this post was submitted on 22 Oct 2023
543 points (97.5% liked)

internet funeral

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[–] [email protected] 59 points 10 months ago (1 children)

One for dying alone in the woods, please.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 10 months ago (2 children)

... this option is beginning to feel a bit crowded, will there be like a line or something? Is scheduling an option? I don't want to be around people, ew

[–] sbv 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

everyone's in the woods now. It isn't really alone anymore.

[–] Classy 1 points 10 months ago

There's always somewhere to be alone if you're willing to travel far enough. Nobody's going to live in the rocky, frozen wastes of the Canadian Shield for example

[–] Sabre363 56 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I'll make conceptual art alone in the woods, just like my father did after joining the army.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] Sabre363 8 points 10 months ago

I'm just a "happy" little accident

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

I'm sorry for your loss

[–] [email protected] 16 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Woods. I choose woods. 🪵 🪵 🪵

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

Yeah, idk what it says about me that this choice seemed like a good deal.

When it's time for me, an easy death surrounded by quiet and nature seems like the best way.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Dying in the woods alone please.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I'll have the same, but like far enough from this person to still feel alone

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Aren't you alone as soon as they finish dying?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

Ain't nobody got time for that!!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)

My lifelong goal is to become a legendary hermit in the mountains somewhere.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

If you're legendary people will keep making the hike to bother you tho

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

Hey, just because you're destined to die alone in the woods doesn't mean you can't help the interlopers to the same destiny...

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Can I just die right now? That'd be more convenient.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

No, go to the woods first, instructions are clear :D

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago
[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago

Why can't I make conceptual art in the woods?

Your odds of dying alone in the woods aren't bad if you join the Army.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

... Conceptual art. My father may have been effeminate, but he wasn't as feminine as I'm about to become.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I'll take "all of the above"!

(er... not at the same time, please.)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

At least two of those are a true and tested combination.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

I'll take doing alone in the woods. Really joining the army seems like the worst choice. Though I guess that depends on your father.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

So, by using the word "include", am I to assume that there are even more options beyond these few?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

"Your options include and damn well are limited to..."

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

It has some options missing.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

God, anything but conceptual art...

[–] paysrenttobirds 4 points 10 months ago

I think it's more fun if you're the one making it. Like jazz

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

I'm not a part of your system

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

This is like a David Shrigley piece.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

Is this the artist Don’t Fret?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Knocked out 3 of those. Now how to make conceptual art? Hmmmm.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

In the words of one of my favorite songs

"Death is when life turns into art"