this post was submitted on 20 Apr 2024
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[–] [email protected] 46 points 4 months ago (4 children)

The fuck aren't we growing these kinds of bananas everywhere in overly exploited republics and then importing them into the US? Fuck the gros michel, fuck these petty banana snack foods, I want a banana that I can eat as a meal.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 4 months ago (2 children)

We picked the Gros Michel (before it got decimated by Panama Disease) and now the Cavendish because they can be mass grown, harvested before they are ripe, shipped around the world with minimal special handling, be ripened locally, and can survive all that without getting blemished.

While there are plenty of other bananas, really only those varieties could do that. Bananas cost less than a buck per pound. Other varieties would have to be shipped by air with special handling and cost many times more.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago (2 children)

I'd like to just grow a tree in my backyard. But I don't live in the right climate. Or have a backyard.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago (2 children)

I live in the Midwest, and had a coworker with a banana plant (I think a Cavendish). He cut it down and dug up the root ball to bring inside every winter. Every few years, the weather was warm enough long enough the thing actually made bananas.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago

They need a small greenhouse for it. Leave it where it is, put weed block down 8'x8' Get 3 45deg top fittings for fence rail pipe 10' long 2 8' 2x4 boards

Make tall triangle greenhouse using the pipes for the 6 legs 4 feet apart.

Use the 2x4s on the inside to hold the pipe spacing and structure

Cover in greenhouse plastic.

Go bananas

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago (2 children)

lol

"Put out the cat and bring in the BANANA TREE."

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago (2 children)

I feel like the solution is probably more local banana

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

We all dream of thicc local bananas.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago (5 children)

It’s a tropical fruit. It doesn’t grow well in temperate areas.

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I want a banana split with one of these bad boys like a bread bowl.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

Putting the boat in banana boat

[–] eestileib 26 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Gros Michel is long gone, it's the Cavendish that we're about to lose.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Only a 1 in 1000 chance though.

Time to boot up Balatro again.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago (2 children)

The Gros Michel isn't extinct, just hard to find.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)

I imagine less sweet and with the dry tang of an overly ripe banana. I imagine by the end of consuming some you're no longer interested in eating this kind of banana again.

They're more than likely not new, so we can assume there's some other reason they're not as good. Taste is the most obvious factor to be the culprit.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago

It's more likely they ship poorly. Same reason the tastiest tomato or strawberry varieties are not the ones grown commercially.

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[–] [email protected] 40 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Do they taste better tho? The bigger the fruit, the more bland they are in my experience.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Depends if there was proper selection for taste. In Spain they have delicious big watermelons and melons.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

The big melons he tells you not to worry about.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Good point. Just look at the raspberry and the pineapple.

[–] vaultdweller013 25 points 4 months ago

Pineapples are a spieful flora that tries to digest everything else. Shame for it us humans are into that shit.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Well not like that its about some big pineapple and small pineapple not entire different things

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[–] [email protected] 39 points 4 months ago

Jesus.

Imma be single forever.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Cab anyone attest to how these things taste? And is it possible to get one outside of Hawaii?

[–] [email protected] 20 points 4 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 20 points 4 months ago (3 children)

Yeaaaah that's $177 for a banana, I'm good

[–] can 17 points 4 months ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Tbf, you're buying an 8-10 pound box of them, which, according to the images, is more than likely at least around a dozen of them.

Still expensive, but it's somewhere in the ballpark of $10-20 per banana rather than a single $177 banana.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

fwiw it does seem to be for a box of 7-10 lbs, but still

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

Interesting that the flavor profile says nothing about the flavor, only the texture.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago

Here's a video of a family tasting the banana and describing the flavor.

tl;dw: The flavor is similar to Cavendish. One person thought it was sweeter and had "more banana" flavor. One person didn't feel that was the case. The texture was described as "thick and chewy," and not as "fluffy" as the Cavendish. Overall they liked it.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 4 months ago (1 children)

"Hua Moa" just sounds right for a banana that size. I can picture the person that named it making those sounds as a reaction to seeing it, and then just going with that as the name.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 4 months ago (1 children)

"Hua moa" is Hawaiian for "chicken egg."

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (4 children)

If that's true... It's not a very apt name for it. Unless Hawaii has some mega chickens I don't know about.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I mean, there certainly are a shit load of chickens around, but that's a newer development.

Hua can also mean fruit, so it's possible it means "chicken fruit." I'm not sure that makes any more sense, though.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

Could just be cos yellow.

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

With a banana that big it definitely for sharing

[–] [email protected] 19 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)

It is sad that while there are so many interesting banana varieties all around the world, only two of them ship for crap. In addition to cool-sounding fruity varieties, one variety is so starchy it used to be the base starch the diet of local people instead of a grain, how neat is that?

[–] [email protected] 27 points 4 months ago

Forget banana varieties, you're missing so many different fruits that aren't imported just because it doesn't travel well.

I moved to Taiwan and found out there is a completely different avocado that is creamer. There is pineapple that is 10 times sweeter and doesn't fuck up your tongue after a few pieces. You can even eat the core.

Mango season just started and there are 2 different kinds. One is (extremely)sweet and the other is sweet and sour.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago
[–] [email protected] 16 points 4 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Gros michel not looking so gros any more.

[–] clay_pidgin 15 points 4 months ago

Strange name. In ʻOlelo (Hawaiian) that translates directly to "Chicken Fruit". Wonder if the jungle fowl eat it.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago

Fuckit I now welcome the extinction of the cavemdish banana. Bring on the age of megananas

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago

Us gentlemen being outclassed by fuckin fruit. Life is cruel

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)
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