this post was submitted on 25 Oct 2023
863 points (90.6% liked)

Programmer Humor

31800 readers
207 users here now

Post funny things about programming here! (Or just rant about your favourite programming language.)

Rules:

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 238 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (7 children)

You can definitely tell how old it is because both Rust and 3D printed guns have gotten way better.

And TypeScript is just the JavaScript sword, but with a cheap leather hilt.

[–] [email protected] 46 points 10 months ago (1 children)

And C# now can be taken off the donkey and mounted on a penguin and works rather well.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 34 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

It's a heavy duty hilt that's easily detachable by a small recessed switch labeled “any”.

(It does its job very well as long as you don't opt out of using it)

[–] [email protected] 17 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Except the tool you use to build the hilt in the first place has 100 permutations of settings, and most of them kill you on the spot.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 31 points 10 months ago

because it makes it (type)safe to use..!

[–] [email protected] 25 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (3 children)

Also C# (or should I say the .net framework) is now cross platform, which wasn't really the case when I first saw this meme.

This joke made sense when instead of .net you could only use Mono with C# on other platforms, which wasn't very good at the time.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 10 months ago

And Python's migration to 3.x is more or less complete. Took a while (15 years since 3.0), but it's to the point where migration is not a common topic of conversation.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 124 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Through long and weary travels,* I bring the gift of source preserved by the workers of the great archives: https://web.archive.org/web/20140831164530/http://bjorn.tipling.com/if-programming-languages-were-weapons

* (they weren't that bad honestly, a kind soul that took the journey 9 years ago made mine much shorter)

[–] [email protected] 39 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Thank you! The original source of truth! 💎 As IT people, this is part of our culture and should be transmitted. 🤣

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 74 points 10 months ago (17 children)

C++ and ruby are weird, especially since C is somehow considered a reliable rifle. Rust betrays it's age

[–] [email protected] 67 points 10 months ago (1 children)

C is reliable in the sense that your C program reliably has memory leaks and security holes.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (6 children)

Unlike your Java program amirite.

The benefit of java is that you didn’t write the security holes in your software.

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] [email protected] 25 points 10 months ago (1 children)

As does C#. The Windows-specific parts are not the parts most developers will use these days.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 10 months ago (3 children)

I took it as the donkey being .NET

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Agree. That one didn't age well...

[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 months ago

The M1 Garand is known for having a problem during reloading where you have to stick your thumb in a slot that's about to shut very hard. There are techniques to avoid getting pinched, but "Garand thumb" is a well-known phrase among vintage rifle enthusiasts.

This fits C very well.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

And does anything require Python v2 anymore? I work almost exclusively in Python and haven't run into that in many years.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (12 replies)
[–] [email protected] 51 points 10 months ago (10 children)

Old enough they still know Prolog.

load more comments (10 replies)
[–] [email protected] 40 points 10 months ago (3 children)

It's a pretty good representation of Rust, being 3d printed means that it's the only gun where you can't shoot yourself in the foot

[–] [email protected] 16 points 10 months ago

[flips safety off[

[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 months ago

But it can just blow up in your face

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 40 points 10 months ago (1 children)

(?(bruv(,(problem(a(got(you(,(Oi)))))))))

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 37 points 10 months ago (2 children)

It's funny because people describe PowerShell as powerful, but really they mean it's also a hammer to mash everything with. "Powerfull!"

[–] [email protected] 28 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Powershell suffers from the typical Microsoft problem: Ignore for decades, and then go completely over the top with it.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 10 months ago (4 children)

I see Powershell as a nuclear bomb. It is extremely powerful and complex and barely anybody uses it because of it.

load more comments (4 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 29 points 10 months ago (7 children)

"perl was probably useful once"?!

I'm willing to bet a TON of medical and banking data is still making its way through perl today. (I'm not necessarily saying this is a good thing, but I have years of experience in healthcare IT).

[–] [email protected] 37 points 10 months ago

For that matter, there are still folks out there coding, professionally, in FORTRAN.

Thing is, back then, we didn't know any better. Software was a commodity, and both the people who wrote it and the people who bought it had grown up in a time before the internet, before SaaS; people whose parents who, if they made things, made widgets.

Back then, you could write a piece of software, and it was done. Then you sold it, and moved on. If the old software had bugs, if they weren't catastrophic enough to cause a lawsuit, buyers learned to live with them. It was too bad; you already shipped the tapes. And few companies employed their own software developers unless they were software development companies. Man pages have a BUGS section, and that's because there's no intention to ever fix those bugs, because that software is done.

Software today is never finished. Our first reaction if we see a project with no recent releases is that it's abandoned, or dead, and certainly that it's worse than a project with recent commits to the repo. Github is a huge culprit in reinforcing this mentality, but mobile app platforms (stores and OSes) are terrible about this, too. Google constantly changes the Play store in ways that force developers to tweak their apps lest they become incompatible, booted, or get flagged as being "old" a.k.a. "inferior."

Yet, still, there's so much software out there that's complete. An institution may hire a developer to come in and make a change, but it's usually a contract one-off; it's more like taking your car in to have the starter replaced. Those systems are going to continue keeping "dead" programming languages (commercially) alive for years to come.

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] [email protected] 26 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I spent my career writing COBOL. Sad not to see it on the list. I think it would be a shield you can bash people with; clunky but effective

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 23 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Python V2/V3??? How old is this thing? Not even Debian comes with Python 2 these days.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Not even Debian comes with Python 2 these days.

It was only removed 9 months ago

[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 months ago

OP was technically correct, the best kind of correct.

[–] Steamymoomilk 21 points 10 months ago (7 children)
[–] [email protected] 33 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Assembly is a scrapheap with every sort of technology imaginable but it's all broken. Could be an iron man suit, or you could just grab a length of rebar.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (6 replies)
[–] [email protected] 20 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Fuck a bunch of 50000 pixel tall images

[–] [email protected] 15 points 10 months ago (3 children)

back in my day that took 3 hours to download

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 20 points 10 months ago
[–] [email protected] 19 points 10 months ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 10 months ago

Yeah, fortunately rust and go married since then

[–] [email protected] 16 points 10 months ago

Then you have Clojure - a machine gun that shoots shivs.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 10 months ago

Assembly: A gauss rifle, but you have to manually align the magnets

BASIC: 2mm Kolibri

Nim: An AR-15 that you can modify to shoot explosive minigun bullets

Crystal: A halberd with obsidian crystals

Pascal: Trebuchet. A small handful of people know how to make it a truly powerful weapon capable to bringing down any and every opponent.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I feel like python would be an AR-15 or something, generic modern weapon that's easy to use but doesn't really do anything special

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago (4 children)

Python needs an update:

Python would be a Tavor TS12 automatic shotgun with rotating tube magazines. It's heavy, doesn't have a fast fire rate, but it can fire a ridiculous array of ammunition, and they're working on the ability to fire all the barrels at once (GILess)

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Maybe try a different lemmy client, it loads fine for me in sync

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 10 months ago

It's a very large image, so many clients load a scaled down version. On Boost at least you can press the HD icon and it loads the fullsize images where stuff is legible.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 months ago (1 children)

JavaScript is a foam bat. Easy enough to wield and it'll get the job done, but very inefficiently and it'll be an ugly sight..

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›