Ask Lemmy

Not a typo, but as a waiter I told a woman about our Cedar Seared Caesar Salad. Except I didn't say Caesar, I said Semen.

Cedar Seared Semen Salad. Oof.

Edit: Just realized the tongue twister was actually worse. It was Cedar seared salmon, Caesar salad. Whoever chose that as a menu item was some sort of sadist.

I've seen Retards instead of Regards at the end of emails. Kinda changes the tone of everything before it.

In french, via SMS, to a girl I was flirting with as a teenager:

"T'es où?" (Where are you?) got auto-corrected to "T'es nu?" (Are you naked?).

I don't remember what her response was, but I remember we didn't end up dating.

The worst typo I ever made was texting my friend who is a Black woman that she needed a bigger TV. Unfortunately the b & n are right next to each other on the keyboard and I wrote one of the most offensive words ever. Even though it was an innocent mistake, I apologized profusely to her.

My wife called her friend fat instead of far (she lives far away)

A coworker once e-mailed about their adjusted shit (shift)

I'm constantly worried I'll e-mail about outstanding bitches (batches)

French speaker here: Began a message over Teams to a coworker with "Hey, salut!" and wrote "Hey, slut!" instead.

I have never edited a message so quickly in my life.

French word for typo is "coquille" because long ago some newspaper printed "couille" instead, which is slang for testicule.

Messaged wife while on a trip in UA: "Spent the night in a little girl in basement"

"girl" and "hotel" are a remarkably similar swipe movement on an Android keyboard.

My family name is Carvalho (oak). I asked my then 8 years old son to sign his passport and he wrote “Caralho”. I’ll let you search that on Google with the safe search OFF.

Not even a typo, but had a boss would would use "F U" as shorthand for "follow up." Was always shocking to see emails saying "I will F U on Monday."

I have typo'd hotfix as both hotdix and hotfux. One letter can change everything.

One time I copy pasted a horrific NSFW subreddit to my sister that I was making fun of the existence of to a friend just before. That count? It did not fit into the discussion we were having at all and she was horrified. I can't remember the name of it now but it was like "fapcaves" or something where people literally post up pictures of their huge disgusting masterbation stations they make.

I had a co-worker whom I accidentally renamed to Cunthia in several large distro emails.

"Warm Retards,

Xxxxx

I bought a rotisserie chicken and was going to use the meat. Texted a friend that I was "boning a chicken."

Deboning is a word. I swear.

I'm going to the store to buy some chips and human dip

I told my father that he might like a certain ice cream flavor because it has come in it.......was supposed to say cone

Movie night. I asked one of my friends to bring cocporn.

(It was meant to be popcorn)

Not mine but from a colleague: years ago on a very big signboard in the center of our city, promoting a gig with a very special guest at the time (still very good tho), tech house dj Satoshi Tomiie, he wrote Satoshit Omiie...

I saw this from somewhere else, a person was in a multiplayer, and in the chat they were trying to type "edits", but made some other typo in that, which auto-corrected to "drugs" before they sent it. So the message turned to "Tbh I make drugs."

I'm going to the store to buy some chips and human dip

My workplace has a program that will pay for your college courses, so I signed up for a certification course at CUNY. I had to fill out a bunch of paperwork for my workplace and list the college multiple times. Well, the letter T is right next to the letter Y on the keyboard, so I accidentally put CUNT instead of CUNY in one spot. Thank God my boss was cool and just thought it was hilarious.