this post was submitted on 05 Aug 2024
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Facepalm

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[–] [email protected] 103 points 1 month ago (2 children)

When you hear the buzzer, stare at the art. You should now feel mentally invigorated.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 month ago

If you suspect staring at art has not provided the required intellectual sustenance, reflect briefly on this classical music.

[MUSIC INTERRUPTED BY BUZZER]

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[–] [email protected] 82 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (6 children)

This looks like, and “Wellness room” sounds like, a gender neutral term for a lactation room.

The description in that Wikipedia article sounds much nicer and more elaborate than what we actually had at my last office.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Also sounds much nicer than "crying room" or "panic attack room"

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 month ago

This hangs outside at the door:

[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 month ago

That all sounded very wholesome until Wikipedia mentioned that it was instead of maternity leave...

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (6 children)

Precisely what this is, with the added benefit (to the company) of being used as a prayer room or other various employee needs.

Converting storage to these private/meditation/wellness (corporation dependant branding for them) rooms has been very common.

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[–] [email protected] 50 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

My former employer had a relaxation room that looked like this.
It was sound-proof and had a massage chair in it.

The door to the room was within direct line of sight of the boss's desk.
I tried going in there once, but the boss called me over and gave me more work.

[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 month ago

Your former boss is an asshole.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 month ago (2 children)

It was sound-proof

Ah. The Scream Closet.

but the boss called me over

Ah, the ol' Sci-Fi classic: I Have A Scream Closet, But I Cannot Scream.

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[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 month ago (2 children)

This is some real life Severance shit.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I might be into it though if Reileen Kawahara will come in and tell me what a good boy my Outie is.

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[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The first thing I did the moment I saw this was imagine seeing this in Portal, and hearing GLaDOS say something like "Welcome to the Aperture Science wellness room, where test subjects can de-stress after a long day of testing"

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

"Please commence relaxing."

BZZZZZT

"You should now be rejuvenated."

[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 month ago

Severance-core

[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 month ago (4 children)

im almost certain this is a breastfeeding/pumping room, but given a neutral name

Either way, it seems like a nice place to take 10 and scroll on my phone for a minute so i support it

the real question would be what sort of limitations does your employer have around it?

Ive worked at places that had ping pong tables and videogame stations in the break room but if you only get a 30min break for a 8 hour shift when are you meant to use these "happiness and welness" facilities

[–] ironhydroxide 13 points 1 month ago

when are you meant to use these

You aren't. They are solely there to provide a chance for HR to claim it's awesome slaving for this company, either as a hiring lie, or as a retention lie.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

I love how some forms of inclusion can be so multiple purpose.

I absolutely can believe this started as a breastfeeding room but it easily doubles as social-break room for autists/introverts.

This one even has room to pace back and forth, thats like all i am doing when i am really stressed.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

At my workplace, you really just use them whenever. I'm a developer and we are encouraged to change environments when we are stuck or working on solving a problem. Or any time you just need to recalibrate your brain for 10-15 minutes.

Obviously, you can't just sit there all day, but sometimes we like to go there when others go for a smoke break. And sometimes nothing works and everything is annoying, then you can just say: "I'm gonna take 10 and come back with fresh eyes".

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago (2 children)

The chair gives +15 comfort and the painting gives +20 inspiration and if there's at least one empty tile next to it the effect covers a 50m radius so I don't see the problem???

You pepper a few of these on every floor and as long as you don't overuse Crunch Time, this will carry you through the midgame with basically zero upkeep.

Wellness rooms are OP if anything tbh.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Hit space to talk

"um. that was a jump. you're jumping."

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago

Place I used to work at had a room labeled "Safe Space" that I can only assume was mandated by corporate because the store manager hung a framed photo of a snowflake on the wall in it. He wasn't there for very much longer, wonder why?

[–] MustardCabbage 23 points 1 month ago

By Terraria rules, that's a house fit for a princess

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago

Why aren't people enjoying the wellness ~~closet~~ room? I specifically requested it.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Looks like a Dwarf Fortress bedroom

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

is upset because his bedroom does not have a cabinet or a chest

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago

I used to hide in a literal storage room when i worked at walmart (I wanted to be away from all people on my breaks). At least this has a comfy chair.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago (2 children)

How am I supposed to jerk off in there?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago

I am an engineer that does power design for commercial spaces. These "wellness" rooms show up a lot. They are there simply so your corporate overlords can tick a little box under "workplace atmosphere" and add it to the list of bullshit features on their website no employee ever actually uses. It's very similar to "mother's rooms", only those can be considered code compliant based on your location. Sometimes they are also called "phone rooms."

I think architects upsell them into designs to boost their self esteem.

It's a lot like when old apartment buildings gut a storage room, put a few pieces of shitty gym equipment in it, and then add "on site fitness center" to the website, and also tack a small monthly fee on your rent.

If I had a dollar for every existing office space I've surveyed that ended up just piling office supplies in them, or found them covered in 3 inches of dust... I'd probably have like $100. Not a ton, but enough to definitely make them seem ridiculous.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago

The design is very human.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

When what you really need to relax is the comfort of white noise from the air ducts in the walls, florescent lighting and a sense that not only does time not pass, but it doesn't even exist. Enjoy your mental health liminal space, employees.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

I would non-ironically love it. Especially with a door locked from the inside. It just looks comfy and calm. Or maybe I just enjoy the ambiance of the toilets, dunno.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago (2 children)

It's a literal requirement in many commercial buildings. They're for breastfeeding in the code of many municipalities, but you can't call them booby rooms so they're "wellness rooms". A commercial space I was looking at required 2 nursing/wellness rooms because of the size. For a team of 10 dudes. Ridiculous

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

A commercial space I was looking at required 2 nursing/wellness rooms because of the size. For a team of 10 dudes.

The premise of these rules is that they apply regardless of gender, in order to avoid incentivizing an all-male office specifically to avoid regulations. Now, if you do decide your company doesn't need to be a pure sausage fest, you won't be on the hook to build out a new room specifically to accommodate someone of the opposite gender.

And, in the meantime, you've got a space to take a private phone call or pop an advil and close your eyes for a minute, if you feel the need.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

You need to fit all the requirements, regardless of the current composition of your company. Are you saying that you will never hire women? If a woman interviewed there, she would be put off by the lack of accomodations.

2 rooms is a bit much for 10 people, but one is totally understandable if you ever intend to hire women.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

When you feel well, go there.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

That's where your wellness goes to die I believe

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

To be fair, this is the perfect room for Eustace from Courage the Cowardly Dog. It's just missing a TV and a newspaper.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

If you pad the walls with sound proof material and allowing people to scream and shout till their lungs burst, then it becomes a real wellness room

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

I remember this scene from Severance.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

It's the existential dread room.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

Looks like I took a wrong turn in the Stanley Parable

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It’s almost complete… just need to add a camera.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Why do these rooms that are supposed to be good for your mental health always look so vapid and empty? Pure white walls and black sofas are depressing to me.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (5 children)

They help with sensory/stress/emotional overload by purposefully being understimulating. Think of them as a nice quiet and secluded place to collect your thoughts and help your mind calm down/relax.

Edit: (stupid autocorrect)

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

They don't want you to use them.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

To be fair, I'd be absolutely vibing in a room like this. Probably wouldn't help a panic attack though.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

straight out of The Stanley Parable

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