this post was submitted on 07 May 2025
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Aaactually salmon can't talk
No, they just don't want to talk to you.
Now I'm sad. Thanks.
You have to give them credit.
That's a comically sick burn
I did.
You're welcome!
That's not true, I caught one the other day who promised to grant me wishes if I let it go. He wasn't lying but the wishes eventually led to my downfall so now I have a hard time trusting anyone even partially aquatic.
Did his salmon friends rob your house while he distracted you with the wishes? Happened to me one time. Just wanna make sure it wasn't the same salmon.
I thought it was bad enough when I got catfished by a salmon but you guys got me beat
Well, at least its better than getting salmoned by a catfish. that was an experience.
Oof thoughts and prayers
A tale as old as time
Last time a fish tried to grant me a wish, I cut its head off, gut, filet, pan sear on med high till throughly cooked and seasoned with a side of fiddleheads. Wish granted.
So, like, a mermaid?
I would definitely never trust a mermaid. Well maybe if they sang the right song.
You just don't know where they stand
I just don't like the fishtail. I'd like the fish part on top with legs.
I think, upon closer inspection, you’ll find that you were actually talking to a large mouth bass named Billy. Excellent singer too.
Wait is this like a classic story? It sounds oddly familiar
I know it as The Fisherman and his Wife
Edit: Updated link to a more prototypical example, a fairy tale as recorded by Grimm.
One of the Grimm's fairy tales.
Source?
You mean sauce? Cream sauce.