this post was submitted on 18 May 2024
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I absolutely love milkshakes. I just wish they loved me more.

Is this what god feels like?

#lactoseintolerant #funny #joke #showerthought @showerthoughts

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

I'm so glad that the only thing my body is intolerant of is intolerance. I can have all the milkshakes and cheese I want, as long as they're not fascist. 🀀

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Chug some lactaid before and after ftw

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

Unless they have other forms, isn't Lactaid a pill? I have some in my cabinet...

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Lactase enzyme tablets are relatively cheap and easy to carry at least a few around at all times

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago (2 children)

@jqubed

for some items they work well with, but liquid milk is a roll of the die for me...

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Check the pack it should give you a recommended tablet limit. The ones I get are 1 glass of milk wich makes it fine for 99% of things.

It might be milkshakes bring all the boys to your yard and you need an additional tablet.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I have to eat 6 tablets if I eat ice cream. If I don't, it's three am vomiting for me. :/

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

That sounds like something else. Never had vomiting caused by lactose intolerance before

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

That’s a good point since I think the lactose intolerance becomes an issue in the intestines. The person you’re replying to might want to consult with a doctor.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

I remember seeing this back on Reddit a while ago, but you may be Casein intolerant rather than Lactose intolerant, it's less common but the same effects. Some dairy products have more Casein than Lactose.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

These just seem to delay the inevitable for me, with wicked cramping in the meantime.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Just use literally any other kind of milk other than cow milk? πŸ€”

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

Sure, but if someone really loves milkshakes and they find a specialty ice cream place that doesn't do non-dairy, they'll just have to walk away either disappointed or filled with toots

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago

We are all malted milkballs in god's regretful milkshake

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

I make homemade ice cream. I have made lacrosse free ice cream for people several times. You need to find lactose free whipping cream and lactose free table cream but once you do you're golden.

500 ml 35% whipping cream

1 L 10% table cream

1 1/2 c granulated sugar

1 tablespoon vanilla extract

(Sorry I'm Canadian, that's how we measure things.)

Dissolve the sugar in the table cream. (It's hard to dissolve that much sugar in whipping cream.) Once the sugar is dissolved add the whipping cream and vanilla and stir to mix.

That's your base.

Put it in your ice cream machine and make it into ice cream. Put it in a container and freeze it hard.

If you like milkshakes throw a bunch of the ice cream you made into a blender, add lactose free milk until it mixes nicely, then add an once of your favourite bourbon. (Or don't. I fucking love bourbon milkshakes)

Enjoy.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Man, I remember back in my day these came with a whole life long journey leading to acquiring the recipe. Now they just give them away!

/s

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

Sorry. I could write a novella of you like.

[–] Imgonnatrythis 5 points 3 months ago

Ohh, haven't touched one in years. Of all the dances I am willing to dance with dairy, this one is sadly verboten.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

It's a cleanse

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

They bring all the boys to the yard

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

I have to say that I have mixed feelings about the Ninja Creami blender-style ice cream maker compared to a churner. But holy shit it makes perfect milkshakes with near zero effort. Makes it completely worth it.