Shampiss

That's the point though. It doesn't matter when time travel is invented, only if it can be invented.

If time travel is possible even 10 000 years in the future someone would almost certainly show up at Hawking's party since they have a time machine.

The fact that no one showed up it's a reasonable argument that time travel is impossible

This kind of sad romantization of physical phenomena is weird to me.

I think romanticizing physical phenomena can be a really great tool to create a narrative and get people interested in the subject, or can just be a cool talking point about physics.

This example is pointless and kinda sad

If a photon from the sun misses the earth it will likely travel for billions of years into the void, most of them probably absorbed by random space dust. So hitting earth or hitting a human could be considered cool depending how you sell the narrative.

It's possible to tell many different narratives. I just dislike the sad ones. There are many more cool ones

CBAT - they will get horny, jerk off in sync to the rhythm then leave

Alien Hip Hop - they will be either extremely confused or will get inspired to leave and form a prog rock band immediately

The Woven Web - it's such an incredibly sick song that they will have to mute their speakers and bop to it

Pascal's wager argues that if there are 2 different and non provable outcomes to a belief, you should believe the one that has better consequences for you.

In this case there are no divine consequences of being destroyed and reassembled in another location.

This is probably more of a ship of Theseus question.

I would miss Google maps too.

I'd love a cool gimmicky phone that flips open or whatever, and has a small screen or a really bad frame rate. Just to discourage me using YouTube and social media.

I just don't know what I would use to navigate around

Thanks for the correction. I was blinded by my hatred for Brenda. I was sure I was off by a lot but I couldn't bother looking it up at the time

Then he turned himself into a pickle

Funniest thing I've ever seen

Sure, physicists can just keep track of about 5% of the universe's mass. That's their whole job, and they just got 5%!? Are they stupid??

Who are you to complain Brenda?! The only thing you keep track of is the amount of Oreos you have in the pantry

5% of the universe is still several trillions of tons of mass! Although I suppose a good part of that is your fat ass!

It sounds so freaking fake too.

Tbh, I hope it's real and this woman is free from vape addiction. There's a question here about boundaries but what strikes me the most is that I can't take it seriously. The tone is just so characteristic of these 4chan green texts. No details, no heart. Straight to the point. Short enough to get a bunch of upvotes.

He wrote it like it's a simple story that happened within a week. It just feels manufactured

Hey man. It looks like you have some built up angst towards The Onion or towards this topic

It's fine if you're just letting some emotions out, but I just want to point out that the Onion is not trying to inform anyone. How can they spread misinformation if every article is clearly satire?

You may find it to be a terrible joke but I don't get why this has caused you this much stress

Would you care to elaborate?

Actually firing off the middle class into the sun would do a better job in exploding it sooner

Human bad

There. Saved you a few words