Asklemmy

The actual sprayer nozzle sits towards the back of the bowl and sprays up at an angle so any dripping is going straight down into the bowl not landing on the sprayer nozzle.

It's getting fresh water, not recycling bowl water, I suppose there could be some small risk if Larry has explosive diarrhea all over the nozzle, but its probably no worse than if you have any splashback after using a regular toilet after him. Most of the models I have used also have a self-cleaning feature that will have the nozzle rinse itself (they still do need to be actually cleaned periodically of course)

There is a little bit of splashing, unless you're abnormally small and skinny though most of it is probably just going to get your butt and staying in the toilet, once in a while I'll get a couple drops on the front of the toilet seat and I'm pretty sure that's just over-spray shooting directly between my legs, not poop water splashing off of my ass

I'm going to explain how an Italian bidet works, I don't know if you're referring to some other kind of bidet (e.g. the pressure washers).

You do your thing, then you lightly clean yourself with paper. Don't waste too much paper, just one pass or two will suffice.

Then you get up from the toilet bowl and go on the bidet. In Italy, it's always next to the toilet bowl so you don't have to walk around like a maniac. The best way to sit on the toilet is to "ride it" as if it was a horse (so you face the water).

You open the water, maybe you wait for it to become warm (it depends on the kind of heating system you have in your home, sometimes it takes longer to come out warm). Then you get some soap (we use a specific kind of delicate liquid soap that we call "intimate soap" in Italian). You apply the soap to your private parts and you rinse using the water.

After you've finished cleaning, you dry youself using a personal towel. This is important: you don't share your bidet towel with anybody. We usually use a smaller kind of towel.

And that's how an Italian uses a bidet.

I don't need to defend power washing my butt to you. You need to defend mashing shit around your buttskin through microscopically thin and flimsy sheets of paper to me.

You can get a simple one that goes on your toilet. Turn dial, water hits, you pat dry and feel a million times cleaner. Most people that try them once get it. Just ask yourself if you would use water if you knew poop was smeared on any other part of your body

Can you explain washing your hands? It seems so weird. Doesn’t the water just drip back on the sink? Do you dry your hands with paper after?

What seems weirder is using paper alone to wipe away feces from your body and doing nothing else during a bowel movement to clean yourself. I cannot understand my own countrymen’s aversion to using them. Squirting your asshole with water does’t make you gay.

I mean, you share a toilet bowl with Typhoid Larry already. The bidet isn't going to be worse than that!

And honestly, they're the best thing ever! Sometimes it drips, but that's just like getting out of the shower, except with much less water. You can wipe off the drops with toilet paper, or you can just not bother. I'll do that if I'm going straight to bed for example, or if I'm putting on running gear etc that I'm going to sweat into anyway

I love my bidet. Since the bidet came into my life I feel unclean after using a non-bidet toilet, even after using wet wipes. Imagine never having monkey-butt (an itchy asshole}. No more skid marks either.

Others have described the normal use of a bidet. I'm here to tell you about advanced bidet techniques. The first is learning the mini enema. You need a bidet with a water jet nozzle. Position yourself so the jet hits the bullseye. Slowly raise the water pressure until it starts filling your rectum with water. This is the hard part - relax. Your initial response will be to clinch shut the ol' brown eye. When full, turn off the water and let loose in the bowl. Repeat as needed. This cleanses the rectum and prevents those times when you feel like there's still some poop up inside that won't come out (because there is). It also prevents anal leakage that produces butt butter.

Once you've mastered the mini enema, you can use the technique to battle constipation. Squirt some water in that stuffed up bunghole, fill up, hold it in, stand up, then sit down and enjoy the relief.

It also provides immediate relief from a burning irritated bowel caused by eating Atomic Hot Wings from Wingstop.

Finally, the feminine wash setting is not just for women! After a sweaty workout where you don't have time for a proper shower, use it to wash your balls. That prevents itchy balls and the embarrassment of being caught scratching them.

They are butt showers.

You poop first in the toilet and if it was a messy one you use some paper (not all countries' pipes can handle paper though). Then you go to the bidet and clean there. Let the jet hit your hole and wiggle a bit if need be. Use some paper to dry off. Woman will also wash their privates with the bidet after peeing.

In India and China you also got a hose or just a hose in many places. That requires a bit more finesse due to the risk of giving yourself a shower if you don't aim well. You might even just get a cup which you fill and use to wash yourself manually. You need to carry some liquid soap and sanitizer when traveling in areas that might require this and keep your fingernails cut short. In remote areas it is a hole next to the animal pen and you bring your own paper.

I got a bidet attachment for my home during the pandemic due to the severe toilet paper hoarding that was going on.

For reference I have this one: https://a.co/d/94y5ID3

You use it while still seated so the water drips back into the toilet bowl; no mess there

I do use paper too to dry or further cleaning if needed

If you look at the 3rd picture on the link above you'll see that the sprayer lowers down while spraying and then retracts back behind a guard; I've never seen the guard or sprayer themselves get dirty from general toilet use

No, the water pressure isn't so intense that it would scatter debris everywhere

I first used one at a friend's house and found it does a far better job cleaning compared to just paper alone and would certainly recommend giving it a try

Because it sprays at an angle, not directly up

There are a number of videos on how to use a bidet but one of the best resources is Tushy.

https://www.wikihow.com/Use-a-Bidet

I have no idea about public bidets, but I have a cheap one in my home and there is a "wash nozzle" option which causes it to spray itself down with similar water pressure to what it uses on my asshole.

if you got poop on your skin would you use water or a piece of paper to wash it off

It's a shower, but just for your ass

I have a Toto that has a remote to let me control the flow, and it has a blow dryer for my bum. It’s self-cleaning and also has a heated seat. When society collapses it will be the the object I miss most. Haven’t used a poop knife in years.

Follow up question for those with ass hair: how long does it stay damp?

Dude just get a bidet thing that you can install under your toilet seat. Just get one, don't question it! Best 30 € I've ever spent!

The thing is that with this you don't have to clean your ass anymore, it just does it by itself! You don't have to do anything anymore 💁‍♂️ and it's really not strange to use it. One may think it would feel strange but you'll see. Just get one! Everyone should have one 💁‍♂️😂

Does poo go everywhere when you shower? It's like a small wash for your ass, but the stream is very concentrated so doesn't splash. The water isn't pulled from the bowl, but from the water tank. It gets your ass actually clean, which paper alone never does, you still use like one sheet of paper afterwards. I used one in Japan, and now I'm intending to replace my toilet, it's like the difference between hand washing clothes and using a washer dryer in terms of revolution to me.

its a spray. its like with a water fountain its no issue if people drink from the stream but not if they suck the output (which do to placement can't be done). good ones have hot air dryers.

I don't use public bidets, but the one I have at home I would say is critical to my quality of life.

Very simple, it works just like a sink, only you can sit on it. Some have a hose to make washing easier. Older models shoot water straight upwards like a fountain, but they all have a drain like a sink.

And you wipe first, so whatever falls into the bowl is small enough to be dissolved and passes through the drain.

It's ok to use after Typhoid Larry the same it is ok to use the sink after him. It's not a pressure washer so shouldn't be making a huge mess unless you are particularly clumsy. And btw, they're usually in private bathrooms so unless Larry is your housemate then it's likely just you using it.

How do you not drip back onto it?

I have only used (and own) asian or japanese style ones and its a little jet that squirts at your puckered pink starfish, water drips back into the bowl

Do you use paper too?

Yes, I have a hairy butthole and have to pat dry

How is it okay for me to use the same one right after Typhoid Larry?

Like any other toilet seat? I don't know.

Doesn't poo go everywhere?

No, not for me, anyways.

How easy is it to get your asshole into the stream? Does it spray your butt and you need to reposition?