this post was submitted on 07 Jan 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] mriormro@lemmy.world 104 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I have some money and don't eat like shit now, why no women?

If your personality's garbage, no woman is going to want to be with you.

[–] rambaroo@lemmy.world 73 points 1 year ago

Nah I'm sure calling science students "stemfags" and generally acting like a 4chan dickwad is super attractive to the ladies

[–] JokeDeity@lemm.ee 5 points 1 year ago

Yeah I eat like shit and have no money but I try to be a decent person so I'm in a 9 year relationship.

[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 81 points 1 year ago (1 children)

“Stemfag” term might be a start.

[–] Zardoz@lemmy.world 25 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Came here to say this exact thing. Crazy to me how people can use weird ass terms like this and not understand why people are put off

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 18 points 1 year ago

Lad in my class was trying to get a girl and was talking about how "that bitch still hasn't replied to my message", and I was thinking that no wonder he couldn't get a girlfriend if that was his attitude. To top it off, she actually did reply several days ago 😂

Same guy also cheated on his previous girlfriend

[–] ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

What even funnier to me is how people think this is how he would talk irl.

Just like people jumping on someone for saying something like "bitches be trippin"

"MaYbE iF yOu DiDnT rEfEr To ThEm As BiTcHeS"

Like bruh yeah I'm really out here only using bitch to refer to women

[–] starman2112 23 points 1 year ago

On the one hand, I agree, people don't always talk in real life the same way they do online. On the other hand, just the mental space where you think "stemfag" is a normal thing to type is enough of a signal that even if you don't say it in real life, you probably aren't the most pleasant person to be around

And I know that things like "stemfag" are part of 4chan's culture, and it is normal to say it there... But isn't active engagement in 4chan's culture enough of a red flag on its own?

[–] SasquatchBanana@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Linguistically and culturally, bitch has been integrated into the English vernacular and the connotation isn't as misogynstic anymore. Stemfag though? You hear someone pull that one out then thst raises alarms.

Plus, if this is the internal process of someone then I wouldn't be surprised it bleeds into their every day life, with or without them knowing.

[–] Roflmasterbigpimp@lemmy.world 68 points 1 year ago (2 children)

One of the best advice how to get a girlfriend comes strangely from Gravity Falls:

"...Listen to me, kid. When it comes to girls always be confident. And be funny, but not too funny. And be kinda annoying, but in a lovable way."

At least that sums up how I got my GF, now Fiancé.

[–] RedditWanderer@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago

And my ~~axe~~ wife!

[–] pineapplelover@lemm.ee 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Why not too funny and annoying?

[–] IWantToFuckSpez@kbin.social 23 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

You want to be funny in a charming way and a bit of a tease (the annoying part). So make the occasional dad joke, tell a funny anecdote, make funny observations and tease her a little bit but not in an insulting way. But don’t go full stand up comedian and spill out your inner clown or Bill Burr, most women aren’t attracted to that at all.

[–] Damage@feddit.it 8 points 1 year ago

Funny, not a clown, you want to appear confident.

Annoying I wouldn't know why, but I guess it could help appearing more natural.

[–] mypasswordis1234@lemmy.world 50 points 1 year ago (10 children)

Why can't Americans just be normal and use the metric system rather than some shit like 5'11 120 lbs? What the heck is that

[–] PatFussy@lemm.ee 39 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Sorry thats 1.8E9nm tall and 8.5 stone. Hope thats easier for you to understand

[–] Sekoia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 47 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The stone isn't since it's not metric but the height legitimately is since I can just drop the e9 and get a reasonable height.

Since, yknow, metric makes sense.

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago (6 children)
[–] frosch 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Well, as the „n“ just stands for „E-9“ it really just says 1.8 m

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[–] Aqarius@lemmy.world 22 points 1 year ago

It's funny, you try and be intentionally obtuse with the nano units, except doing it in metric doesn't work since "1.8" is still there.

[–] thedarkfly@feddit.nl 7 points 1 year ago

Thanks, the nm were useful

[–] Illecors@lemmy.cafe 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That would be five minutes to eleven one hundred irritable bowl syndromes. You're welcome

[–] bhamlin@lemmy.world 18 points 1 year ago

I'll help explain:

5'11 is like 9'11 and describes the sidereal period when he was born.

The lbs in 120 lbs is for Likable Behavior Scale units. He's just saying his brother scored very high and is very likable.

[–] matthewmercury@reddthat.com 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The truth is that all Americans are comfortable with the metric system but we still use Imperial when we know it will bother you.

[–] maynarkh@feddit.nl 11 points 1 year ago (4 children)

You guys crashed a probe into Mars the last time you tried to use metric.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

And yet you insist we keep trying. For shame. What other celestial bodies do you want us to crash into?

[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 year ago

Alpha Centauri

[–] matthewmercury@reddthat.com 7 points 1 year ago

That was one of the times we bothered you.

[–] starman2112 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Yeah but the time before that we put a man on the moon with it

[–] MindSkipperBro12@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

And that’s why Imperial is better, Metric just crashes spacecraft into planets.

[–] fmstrat@lemmy.nowsci.com 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Pretty sure you should blame the British.

[–] starman2112 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Blame the British, both for inventing the system and for being so insufferable that we refused to change to metric along with them

[–] fmstrat@lemmy.nowsci.com 6 points 1 year ago

They didn't fully switch. The chart of measurements used by the British is very.. random.

[–] MindSkipperBro12@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

For you guys, he’s about 5.11 liters tall.

[–] rambaroo@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

It's too late for us, once the end comes and we've split into multiple countries we'll finally have the opportunity for genuine reform

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[–] GluWu@lemm.ee 33 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I feel so fucking old when my birth year starts with 19.

[–] BananaPeal 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Even older when the next digit isn't a 9.

[–] bhamlin@lemmy.world 22 points 1 year ago

Sir, I am going to have to ask you to get off of my lawn.

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[–] moon@lemmy.cafe 26 points 1 year ago

If you're on 4chan, then your personality is immediately a problem. Especially writing green texts and ending things with -fag and considering yourself an adult.

[–] arin@lemmy.world 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Anon drinking too much Andrew Tate cum

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[–] JokeDeity@lemm.ee 14 points 1 year ago

The trick is not being the kind of person that posts on 4chan in the first place, especially with pepes and "fag" terms.

[–] fibojoly 10 points 1 year ago

Abel better watch out!

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