this post was submitted on 22 Nov 2024
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[–] [email protected] 156 points 2 days ago (6 children)

This is not biblically accurate. She should be naked, since she doesn’t yet have knowledge of good and evil, and god considers nudity evil, because he is a prude. But also he didn’t clothe Adam and Eve, cause he’s a perv.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Also bellybutton shouldn't exist on Adam and Eve.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago (2 children)

How do you think god counted them? Poke a finger in the belly.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

I chuckled. Thanks

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Like poppin fresh?

[–] GhiLA 7 points 1 day ago

or should it...

no, no, a birthing God entity is a gross thought, stop...

[–] [email protected] 51 points 2 days ago

My quip with the artistic choice is that they made Eve have very very long hair which could have served as breast cover. But they chose to add the inaccurate leaves...

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 day ago (3 children)

And the bible never says the fruit was an apple

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Given the era, I wouldn't be surprised if it was actually a fig

[–] EmoDuck 16 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It's the garden of eden so there's no reason to believe that it's a fruit we have. My head canon is that it was a giant, fruit shaped flaming hot Cheeto

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago

So it was a FIG-ticious fruit?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I've never tried to eat bark, do I need the whole dog or...?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

just the vocal cords.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago (2 children)

And snakes don't have human torsos.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

so, something like this?

spoiler___

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

the perfect woman...

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

That demon was turned to a snake after the whole fruit debacle. Jod even gave a speech on how that would be a suitable punishment.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The demon is referred to as a serpent from its introductiom then god removes the serpents legs to make the serpent more serpenty. I blame the author for writing bad and confusing me.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Did you just “um actually” my “um actually”?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

hell yeah brother

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

According to white men can’t jump it was a quince.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 days ago

It's actually just for support, they're pretty heavy

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago

The comic is obviously of a theatre reproduction of the event.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago (3 children)

To be fair they also didn’t have genitals since they can’t Fuck, so maybe they literally have nothing to be ashamed of.

Unrelated but they also shouldn’t have belly buttons because they weren’t born.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 days ago (3 children)

I don't think that interpretation, i. e. the absent genitals, is canon.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 days ago

so NOW we're drawing the line?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

today's kids have the wildest headcanons smh

I still ship mary and god tho

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Get this: there's some people who think it's canon that the serpent is Satan. Just connecting up two characters from different parts of the writing completely at random.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

...then how do they have children? where did Cain and Abel come from?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago (1 children)

...and where did all the people that came after Cain and Abel come from? Who was their mother?

[–] EmoDuck 7 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Cain and Able weren't Adam and Eves only children. Keep in mind that canonically, Adam lived for over 900 years. That's a lot of time you can use to make more babies.

After the whole regicide incident, they also had Seth. Both him and his exiled brother ended up marrying their sisters. Their descendants did the same. So yeah, it's all incest, top to bottom.

The biblical flood was actually created to wipe out the descendants of Cain, since Noah and his cousins wife were both descendants of Seth

[–] [email protected] 1 points 20 hours ago

Damn TIL! So much for my religious education.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Or, if you're of a more gnostic bent, half fallen angel, half human nephilim who'd been teaching humans forbidden knowledge, such as advanced metal-crafting and makeup.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 1 day ago

Still no answer as to where did humans other than Adam and Eve came from.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

No genitals? Where did Eve’s children came from? She shat them?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I don’t know where did Eve come from?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Adam’s ribcage. What? It makes perfect sense!