I always grab my dick when an earthquake happened.
Then, my hand automatically strokes dick
I feel as if I have sex with the earth
The fear fades away.
Wait, you can’t understand Boomhauer?
Gullible
joined 1 year ago
I agree, frankly. But the age is too low. No one below 100 should be exposed to this filth.
Pretty sure that’s a classic internet pastime
Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these?
As time goes on and humans become warier, the ruse advances and evolves. Formerly scaled skin becomes supple and soft, eye spots gain light receptors and motion tracking, limbs gradually achieve mobility, speech develops, lower back and knee pain are oft discussed. It’s said that this is how Finlanders developed.
Relatedly, lie frequently and believably on the internet. Bots and potential doxxers don’t deserve the truth and others will benefit from your efforts in poisoning the well.
Project 2025, mostly. That and the permanently red Supreme Court composed of partisans.
In doomsday movies, this would be considered a harbinger. It’s also a harbinger in real life, but we pay less attention to that.
“Well, it was nice seeing you. I’d shake your hand, but don’t touch me.”
Anyone got ruse plans? Here's mine
>Buy new shirt
>Don't let roommates know
>Go on vacation to place with a landmark, like New York
>Take photo in front of Statue of Liberty wearing new shirt
>Go back and tell roommates you went somewhere else
>Wait a few weeks
>Tell your roommates you just got a new shirt and show it to them
>Say you're going on vacation to New York
>Actually stay in your room
>Lock door, turn lights off, be silent
>Send photo of you in front of Statue of Liberty with new shirt to roommate
>One night, sneak out into the bathroom
>Shit in the shower
>Go back to your room and wait
>Next day, roommates think it was each other
>Come out and say you just got back
>Normies would never expect someone to actually go to New York just to get away with shitting in the shower
>Enjoy as your roommates argue with each other for shitting in the shower
No. 619814304
Challenge /b/:
Name an object that no human has ever tried to use sexually.
No. 619814377
Your penis
>Be me
>Be 20 in uni.
>Going to study with friends in liberry.
>Text friend asking where to meet him.
>He says on 3rd floor.
>Go to liberry.
>Go to 3rd floor.
>Dent see friend.
>Look down bookcase rows.
>See friend seated facing away from me towards the window at a desk in his trademark blue hoodie.
>Approach my friend.
>Gay-chicken-protocol engaged.
>I intend to win the ongoing gay-chicken war here and now.
>Sneak up behind friend.
>Swing legs over back of chair one at a time.
>Slide down behind friend so my crotch is touching his ass.
>Cup his breasts.
>Pull him tight.
>Friend turns around.
>Not friend.
>Total stranger.
> Never seen this kid before.
>His face...
>Ohgod.jpg
>I move head closer to his ear.
>Whisper, You arent John...
>Proceed to stand up and powerwalk down the stairs
>Out the liberry.
>Off campus.
>Walk 9 blocks & get chipotle.
No.619872483
Our earth is only 4 billion years old in a universe that is 14 billion years old. What could a species learn, create, and do that has a 2 or 3 billion year head start on us? what about 10?
No.619893946
they probably have better memes.
No. 9559967
stories of us being alpha
>at a (straight) club with my bros
>some obviously drunk faggot comes up to me
>tells me i have really nice nice eyes and that he just had to come talk to me and he wants to buy me a drink
>i have a mind to knock this guy the fuck out
>tell him i'm not a faggot and push him really hard
>he's on the ground soaking wet from spilling his drink on himself
>call my bros over
>we're surrounding him and verbally abusing him he literally starts crying
>we tell him to just get the fuck out of here
No. 9559970
Sounds stupid and not alpha, OP.
No. 9559971
that's what he gets for being a poofter
No. 9559988
>>9559970
how was i not alpha?
if i'm not alpha then no one is.
>>9559967
Fuck, that's alpha..if you were in 6th grade.
take it from a real Alpha
>>Go to the library often during finals (junior year)
>>Notice this one kid who is always there
>>After finals he is still there
>>Hear stories about homeless college students who sleep in libraries
>>Feelsbadman.jpg
>>Talk to him
>>Find out he's actually a cool guy
>>He hides the fact that he's homeless
>>Me and my crew take him in
>>Make him feel wanted
>>He was reluctant at first
>>He opens up to us about his situation (end of junior year)
>>Homeless after his mom died
>>Never knew his father
>>No brothers or sister
>>Decided College was all he had left
>>Grants don't cover room and board
>>Has no money
>>Dude is Auschwitz mode
>>Told us in a group, we were all crying.
>>Manly tears
>>No bro left behind
>>We offer him our places to stay
>>We make sure he take care of him
>>Dude was pretty prideful, didn't do well taking help
>>Made a deal, he accepted our help and he would help me out at the gym as my spotter as well as study (smart motherfucker)
>>4 years go by
>>I no longer have a friend
>>I now have a brother who is /fit/
>>(My family actually adopted him)
>>brother has his own place and was crawling in bitches and took one and put a ring on it.
That's real alpha mode you dick.
>GTA Dubai: Online
>Make female character
>Go outside and step into car
>6 stars wanted level.
“Get out of the way! Truck! Truck behind you! Run, it’s not slowing down!! For the love of god, move!”
“I think this guy wants to hit me with a truck” *wet crunching*