this post was submitted on 30 Jun 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 4 months ago (5 children)

Die Mart sounds really metal, I wonder what they sell there

[–] [email protected] 46 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 4 months ago

You can only get one though.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 4 months ago

It's actually just a German superette. Bit of a red herring

[–] pacmondo 19 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Its just german, it says "The Mart"

[–] [email protected] 15 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Oh, you mean like that loveable scamp Bart Simpson?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Nobody who speaks German could be an evil man!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

Natürlich!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

Machine tools, but only half. Taps are in a different shop.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Wouldn't kill you, or if it's enough to do so, it wouldn't be very fast. You need the potassium to be injected in a vein to work, intermuscular injections don't absorb to the heart fast enough. It would, however, fucking HURT and cause potential necrosis and amputation.

Now imagine what botched lethal injections are like.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Tit loans please.

Can I loan a pair of DD's for a few weeks. I'd like to see how they suit me.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Spongebob narrator voice: moments laturr...

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Those are like K or L cups lol.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 4 months ago (2 children)

No, K cups look like this:

[–] [email protected] 18 points 4 months ago

Last time I send you bra shopping!

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)

Several years ago my friend sent me a photo of a local Brake Check location down the street from his house at night with some of the letters burned out so that it said Bra Check. This post prompted me to ask him if he still had it so that I can make my first Lemmy post.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago (3 children)

And? How is your first post coming? It's been five hours. Is your friend OK?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

No word yet.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

do you mean brake check? did the brake check sign break?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

Yes. Fixed. Fingers moved faster than my brain.

Thanks for the heads up!

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Is that the gas station from my house.wad?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

Could be, gotta check if the Slurpee machine gives you 200 health.

[–] captain_aggravated 13 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I'm a guy, I'm already damned to tit loans. I only get to borrow tits for awhile.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

Try growing your own at home with this one weird supplement (estrogen)

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago (1 children)

There is a shoe store where I used to live named Red's Shoe Barn. I was always hoping the correct lights would fail to make their sign read "ed's hoe Bar". To my knowledge it never happened, but I don't know.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

If it doesn't happen on its own, you might have to help a little...

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago

I would pick hell, people have told me to go there, so I'd check out what the fuzz is all about.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago

Yeah, that's a definite ass world for me, because whilst I might visit tit loans out of curiosity, ass world is where I am sure I would want to go regularly.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)

The spacing between tit and loans makes me think it is two separate features of this locale.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Read the room, pal, some people are choosing Ass World.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Oh I can read the room, and the room needed a bonk

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

You didn't bonk the room, though. You bonked me.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

My mind cannot process this picture so I'm choosing to block it out.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago

Image Transcript: Sexy lady lets you put one dollar bills on her while convincing you to sign off on a 4% 8 year auto loan (fine print says compounding quarterly).

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

That might explain why there is a Hell in Michigan.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

and light/pale in German (and it's ilk).

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago (3 children)

Hell looks awfully familiar... Something about happiness.

[–] ramius345 3 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

Ding ding ding. What a mindfuck it was.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago (3 children)

Something something fight club, no wait that’s not right

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Hell looks like a warm gun? 🤔

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

Only if it's the BFG9000.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

Tit loans for sure, I could use a bit of a bust boost

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

I remember a shoe store called dsw shoes had an S burned out so it was just dsw hoes. which makes more sense because dsw stands for designer shoe warehouse so why add an extra shoes at the end to make it designer shoe warehouse shoes

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

I'm tryna penetrative. Slide smooth into them cheeks... so hell it is.

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