this post was submitted on 28 Apr 2024
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[–] [email protected] 13 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (9 children)

It was beaten into me in school that this is incorrect. “They” is to be used as a plural pronoun only. It’s commonly used in the singular, but it’s wrong according to the English teachers I had. In referring to a person, you must choose either he or she under those grammar rules.

With that said, maybe it’s time for me to move into the future and accept that the meaning of the word has changed. I am confident those English teachers weren’t concerned about actual gender issues. Now, I think those issues are more important than the technical grammatical issues of English.

I’ve offended people in a social setting by insisting that this is the correct usage, when truly it was just me being autistic and informal rather than political.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 7 months ago (3 children)

Perhaps it was the English teachers who were wrong.

Correct or not, people have been using it like that for a while.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singular_they

[–] [email protected] 18 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Fascinating! I didn’t know there was an article about this.

This use of singular they had emerged by the 14th century, about a century after the plural they.

That’s more than official enough for me!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

Singular they has been criticised since the mid-18th century by prescriptive commentators who consider it an error.

  1. Hey, it's prescriptivists again, ruining everyone's day
  2. Look what's actually recent (if three centuries count as recent, but definitely more recent than seven centuries ago)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

My child dresses itself.

"Ma, I'm a boy!"

I adore how callous that sentence sounds.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 7 months ago

It used to be correct APA/MLA formatting to use “he/she” when the gender of a subject was unknown. That was changed back in the mid 00’s I think. The preferred format is now “they” over “he/she”.

That being said, people use singular they/them all the time in casual conversation. We just aren’t used to using it when we know or think we know the gender of the person. But let’s be honest, there have always been people that have been hurt by being misgendered. Hell, it was common for some racists to use they/them with black women in an attempt to dehumanize them. So this idea that the singular they is new is absolutely ridiculous.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago (3 children)

Ok, even there we have bigger issues. How can literally mean figuratively?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Oh yeah, that one is absolutely terrible and I will die on that hill. Figuratively speaking.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 7 months ago

"literally" being used to mean "figuratively" dates back to 3 years after the word "literally" began meaning "actually". If this is a hill to die on, you need to use "literally" exclusively to mean "as written in the texts". Common usage of "literally" to mean "actually" and "figuratively" both date to the 1590s

[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago (1 children)

No one uses literally to mean figuratively. They use it to emphasize regardless of if what they're emphasizing includes figurative language. Nearly every word that means something similar to "in actual fact" undergoes this semantic drift (actually, really, etc).

"She literally exploded at me." is similar in meaning to "She totally exploded at me." Not so much to "She figuratively exploded at me."

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

Nearly every word that means something similar to "in actual fact" undergoes this semantic drift (actually, really, etc).

I looked into this for 3 minutes and found examples in multiple languages.

Neat.

New expression-insight remix into the human condition connected; We literally really actually feel the need to be sure we're understood, no matter the hyperbolic lengths gone to, huh?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Colloquialization. Get enough people using a new word, or existing word in a new way, and it will eventually be added to the dictionary.

I accepted the inevitable downfall of mankind when “unfriend” was added in 2009.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago (1 children)

But fetch still hasn't happened. :(

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch happen. It’s not going to happen.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago (2 children)

I'm curious when and where "singular they" was taught as incorrect. Coming from the Midwest in the 80s (not exactly a liberal or forward thinking place), I was taught in no uncertain terms that singular they was appropriate in many circumstances. And my teacher was old as hell, so her education on the matter probably dated to around WW2.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago

It must not be specifically gated on time. My instruction was rural East Coast. I’ve learned however just from the article posted in this thread that a singular third person has been in use for centuries, even recognized as such an official contexts.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

Someone higher up this thread linked an article that singular they has been in use since the 14th century

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago

It's not correct though, it's a style choice. Just like it's not incorrect to avoid the Oxford comma.

I know a lot of people have a hard on for Strunk & White, myself included, but this is one stylistic choice that is now outdated.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I think of that like I think of the anti ain’t and anti Oxford comma stances. They weren’t entirely correct, they were enforcing the style of the time for educated use of English. Today educated use of English still doesn’t include ain’t, but it does use the singular they for people of unknown or nonbinary gender, and it uses the Oxford comma.

The language keeps evolving and stuff like this is part of that. Hell at one point the singular they was far less controversial than the singular you

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

The exclusion of the oxford comma is a really good example of grammar that's a bit outdated. It's far clearer to use it. Dropping it used to make sense when we used typewriters and ink, but in a digital world it makes no sense.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

Yeah I told exactly one friend it wasn’t proper English and they were so offended. They were. So, so offended.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Yeah, if I recall the English classes from my language institute, They is only plural and the X cannot be used to neutralize masculine/feminine nouns.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Right. And at the same time, language is an evolving practice. New words are created all the time. Maybe, this issue was worth it to change the rules.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

Madness. If you want to use gendered stuff, use one of the romance languages or German.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Why did they teach you this. Your singular teacher. What were they thinking?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

It was like, one different teacher per every two months during a total of 16 months. It was the same in British english