this post was submitted on 24 Apr 2025
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Asking this as a Qatari with a polygamous father. My father’s second wife is Swedish and I know it was a tough pill to swallow for her family and friends back home.

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[–] [email protected] 210 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (4 children)

Are your dads wives allowed to have more than one husband? There's your answer.

[–] [email protected] 63 points 1 week ago (3 children)

To add to this: If both men and women are allowed to have multiple spouses (which is the only fair way to do it), how do you deal with situations where a husband has multiple wives who has multiple husbands who also have multiple spouses? This sounds like a nightmare from a legal perspective.

I'm not saying I'm against polyamory, do whatever you want, as long as everybody involved is fine with it. It could work legally, if you could get married as a group of n people but then not marry other people individually. But that's not how polygamy works in Quatar or worked for Mormons. There the husband marries several wives individually and the wives have no say in it.

[–] neidu3 48 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

Imagine if the richest person in the country dies, and it's time to figure out the inheritance for the spouses, and it turns out the entire country is in effect married in a loooong chain.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 week ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

This is not how I envisioned socialism to come by, but I'll take it.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago

Just have a good ol' fashioned fuck-off

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago

Solved with a 100% inheritance tax and UBI

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 week ago (2 children)

My mom had it written in her marriage contract that her consent is required for father to take more wives. She had a decisive say in it.

[–] [email protected] 44 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Okay, my bad. But the fact that she had to have it explicitly written in her marriage contract means that it's not the legal standard and doesn't apply to every other woman in Quatar. And it still only works because she doesn't marry anyone else.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago (3 children)

True, Qatar’s legal system is based on Islam and Islam entitles a man to max 4 wives concurrently. It’s why you can’t explicitly write in your marriage contract that the husband is not allowed any more wives - that’s his right. You can circumvent this by stating he needs your consent instead. In Islam silence implies consent, so if you don’t specify anything about this it’s taken as “my husband is free to take more wives without consulting me”.

[–] [email protected] 46 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

And how could this not be frowned upon by cultures such as Swedish where women and men are regarded as equals?

Edit: It's not about polygamy per se but about the women's role this kind of polygamous marriage. I don't know your family and it might work for everyone involved but that's where her connection's worry comes from.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 week ago

And with that, it shows men are not considered equal to women.

So, in the many countries where women are considered equal, this right of the man only, is not going to fly.

Can she have 4 husbands? If so, I retract.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

The fact that you even have to ask this is a problem.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

Your mom having a say in who the other wives are is not the same as you mom being able to have other husbands.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago (2 children)

To add to this: If both men and women are allowed to have multiple spouses (which is the only fair way to do it), how do you deal with situations where a husband has multiple wives who has multiple husbands who also have multiple spouses? This sounds like a nightmare

That sounds Denobulan, LOL.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

Ha that was my first thought too!

[–] ironhydroxide 1 points 1 week ago

A theoretical way is explained in the book "the moon is a harsh mistress"

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 53 points 1 week ago

Guess that would be a too big pill to swallow eh?

It boils down to misogyny.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 week ago (1 children)

So why do you feel that it's ok for your dad to have multiple wives, but not for his wives to have multiple husbands? Curious.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I want OP to answer this, even though i know the answer.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

So the answer is, "no", but isn't that obvious? That's not much of an explanation really. While pithy it's not very useful.

As others have pointed out, some parts of the West do currently practice polygamy, or have in the past, but the reasons why it's largely frowned upon aren't explained in this response.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago

Christianity in the explanation :)