832
Calling out of work (startrek.website)
submitted 6 months ago by [email protected] to c/funny
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[-] [email protected] 133 points 6 months ago

As an employer I would be concerned that my employees aren't bright enough to lie to me properly.

[-] [email protected] 48 points 6 months ago

And that their professionalism is so low they're comfortable dropping f bombs in texts right after lying.

[-] [email protected] 23 points 6 months ago

Eh, depends on how the boss is.

Like, I drop f-bombs in front of one of my bosses, but would never in front of the other.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

I once had a boss who I screamed, "go fuck yourself!" at and stormed out. And then he called me up and begged me to come back.

That guy was a trip to work for in many ways, but when everyone at the office (it was a very small office) ganged up on him to tell him he was being a fuckhead, he would usually see it their way.

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[-] [email protected] 91 points 6 months ago

Pro tip, your hot water tap probably gets to like 120, you can mix it with cold to get 100-103 pretty easily.

[-] [email protected] 57 points 6 months ago

Pro tip: any company that requires you to prove that you are “sick” in order to get a day off is a shitty company. Find another job.

[-] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago

Yea we can call out 8x before getting fired. It doesn't matter the reason. I still have people calling in leaving messages with exaggerated symptoms in their voice and it's like.. Bruh I don't give a shit just don't do it 7 more times so I don't have to fire you.

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[-] [email protected] 31 points 6 months ago

Nah, better just send a pic with 120°

!Bonus points if that's °C!<

[-] [email protected] 11 points 6 months ago

Reply would be: ”You dead yet?”

[-] Patches 4 points 6 months ago

Just don't reply till the next work day.

[-] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago

Pro tip even just cracking 100 isn't really a fever, do something like 101.2 that's a fever, but not high enough to seek medical attention just yet, so there's no having to go to the hospital. A fever of 103 is something you need to checked out urgently to immediately

[-] RoquetteQueen 12 points 6 months ago

It depends on the person. One of my kids goes to 104 every time she gets a fever. It scared the crap out of me the first time but now I know to expect it.

[-] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago

That is absolutely true, but for guidelines sake, that's what we're going for here

[-] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

I'm on the other end. I'm usually between 95 and 97. 101 = I need immediate attention and it's hard to get medical professionals to take me seriously. They ignore me till someone makes a scene and then freak out once they measure my blood pressure. C'est la vie 🤷‍♂️

[-] [email protected] 57 points 6 months ago

Pretty much any smartphone can easily crop images. This is very likely fake.

[-] [email protected] 83 points 6 months ago

You'd think, but the amount of people who "save" pictures on their phones by taking a screenshot that they then don't ever crop, is disturbing.

[-] [email protected] 39 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

The amount of people who save images by screenshotting them instead of downloading the image is also disturbing.

[-] [email protected] 21 points 6 months ago

I find myself blocked out of downloading images more and more.

[-] [email protected] 16 points 6 months ago

And Facebook and messenger saves them in some Limbo where you can never actually locate the files directly.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

Stop using Facebook products.

[-] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago

Sure thing! I'll just tell ALL my relatives and literally all my friends to migrate over. Messenger is the de facto messaging platform where I live, so should be easy.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

I get it. I have friends who won't use anything, so we're stuck using basic SMS to text message between iOS and Android. It's annoying. I hate the ease at which Facebook rolled out messenger and gained mass appeal. It means that people aren't thinking critically about what they're doing.

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[-] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

I mean, even if the number was in the hundreds of thousands, I don't really find it all that disturbing.

[-] Murdoc 6 points 6 months ago

More like just disappointing.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

Depressing evidence of a failing education system.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Tumblr posts are like screenshots from a phone in scroll mode for an entire text book's worth of comments.

[-] [email protected] 38 points 6 months ago

It probably is fake given the response, but I think you underestimate just how stupid people can be.

I have a vendor who takes our simple web form that would remember past inputs to make it easy on them when they use it, but instead prints it out, writes the answers on it with a pen, and faxes it back.

Every. Single. Time.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

As someone who doesn't have to work with that person, this is hilarious

[-] [email protected] 22 points 6 months ago

Someone would do that? Just go on the internet and lie?

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[-] [email protected] 29 points 6 months ago

It's dystopian that so many people don't have unlimited sick time.

[-] sugar_in_your_tea 25 points 6 months ago

Disagree. Any form of "unlimited" time off gets heavy scrutiny. I'd rather have a generous PTO policy than an unlimited one.

That said, it's distopian that anyone needs to send proof of being sick. That's a symptom of a really toxic work culture.

[-] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago

Maybe I've been lucky but in 10+ years of unlimited sick time, I've never been questioned about sick days.

Vacation time I think needs a minimum if you're going to do unlimited, otherwise people aren't sure what to take and may take less.

The worst policy I ever worked under was "limited sick days. Unused sick days get paid out as a bonus at the end of the year". So everyone came in sick to get that sweet two weeks pay at the end of the year.

[-] sugar_in_your_tea 3 points 6 months ago

Yeah, that's awful.

I much prefer a fixed amount of PTO to "unlimited" mostly because the culture of companies that offer unlimited seem to discourage actually taking time off, which can lead to burnout. Obviously every company is different, but I'd much rather have a decent fixed amount of time off vs something where I'd feel guilty for abusing it. I currently get like 3.5 weeks, which is pretty decent for my field, and I'll get a bump to 4.5 weeks in a couple years.

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[-] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago

Right. Those with unlimited PTO take off only what they need, and not the strict number they get. Those with a set amount end up finding time to take off. It’s why companies moved over to “unlimited”. That, and the fact they don’t need to pay out your vacation when you leave.

[-] sugar_in_your_tea 5 points 6 months ago

No, they usually avoid taking time off even if they need it, because they get guilted into thinking it wouldn't be approved or something, or that they'd be passed up for a promotion. Employers do it because it's better for the company, not for the individual.

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[-] [email protected] 19 points 6 months ago

I thought it read 100°C lol

[-] [email protected] 37 points 6 months ago

Lol "Sorry, I can't come in today, I'm boiling into vapour."

[-] [email protected] 13 points 6 months ago

See u in 10.

Does this mean they have a 10 minute commute? I'm kinda jealous lol.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

I had a 10 minute commute at my last job. It was definitely great, but it was also only reachable by car because almost the entire 10 minutes was highway driving and my job was in an industrial park that was only accessible from the highway, so it was car or nothing.

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[-] [email protected] 11 points 6 months ago
[-] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago

That would be if that temperature was in Celsius, luckily it's freedom units...

[-] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

screenshot vs save as

[-] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

I still don't know how I did it, but when I'd fake sick as a child my mom would leave the room for a bit while the thermometer stuck in my mouth, beneath my tongue. I would then breath the "hottest" air I could muster repeatedly from my lungs, believing that it would bring the thermometer up to fever levels... and it always worked.

Did I just have a really chill mom who recognized when I didn't want to go? Or could this absurd method actually trick a traditional thermometer into going up?

Maybe it's best that I don't know, as I have a daughter now and it's important to have her back when she needs needs a fuckin' day.

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this post was submitted on 26 Dec 2023
832 points (95.3% liked)

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