsessively take notes and make lists, because I would be totally lost without either. I'm slowly making lifestyle changes that are helping me overcome almost 20 years of clutter.
Swimming, I don't know why it works or how it works. Regular swimming stimulates me, even though 100 things don't go well in a day one small thing of swimming somehow works
Meds. Tried a bunch before I found what worked for me. Stimulant side effects and efficacy and availability lessened over time. Straterra did not work for me. Guanfacine is going well.
Just accepting that it was really affecting my life. After that I went and got therapy and meds. Really helped me learn how to handle myself. I'm a better person because of it.
I take focalin and it's the only medicine that has worked for my ADHD.
As for non-medicinal things, I started volunteering recently and my goodness has it helped. I water and groom horses at a stables and it leaves my brain and body refreshed for days after.
A good therapist using evidence based techniques.