somePotato

Remember a few years ago when a teenager took an interstate trip to play cop and threaten black people with a gun?

And then he ended up killing some people and cried a lot in the trial ("I'm the victim" tears, not "I regret murdering those guys" tears)

And he became a conservative star.

Satire doesn't stand a chance against reality

The movies did a great job at presenting thanos as an extremist that sincerely wants the greater good by questionable means, but it falls apart because his grand plan is just so stupid. The only way to reconcile the sympathetic character with the dumb plan is to point out he's "THANOS THE MAD TITAN", not "THANOS THE TITAN THAT FULLY CONSIDERS THE CONSEQUENCES OF HIS ACTIONS"

Would have been much better if they just kept his original motivation from the comics: Death is a hot lady and horny thanos does the snap as a gift to her

I assume there's some in universe reason why they can't / don't keep copies of the teleportation data, otherwise everyone would be effectively indestructible

"Oh no the captain got eaten by a space tiger"

"No problem, I'll teleport a backup from an hour ago, he'll be there in 5 minutes"

That's assuming you'll meet literally every person on earth

Let's say you will have a meaningful interaction with 1000 people ever, 1% of that leaves you with 10

If you're not bi make it 5 before you even start considering wether you also find those people attractive back, if they're single and in the right age range

So get that confidence back down. Statistics are a bitch

Help step-manager, I'm stuck

Real life the board game©

Yes

Every experiment so far has shown that when you toss COVID patients into active volcanoes instead of using the standard treatment there's a 99% reduction in deaths by COVID, but big pharma doesn't want you to know that

Our planet is on fire. The Nazis are back. Most of us are wage slaves. Women are going to prison over their physiology. Multiple nations are currently at risk of being wiped off the map...

Conservatives care about all of those actually relevant things, but they're trying to make them even worse.

Of course that wouldn't be very popular, so instead they just scream about what's in people's pants and their voters eat it up

Ouch my bones

Don't make "hit" the new "slammed".

The headline makes it sound like a fistfight, turns out it was just one post on the TwitterButDumber site

They can also make artificial diamonds that are good enough for jewelry, the perception that lab made diamond is different/worse than diamonds pulled from the ground is just propaganda to keep the artificial scarcity