this post was submitted on 11 Jan 2024
859 points (98.0% liked)

People Twitter

5392 readers
458 users here now

People tweeting stuff. We allow tweets from anyone.

RULES:

  1. Mark NSFW content.
  2. No doxxing people.
  3. Must be a tweet or similar
  4. No bullying or international politcs
  5. Be excellent to each other.
  6. Provide an archived link to the tweet (or similar) being shown if it's a major figure or a politician.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 143 points 11 months ago (14 children)

Meanwhile the boomers built a Lemon Trust Score that says you need to start squeezing lemons from day one to be trusted to make lemonade, so the lemon bank will give you a lemon loaf that takes 30 years to pay back with twice as much juice as any lemon can make. All while the news tells us that outsiders who never had a lemon in their life want to take our juice, but really it's juice lord propaganda against any new juicers.

We are drowning in lemons and can't make lemonade without giving it all away, leaving us with all the labor and none of the juice.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 11 months ago

Shut up and make juice for me or else I'll stop renting my 14th lemon loaf to you!

- Lemonlord

load more comments (13 replies)
[–] [email protected] 101 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (7 children)

Elder millennial here.

"When life promises you lemons as a child and drills into your head the importance of preparing to make lemonade because the lemons are coming and you've got to be ready and get the sugar and the water and the ice ready because you're totally gunna get those lemons and have a lemonade-based future of stability and fulfillment and happiness, prepare to be blamed when the lemons don't arrive."

[–] abraxas 12 points 11 months ago

Makes me cry. The good luck I've had in my life should mean I could retire early. The bad luck I've had in my life means I still have no retirement fund. But at least I haven't gone through foreclosures like a lot of people my generation have.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Don't forget punishing you for spending all your time and money on sugar, ice, water, pitchers, and practice learning to make lemonade.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago

Ufff. This hurts

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 90 points 11 months ago (4 children)

The Silent Generation: "When life hands you lemons... Don't Take the Lemons! GET MAD! Demand life take the lemons back! Ask to see life's manager! Do you know who I am? I'M THE MAN WHOSE GONNA BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN. WITH THE LEMONS.

I've tasked the boys down in the lab to assemble some incendiary lemon grenades."

[–] restingboredface 17 points 11 months ago (1 children)

This is the only version of this idiom that I will ever use or subscribe to.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Is this a Cave Johnson quote or am I misremembering

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Yeah more or less, I wrote it down by memory so a few words might be off.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago

Their parents and grand parents were literally getting into gunfights over worker's rights.

[–] [email protected] 60 points 11 months ago (3 children)

I'm gonna have to say it? Lemons are crossbred between a citron and a sour orange. Life never gave us lemons. We made that shit ourselves.

[–] [email protected] 55 points 11 months ago (1 children)

What I learned recently:

Lemons are a hybrid of citrons and bitter oranges. Which means life never gave us lemons. We gave ourselves lemons and then proceeded to bitch about it.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Hey I'm not gonna bitch about it. In fact, I'mma bitch if you don't give me lemons with my fish & chips for free.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 48 points 11 months ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 41 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Something something Cave Johnson.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago

Something something house something something combustible lemon

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade - make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager. Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons. Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons. I'm going to to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!

[–] thecrotch 36 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Greatest generation: has a lemon party

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 35 points 11 months ago (1 children)

when you thought everything would be easy peasy lemon squeezy but it's actually difficult difficult lemon difficult

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 33 points 11 months ago (9 children)

As a GenXer, i have no idea what "make lemon noises" even means

[–] testaccount789 18 points 11 months ago (1 children)

As a GenZ member, I have no idea.

[–] [email protected] 44 points 11 months ago (3 children)

I thought that was the point. I've just assumed that gen Z realized there's nothing fun left so you gotta make your own fun whether or not it makes sense.

[–] fsxylo 9 points 11 months ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 months ago

I think the joke is that GenZ will do something random and unexpected.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I figured Gen Z is the lemon in this case.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] ThrowawayPermanente 12 points 11 months ago

They're the noises you make while having sex in your lemon suit with an orange you barely know.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Gen x and millennials are flipped here I'm pretty sure. Genx would say "meh" when given a lemon. Millennials would open a startup called "L3monz"

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago

Then you are appropriately interpreting Gen Z.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 29 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Bold of you to assume that life hands lemons out anymore. You have to rent them now.

[–] DoctorWhookah 15 points 11 months ago (2 children)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

Lemon of the month club!

For just $19.99/3.33 weeks, Lemon of The Month Club will mail you a brand new, artisanal lemon from our holistic, natural, hand-plucked groves! And your lemons will come to you pre-peeled, sliced and individually vacuum sealed for MAXIMUM freshness!

Or you can upgrade to the Lemon n’ Rind of the month GOLD club for an extra $9.99/3.25 weeks, where your monthly lemon package will include double the amount of vacuum sealed packages, the standard six lemon slice vacuum packs PLUS the rind so you can zest your lemons like a real professional lemoner!

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 27 points 11 months ago (1 children)

When god gives you lemons, you FIND A NEW GOD!!

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Made with Lightning; REAL LIGHTNING!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago

Why yes, i would like to spend the next two hours binging Power Thirst videos.

[–] RVGamer06 13 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Alright, i've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, DON'T make lemonade!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Make life take the lemons BACK!

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago (3 children)

This is the internet. Don't mention lemons. It makes everybody think of on thing.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

Edit: this is a very difficult gif to search for without ending up with some eye burners.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago

Oh, you lemon-stealing WHORE!!!!

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago

Unless yer a lemon stealing whooorrr

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Hey! Gen Xers! You weren’t forgotten!

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›