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I'm totally cool with polyamory and its variants, but this infographic definitely paints monoamory as a lesser choice which is cringe (it also says "idealized monoamory" instead of just monoamory which I don't get).
Don't judge other's choices, doesn't matter if their choice is polyamory or monoamory.
100% agree. Whoever made this "guide" was attempting to portray monoamory as a bad thing, maybe even worse than cheating.
It reads as though the author is someone single, or someone in an unhappy polyamorous relationship with feelings of resentment towards those in monoamorous relationships.
I agree with not judging. I think monoamory is just labeled as "idealized" because it's the current societal standard. Some people who don't mesh with monogamy may not know there's another option, and so it can be helpful to say that monogamy is only just that, idealized, and not actually necessarily better.
I like this, but I don't like calling them affairs when everyone involved knows about it.
Egalitarian Polyamory working pretty well for me 😊
Cringe
This post reeks of incel fantasy.
They are just people living their lives and doing it with consent, except for the cheating part, but that is just shitty behaviour.
Why? Wtf
Passive aggressively dismissive of standard relationships while fantasizing about having multiple interested partners.
Very much seems like someone's "sour grapes" attempt at explaining why they're alone.
i.e. "I don't have a SO because my views on relationships are incompatible with most, totally not because of my personality, or lack thereof."
Every dynamic depicted here is shown with positive labels and imagery except the normal monoamorous relationship. Monoamory is depicted as neglectful and harmful, and labeled "idealized" as if the idea is absurd or unattainable.
Hell, CHEATING is depicted with less negative imagery than monoamory.
Yeah, no. It doesn't read like that at all. All it reads like is "there are a bunch of relationship dynamics, and they're not all going to work equally well for everyone. Here's a handy overview!".
I could maaaaybe agree with using "idealized" monogamy, but I don't really agree because, in our society, monogamy IS idealized as the standard, and if you practice anything else, it's the weird thing. In that regard you could say it may be "attacking" monogamy, but I'd say it's simply pointing out that not everyone has to fall into the one relationship type that is most common.
Look at cheating, then look at monoamory, then try to tell me this "guide" doesn't have some fucked up bias.
Based on this post alone, would someone think cheating or monoamory is worse?
There's nothing saying cheating is good in the this. And honestly yeah, cheating is kinda weird to be on this, but I think it's just a statement saying "this is a type of relationship, a type with one person cheating on the other." It's as neutral towards cheating as it is towards anything else.
If we want to nitpick, "open relationship" uses the word "affair" which has a lot of negative context, and so open relationships must be bad right? I don't see this as endorsing anything.
"Nothing saying cheating is good"
In the cheating section there are 3 smiling faces and 2 bright red hearts, one of which is wearing "cool" sunglasses.
The monoamory tile has a frowning face, a big red x, and a broken heart.
I'm sorry but the imagery is definitely there, despite your decision to disregard it.
Look, I think it'd be better without the cheating bit. I'll give you that it's definitely a weird inclusion. Pretty sure I already said as much to someone else, if not directly to you. The rest of it, though? There's a lot of nit picking and stretching to make it at all misogynistic or incel related.
As for imagery, I think we're interpreting different things from the symbols. The broken heart and the frown represents not being in a relationship, despite being in love. The sunglasses aren't supposed to represent coolness, but sneaking around, being 'shady'. Overall could it be more clear? Sure. Could it just remove cheating and be a lot more agreeable? Sure. But with just a bit of contemplation it's really not saying anything unreasonable.
I'm sorry but you simply don't seem to understand how imagery and symbolism works.
The artists intent is very clear. You are trying so hard to defend this random dumb comic strip on the internet instead of just admitting it's a dumb comic strip on the internet.
I'm not trying that hard lmao. It's just not as cut and dry as you seem to think it is. The symbolism used has a few interpretations.
I'm also not trying that hard, because I've already admitted multiple times that I think it'd be a better comic without the cheating bit.
The only thing I'm defending, or I suppose attacking, is the notion that it's somehow misogynistic and incel-y.
me when media literacy is hard. :^(
seriously, the last thing - relationship anarchy, is very rarely (if ever) supported by incels/misogynists in general, because they want control over women. relationship anarchy is very much not about control. if we're to say that the imagery is indicating which is better, it probably would indicate relationship anarchy is best - given the whole everyone is smiling and look at all those hearts deal. not to mention, as the other commenter said - the shades indicate shadiness. there is a distinct air of it being bad in the long run to both scenarios in which secrets are actively being kept.
Passive aggressively dismissive of standard relationships
Whose standard?