this post was submitted on 04 Aug 2024
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[–] [email protected] 105 points 3 months ago (4 children)

I have some experience with these. The only problem is that as the vertically standing excrement begins to collapse forwards, there is a chace for it to keep contact and drag its top portion across, from your anus towards the front. You can avoid this with a maneuver, pulling yourself up and slightly forward, right after the singular vertical log begins losing contact with the excretion area.

This is not a joke

[–] [email protected] 37 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Give this person an honorary degree in Turd Dynamics. Have you considered publishing your findings in the journal Nature?

[–] jaemo 10 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Turdonomy AND Turdology, a double threat!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago

The Real Deuce of studies.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago

A.k.a. "Logology."

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I haven't had a nice log come out in decades. Enjoy them while you can.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (3 children)

Males need 37g of fiber daily for optimum health. That's the equivalent of 568g of raspberries or 657g of green peas or 1,154g of broccoli. Might wanna start taking some psyllium husk so you don't get ass cancer.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

37g is still low. A good target to aim for is 100g.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

If your diet is so lacking in fiber that you need to take pills to make up for it, fix your damn diet.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Don't take the pills - the serving size on them is very misleading. You have to take a ton of them to have any effect. Gotta go with the powder.

Nothing wrong with supplementation! It's hard to eat that much fiber (even if your diet is good) due to the relatively low fiber density of most foods. We adapted to our food sources, not so much the other way around, and when we did adapt our food sources to us we were not thinking of maximizing fiber content - and we don't spend all day chewing on fibrous, foraged plants anymore. Plus, psyllium husk is a food. It'd be the same as eating a shitload of flax or something but with fewer calories.

For instance, raspberries are one of the most fiber dense foods at 8g fiber/100g of berries. You'd need to eat 568g to get your RDA of fiber. The avg person eats around 1.85kg of food daily - 30% of your diet by weight would need to be raspberries (one of the most fiber dense foods) to get enough fiber. Even moreso with other fiber-rich foods, like broccoli. You'd need 1.1kg of broccoli each day (8kg/week). The sheer bulk of that amount of food would be challenging for most people and just isn't practical.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

So you eat half a kilo of raspberries, and then the rest of your diet is a juice cleanse? Here an example diet: oats for breakfast (6 g), a sandwich loaded with greens for lunch (4 g), chili for dinner (15 g). Throw in an apple for a snack (5 g). It's really not that hard.

The National Academy of Medicine recommends:

• Women 51 and older: 21 grams of fiber per day
• Men 51 and older: 30 grams of fiber per day

Now your numbers go with 45 g per day, but honestly that example diet would leave me hungry. I'd probably also have a peanut butter and banana sandwich (7 g). Throw in a small amount of berries or raisins into the breakfast oats and we've hit your higher target.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Fair enough! It can be a little harder to hit consistently in practice depending on the level of variety in your diet, if you go out occasionally, etc. In my opinion and personal experience, anyway. But that is a solid and reasonable meal plan without a doubt.

The raspberries example was more an example of if one were to "fibermax" as the kids will be saying in 20yrs. Trying to most efficiently achieve the RDA with the most fiber dense foods possible - not intended as an actual, reasonable diet.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

I gotta figure out a way to trademark "fibermax," the kids will absolutely be saying that in 20 years.

[–] CanadianCarl 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Looks like they are 3.8g per 2 biscuit serving? So like 19.5 biscuits or around 370g.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

Calcium carbonate anti-acids tend to make good logs.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

It's trying to touch your balls isn't it...?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

The Great Mighty Poo's Knight

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Haven't you thought of shitting in a backwards sitting position?

I prefer the kiss of poseidon over the casualities of deforestation