this post was submitted on 24 Jul 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 207 points 4 months ago (6 children)

Good general advice: do not hit on people when they are at work.

[–] Quacksalber 78 points 4 months ago (4 children)

Eh, what is he supposed to do then? Creep around until she clocks out? Just give her the space and agency to disengage. Give her your number on a piece of paper. And don't make it awkward if she doesn't respond.

[–] brbposting 53 points 4 months ago

But don't leave time for a response! Hand the paper over as you drop a one-liner (“would love to grab coffee sometime!”) on your way out.

Note to others:

A small fraction of the population will still have their days ruined even by such an unintrusive approach, but to ensure we never bother a single soul we’d need never to interact with anybody. We certainly have to be VERY careful with captive audiences which is why end-of-transaction + departure approaches are a necessity, whereas there’s no such mandate in a nightclub: they’ll have to deal with it if you offer to buy them a drink and, after declining, they still see you on the dance floor later.

You don’t want to absolutely restrict humanity from basic social interactions, and you don’t want to force humanity to offer a social response when they can’t leave from somewhere they’re being paid to be (with pressure to offer good service/be pleasant). There is a happy middle ground.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 4 months ago

This is the way to do it. I used to work retail and it worked with me twice, on the receiving end. As other commenter has said do it on your way out, it's mortifying having to help a customer after/while they're hitting on you, specially if you're super shy as myself.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago

n? Creep around until she clocks out? Just give her the space and agency to disengage. Give her your number on a piece of paper. And don’t make it awkward if she doesn’t respond.

leave a note with your number and the greatest pickup line

[–] OneWomanCreamTeam 36 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Eh, it depends. If you've only ever had customer service interactions with them don't. But if you've actually have a human dynamic it's very different.

I have no end of creeps hitting on me at work. But there was this one customer who I would just chat with every time they came in. Nothing really flirty, but it was a really welcome distraction from work. Eventually they asked for my number, and it wasn't weird at all. We even have a date planned tonight.

[–] zalgotext 24 points 4 months ago

Best of luck on your date, OneWomanCreamTeam

[–] festnt 12 points 4 months ago

good luck on your date

[–] [email protected] 34 points 4 months ago (2 children)

should go without saying but also: don't imply you're going to chop them up and eat them either.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

... don't people hate it when you lie though?

[–] festnt 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

unless you only want to date people who like vore!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

"What r ur opinions on vore?"

[–] [email protected] 24 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Would it be more or less creepy to wait for them outside to get off work? 🤔

[–] [email protected] 16 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Just stand outside looking through the window so you can see when she clocks out.

[–] festnt 7 points 4 months ago

plus if she sees you through the window she won't get scared when she comes out

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago (3 children)

That's what I've always lived by. But goddamn this dude at getgo is so hot. Haven't said anything yet cause he working but ugh

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

I can only speak for myself, but as a guy I would 100% love getting hit on by someone while I was at work.

But then again I literally never get hit on by anyone because basically I'm a balding peewee herman not much taller than Danny Devito so that might have something to do with it lol

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

I would 100% love getting hit on by someone while I was at work. (...) I literally never get hit on by anyone

Same here. I won't comment on my absolutely amazing and fantastic body features, however

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago

You could simply ask for a receipt. Quickly jot your number with a little heart. "Would love to get to know you!" And leave it at that. If he calls he calls otherwise he just throws the receipt in the trash and forgets about it.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago (1 children)

oh shit is getgo only in Pittsburgh?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

I've really only seen them South West of Pittsburgh despite giant eagles being more common.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

This. They're already stressed enough as it is dealing with normal everyday work stuff. Don't throw anything completely unexpected at them. They don't need that.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 4 months ago

Why won't women go out with me? My car's not nice enough, that must be it...

[–] [email protected] 34 points 4 months ago

"sorry, I'm not into vore"

[–] [email protected] 19 points 4 months ago

Never thought I would see such a great dating tip on 4chan.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] RVGamer06 2 points 4 months ago
[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 months ago

Warms my heart seeing anons looking out for each other

[–] Varyk 13 points 4 months ago (2 children)

"the only red thing"?

Whaaat? Does that mean?

[–] [email protected] 47 points 4 months ago (3 children)

She's a red head. It's "on my burger" that doesn't make any sense.

[–] brbposting 7 points 4 months ago

Feels sexual (burger -> meat) or cannibalistic (it is 4chan after all).

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Indeed, the line should read "the only thing I need on my meat."

Cause in addition to objectifying the person just doing their job and not realizing that they are being low key stalked by a loser with no respect for them by calling them a "thing", OP needs to use the right descriptor to refer to his penis and a flat cooked patty just doesn't fit the bill.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea 0 points 4 months ago

Better go to Wienerschnizel instead.

[–] Varyk 3 points 4 months ago

Oh sorry, thanks.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 months ago (1 children)

She's a redhead, but still a bad joke

[–] Varyk 0 points 4 months ago

Thanks, I must have glosed over that extremely important piece of text and then made a point not to read it again haha

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago

how many $$$ says she a minor

[–] _core 6 points 4 months ago

If you hate fats food, why are you in the drive-through?