this post was submitted on 07 Feb 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] brbposting 46 points 6 months ago (7 children)

Why did the Bermuda triangle, quicksand, and maybe premature burial and stop drop & roll so capture our minds?

Replace the quarter to call home with swallowing gum or something.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 6 months ago (2 children)

To be fair stop drop and roll is still good advice. You just don't find yourself on fire that often.

[–] xx3rawr 10 points 6 months ago

In fact, it's a good thing that we never have to use Stop Drop & Roll ourselves.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago (2 children)

The one time I did find myself on fire, I completely forgot about stop, drop, and roll. Instead I ran until I stumbled on the hillside, then shouted "am I still on fire?"

Aaand that story is why I no longer fucks with charcoal grills.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Wait you managed to light yourself on fire with a CHARCOAL grill?

Did you put accelerant on it for some reason?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

I certainly did haha

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

Caught my pants on fire from a welding spark and by the time I noticed, it was most of my leg on fire. Didn't even think to stop drop and roll, I just took off my pants.

Couple of points of advice:

  1. Don't wear frayed clothing while welding.

  2. Fire can't be seen through certain welding masks. If you feel warm, lift the fucking mask.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 6 months ago (2 children)

He forgot to mention all the people just giving you drugs to get you addicted

Fuckin’ D.A.R.E.

[–] Corkyskog 14 points 6 months ago

Omg I was so disappointed later on life to find out there are no free drug people. Fucking lame, they said it would be like a costco market.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Even when I got to university and literally all but one of my friends smoked weed, I still wasn't offered any. I don't think my 'friends' liked me that much..

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

Oh man. This is embarrassing, but in college I didn't want to be in any one in-group (I also have some flavor of commitment issue), so I used to push my way into groups and cliques where I wasn't invited. I'd wallow in the palpable social discomfort of "Who the fuck is this?" for quite some time till I got used to it. This was my main way to score "recreational flora". I'd later turn some of them into friends maybe a couple months down the road, but thinking back on this now, I cringe into a black hole.

[–] Unforeseen 11 points 6 months ago

You could also use bees, as long as you had 5 of em. "Gimme 5 bees for a quarter" you'd say.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Ok but spontaneous human combustion still got me shook though

[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Well it doesn't happen. Something that's 70% water can't explode. Have you ever heard of an animal exploding randomly? There's literally no way for it to happen.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago (2 children)

You should stay away from Sodium then I guess.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago

bursting into flames after my 11th Ramen bowl that day

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

Are you my doctor?!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago (2 children)

what the fuck is a kangaroo shoe pocket

[–] brbposting 17 points 6 months ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

I'm gonna look for some of these as my next trainer.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

Bro im aussie and Ive never seen this. They are awesome.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

woah these are amazing! never seen them before!

[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 months ago

Kangaroos (aka "Roos") were these awesome shoes with a little pocket in them.

I got a pair about 13 years ago, long after they'd stopped being popular, and used them to hide my drugs in high school and college. They were awesome until I started hiding really bad drugs in there. Then they were just enabling me.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Also what the fuck is swallowing gum.

[–] brbposting 10 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Rumor has it that if you swallow chewing gum, it will stay lodged in your gut for seven years

[–] [email protected] 12 points 6 months ago

Ah yes of course, just like the apple seeds that grow a tree in your gut.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago

Bad UX decisions is just like swallowing gum because both of them makes me shit myself