this post was submitted on 14 Dec 2023
536 points (87.0% liked)

Microblog Memes

5821 readers
2033 users here now

A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

Rules:

  1. Please put at least one word relevant to the post in the post title.
  2. Be nice.
  3. No advertising, brand promotion or guerilla marketing.
  4. Posters are encouraged to link to the toot or tweet etc in the description of posts.

Related communities:

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 328 points 11 months ago (2 children)

If someone dumps me on a first date over my phone than so be it. It actually looks like dodging a bullet.

[–] [email protected] 106 points 11 months ago (7 children)

I'd dump you for not knowing the difference between then and than.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 11 months ago

SpaceNoodle is the real killer here

load more comments (6 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 223 points 11 months ago (8 children)

Men, proudly drag that battered and cracked android phone out on the first date, it's a litmus test for shallow people, apparently.

I went on a first date with a girl I met from work. She farted loud enough to be heard over drunken yelling and music in the steakhouse we were in, immediately after saying "I don't get embarassed".

In a couple of weeks, we will have been together for 16 years. We've been married for 14 years. We cook together every evening, we hold each other whenever we are in the same room for more than five minutes, and on the rare nights where we aren't taking each other's clothes off, we fall asleep wrapped around each other. I would have missed out on a perfect relationship if I had judged her for a phone.

[–] [email protected] 73 points 11 months ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (7 replies)
[–] [email protected] 165 points 11 months ago

the best move is to show your android phone in your profile pics so you don't get trapped with someone so shallow

[–] [email protected] 144 points 11 months ago (6 children)

Holy shit I've got some boomer energy, here:

The reason to not take out your phone isn't because someone might hate on your phone.

You don't take out your phone on a date so that you can be giving that person your full attention.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 11 months ago (3 children)

There are lots of reasons for using a smartphone beyond avoiding engaging in conversation though. Looking things up, sharing contact info, planning another date, paying for the meal/event, even going to a movie can almost require an app.

I'm not saying these would be the majority of the time or anything, but not using your phone whatsoever is more of a limitation than you'd think.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 28 points 11 months ago (21 children)

Yeah, that's my immediate thought as well. Attention is huge.

load more comments (21 replies)
load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 125 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Let's face it: If they were that superficial, they wouldn't have dated me to begin with.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 11 months ago (4 children)

If they are that superficial, you dong want to date them. Use every effective "shitty person" filter you can, as quickly as you can.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 115 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I don’t think I would want to date a woman who cares what phone I use.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 11 months ago

I dunno, I think it would be fun to discuss parts of AOSP my date and I are both familiar with.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 111 points 11 months ago (9 children)

Alternate take: Buy an Android phone and use your green bubble to weed trash people out of your life.

load more comments (9 replies)
[–] [email protected] 92 points 11 months ago (5 children)

Counter-suggestion (and this applies to everyone with an Android regardless of gender dating anyone else regardless of gender), do use your Android phone in front of your date because that weeds out psychos who would reject you over not owning their preferred product.

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] [email protected] 91 points 11 months ago
[–] [email protected] 91 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

These men dodged a bullet.

Better advice: use an android phone to filter out the reactive dipshits.

[–] [email protected] 79 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (12 children)

If a woman is that shallow and materialistic then the guy is dodging a bullet. Anyhow, it's a weird thing to say since "android phone" could mean literally anything from a basic $100 smartphone all the way up to a $50,000 Vertu diamond and white alligator skin. i.e. it could mean the guy is sensible with his money or even more shallow and materialistic than the girl could ever dream to be.

load more comments (12 replies)
[–] [email protected] 77 points 11 months ago (3 children)

This is a feature of android, not a bug. If someone is that shallow and can't consider the possible motivations of using a GASP different phone, they would be a really bad partner.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] captain_aggravated 77 points 11 months ago

I'm 100% okay with being rejected for my Android phone. My dick doesn't fit in women that shallow.

[–] [email protected] 70 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Shit advice. If my date dismisses me because of the phone I use, they are not worth pursuing.

If you are that desperate to get laid that you start tippy-toeing, consider paying a whore. Better for your mental health.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] pancakes 69 points 11 months ago

I feel like using it on the first date is actually better, as a form of litmus test to find out of your date is trash (bad).

[–] [email protected] 68 points 11 months ago (6 children)

Does this really matter that much in the US?. Here in the Netherlands about 70% of people had an android phone in 2022. Nobody really cares what you use, as long as you're happy using it.

[–] ryathal 69 points 11 months ago (23 children)

Apple people are weird, it's best to avoid them when possible.

load more comments (23 replies)
[–] [email protected] 31 points 11 months ago (4 children)

iPhone is dominant in the US, but I can't believe people give enough of a shit about which smartphone someone uses for it to be a dealbreaker in finding a significant other.

load more comments (4 replies)
load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 65 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Men, do yourself a favour.

If a girl ghosts you because of the phone you use, she's clearly too shallow to bother with, and it's worth ghosting her back.


Girls, do yourself a favour.

If you've got a problem that a guy uses a 'droid, you may want to reconsider your priorities.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 64 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, this isn't a thing for anyone worth dating.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 57 points 11 months ago

Why would even want to be with someone so shallow in the first place ? If they ghost over a phone then good riddance.

[–] [email protected] 54 points 11 months ago (6 children)

Is this a thing in the US? Here the only time i care is when i dont have my charging cable with me and im looking for one (although this should be changing)

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] [email protected] 52 points 11 months ago

Sounds like it's just gonna save me some time. If she's gonna be that basic, I have better things to do.

[–] [email protected] 51 points 11 months ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 49 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I had a guy I briefly worked with say he didn't text android phones. I laughed at him and told him that was the lamest thing I've ever heard. I was happy to never have to do anything with him.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 48 points 11 months ago

Sounds like the guys didged a bullet to me.

[–] [email protected] 46 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Does anyone know the diagnosis code for her mental disorder?

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] rarely 44 points 11 months ago (1 children)

They curved the perfect man? Is he no longer straight?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 40 points 11 months ago

Use it right away and dodge a bullet. By the third date she will expect you to buy her $600 wheels for her mac.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 11 months ago (10 children)

Guess that’s like those dating profiles that people post online once in a while where the woman demands a height, weight, and income before they even consider talking to a man. At least that’s up front and honest, even if it’s shallow.

I really don’t understand the social cache of an iPhone. It’s overpriced tech. I’d rather someone say right off the bat that they won’t talk to somebody who doesn’t have an iPhone. No need to deal with someone so superficial and interested in wasting money on shit specifically because they want it for showing off how much money they spent.

load more comments (10 replies)
[–] [email protected] 38 points 11 months ago (4 children)

This is america.

I personally would pull up with the 12.9" iPad Pro to assert dominance.

[–] pancakes 35 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I would be there to make you feel inadequate, making calls with my Samsung smart fridge.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 32 points 11 months ago

Dodged a bullet, I'd say. Anyone who is remotely paying attention to what phone someone's using on a date is....not someone I want to be around.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 11 months ago (8 children)
load more comments (8 replies)
[–] [email protected] 29 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (9 children)

The other day I got unmatched by a girl on a dating app because she wanted my WhatsApp and not a phone number. We literally had already agreed to go on a first date and then she's like "I don't use my phone much so you need to use WhatsApp" and I'm like "I don't have WhatsApp, here's my cell number: XXX-XXX-XXXX" and then she disappeared from my matches on Hinge lol

load more comments (9 replies)
[–] [email protected] 26 points 11 months ago (1 children)

That's it. I'm going to whip it out on the first date.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 25 points 11 months ago

Men, you've just dodged an ICBM.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 11 months ago (1 children)

That's great! I wouldn't date a woman who'd dismiss a person based on the phone they use. Saves time, really.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›