936
the perfect body (mander.xyz)
submitted 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[-] [email protected] 99 points 4 months ago

Carcinisation strikes again.

[-] [email protected] 20 points 4 months ago

Reject humanity. Return to crab

[-] [email protected] 19 points 4 months ago

Move forward to crab

[-] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago

Nonono, sideways

[-] [email protected] 19 points 4 months ago

I just love this word. It has a great claw-feel.

[-] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago

It's perfectly cromulent.

[-] [email protected] 48 points 4 months ago

Why not Zoidburg?

[-] [email protected] 26 points 4 months ago

Zoidberg*

[-] captain_aggravated 12 points 4 months ago

Where does your species go to perform their mating displays?

Same as your species: The beach!

[-] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago

You called?

[-] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago

Graw? 🦞

[-] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago

As if this wasn't posted by Zoidburg!

[-] [email protected] 39 points 4 months ago

Overall sand repellent crotch.

Nose flaps.

Nictitating membrane(s). Heck that solves lots of issues.

[-] [email protected] 17 points 4 months ago

It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

But do you hate it?

[-] [email protected] 23 points 4 months ago

Also crab legs so you can scuttle.

[-] JohnDClay 13 points 4 months ago

Scuttle scuttle scuttle

Zoidberg scuttles into the ocean

[-] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago

Crispr, I am just saying... (as the meme suggests, this is all totally fine, certainly no issues foreseen here, especially if I squeeze my eyes shut really tight!:-P)

[-] jballs 10 points 4 months ago

With Crispr, you can squeeze your anus really tight as well to repel that sand!

[-] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

Sounds like the perfect beach-adapted body to me! :-P Especially if it comes with gills to replace a scuba suit?

[-] Scubus 2 points 4 months ago

Hmm, am I attracted to crabs?

[-] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago

Also the ability to burrow under the sand for protection from predators and the elements.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago

Why just sand resistant anus? There are creatures with sand resistant eye lashes too. I thought anuses already were sand resistant tbh.

[-] [email protected] -3 points 4 months ago

You know you can just steal the post, no one here cares who tweeted it in 2018.

this post was submitted on 12 Mar 2024
936 points (98.9% liked)

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