Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

Anon is often crazy.
Anon is often depressed.
Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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Homer (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 8 months ago by sjmarf to c/greentext

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[–] [email protected] 78 points 8 months ago (3 children)

Wait, 2 kids? Which one died?

[–] [email protected] 53 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Three! We have THREE kids Homer.

Three noisy kids. Fish heads, fish heads.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 8 months ago

Dohhh, I have three kids and no money. Why can't I have no kids and three money?!

[–] [email protected] 30 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Marge had a seventh trimester abortion this season.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 8 months ago (1 children)

To be fair, Maggie has been a baby for years. There was probably something wrong

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Years? DECADES.

[–] the_crotch 10 points 8 months ago

Decades are made of years

[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago (1 children)

One's doing time for shooting someone.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

He was acquitted. Turns out the guy was just buried under a bunch of old newspapers. Luckily he was able to free himself using a vacuum cleaner and a baking soda rocket.