this post was submitted on 09 Aug 2024
748 points (94.4% liked)

Greentext

3948 readers
870 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 11 months ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] grandma 136 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

> be me

> live in a relatively new part of town in the Netherlands

> bike 20 minutes to the city center

> no hills or mountains because netherlands

> See almost no cars because most bike routes are completely seperated and shorter than car routes

> Park my bike in a surveilled parking area funded by the city

> Do all my shopping for the day and return

> MFW my friends and family don't even realize how good we have it

[–] zalgotext 28 points 1 month ago (2 children)

So how easy is it for an American to move to the Netherlands? Asking for myself

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 month ago (14 children)

If you are skilled labor, yes: https://www.expatica.com/nl/finance/taxes/the-dutch-30-ruling-explained-101641/

But what @abbadon420 said is equally true. Housing market's fucked beyond belief. Now, if you want to WFH and live out in the sticks, you'd be set.

[–] Tar_alcaran 10 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Or you'll need to bring like 500k. No, that's not a joke.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (13 replies)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I guess it's easy enough, but good luck finding a house.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

Scooby-Doo and the Case of the Missing Houses

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 97 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (10 children)

1 gal of gas: ~29k calories - $4.609
~29k calories of rice: ~$600 <-- sus math btw 🤔

It's simple: drink the gas.

 

okay, update:
my math was wrong. new cost of rice: ~$11.5 (ordering in bulk)

CONCLUSION
Drink the gas.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 month ago (1 children)

100 grams of raw white rice is 365 calories, meaning that it's about 3650 calories per kg. 29k calories of rice is 8 kilograms.

Where are you buying rice that it costs $75/kg???

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I did my math wrong lol

Found some at 66c/lb. Need 17.5 lbs. $11.5 👌

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 month ago (2 children)

If you drink a whole canister of gas, that's enough to cover your nutritional needs for the rest of your life!

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (12 children)

Yeah but I don't have to carry an actual ton of weight on my bike.

Except when I'm taking yo mama home after date night

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

stfu nerd
My mom has lost a ton of weight and im v proud of her 😡

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Okay I'm sorry that was mean

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (11 replies)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Taking this further, that $4.60 of gas will power the most efficient car for about an hour.

That $12 of rice is enough energy for you to power your bike for like 50 hours.

Conclusion: Just drive your car. Do you really want to waste 49 hours on your bike? /s

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

If you bike regularly, you actually don't spend more calories. You only see calorie burn uptick when first taking on new exercise, which falls off over time back to your usual normal calorie cost. Because of this, that calorie cost for a biker is calorie intake they'd already consume even if they didn't bike. It's essentially free, in contrast to the gas of the car which is always a cost.

Checkmate liberal. /s

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (4 children)

You can't convince me of free energy

NICE TRY SCIENTOLOGY

load more comments (4 replies)
load more comments (5 replies)
[–] [email protected] 74 points 1 month ago

Actual unironic gigachad moment

[–] [email protected] 54 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

And park directly in the immediate front of the building I'm visiting. No circling around and around without finding a space to park my overly expensive rust box. Just arrive, lock the bike to a post and be there.

Totally different experience in that aspect alone.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

Hm... Is there any law that says I can't ride my bike in the store? 🤔

Sure would make shopping faster.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 52 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (6 children)

Be American

Living paycheck to paycheck

Need job

Good worker

Work overtime when needed

Trying to pay off car

Smug biker does a driveby near open car window

Rethink my life

Realize U.S. infrastructure often requires vehicles

In middle of daily 40min commute, one way

Realize the same distance on bike would be two hours

Depresso

[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 month ago (16 children)

This is why we need good public transit on top of good biking infrastructure. The two working together let's you get anywhere a car can go while not taking a lot longer.

load more comments (16 replies)
load more comments (5 replies)
[–] [email protected] 50 points 1 month ago (1 children)

> be me

> be downtown on bicycle

> actual protected bike lanes

> zipping past hundreds of people that decided to drive for some reason

> bumper to bumper traffic

> road capacity literally maxed out

> honking and yelling at almost every intersection

pic related

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 42 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Be me

Download Pokemon Go

Start running to work

Gotta catch them all

4 months later run a 50K

"What was your training like?"

"I dunno, run more?"

(true story back in 2022)

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago

Bro pokemon WENT

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (2 children)

You might want to check out walkscape to run even more

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (4 children)

Ngl, I have a nice ass and legs. Nice compliments, too! It's worth it to bike everywhere if your city allows it

I forgot to mention that the cost of repairs is also dirt cheap here.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'll let these babes do the talkin'

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago

Given that's a greentext, legitimately expected anon to somehow get injured or killed by some not paying attention driver on unsafe road or something. Glad he didn't.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I do think it's funny that America has the worst traffic in the western world, yet in Europe we can get by just fine with roads built by people that even the Romans considered to be ancient.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

That's because Europeans invest in all forms of transport, so you don't get people who can't fathom the concept of taking any trip from point A to B in anything other than a car.

Edit: not sure why I'm getting downvoted. I think Europe does it way better if that wasn't obvious

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Would be great if Europe actually invested in all forms of transport. Where I live, the rail system is run into the ground instead of getting maintenance and expansion.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

Yes, but you have a rail system.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

It has to be said that people from one place underestimate the other...

In Europe, 100 miles is a long distance.
In America, 100 years is a long time.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (4 children)

My job is 18 mountainy miles away, and when I show up drenched in bicycle sweat everyone in the office says I smell bad

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago (6 children)

People shouldn't live that far away from their workplaces. They didn't used to, before we invented shitboxes.

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (5 children)

You could get a decent e-bike?

load more comments (5 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (4 children)

Me unironically wanting to do this

100F outside most of the year because Florida (that's 38C for you europoors)

Have to wake up at 4am before sunset to be able to ride at all

work at 9

Can't into roadbike :(

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (6 children)

I always wanted to learn how to ride a bike. Always looked like fun.

load more comments (6 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›