this post was submitted on 19 Sep 2023
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[–] [email protected] 66 points 11 months ago (1 children)

In water, Hippopotamus. On land, Rhinoceros.

[–] bernieecclestoned 55 points 11 months ago (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 84 points 11 months ago (1 children)

A whale, or possibly a bowl of petunias

[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I wish I could understand what went though the bowl of petunias’ mind when it thought β€˜not again’ though…

[–] [email protected] 19 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I just read about this! The bowl of petunias was an incarnation of Agrajag. "Not again" referred to being killed by Arthur. Again.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

What the fuck is this thread

[–] [email protected] 19 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

They're referring to The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

Specifically, they're talking about a creature (the bowl of petunias created high above the surface of an airless world as a byproduct of a star drive powered by improbability) who has reincarnated many, many times, but in every life is killed by an otherwise inoffensive and constantly bewildered British man.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Depends who hits the ground second.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago
[–] [email protected] 43 points 11 months ago (4 children)

My money is on hippo every day of the week. You'd have to find a freak specimen of a rhino to compete with even an average hippo.

Rhino weight range: 1,320 - 2,090 pounds

Hippo weight range: 2,900 - 4,000 pounds

[–] [email protected] 28 points 11 months ago

Maybe I'm missing something, but I'm seeing in my googling that MOST rhino species are more massive than hippos.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 11 months ago

It varies depending on rhino species but rhinos are generally larger.

Largest land mammals are elephant > rhino > hippo.

White rhinos are often over 3,500kg.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

Huh. I guess I thought rhinos were bigger. Well I bet one could take on a pygmy hippo!

weigh 180–275 kg (397–606 lb)

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[–] [email protected] 40 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Hippos are crazy territorial, so my money would be on them. It's hard to imagine a rhino losing the battle, but the pure unfiltered rage of a hippopotamus when you trespass his territory will frighten even the boldest of rhinos.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Rhinos are territorial enough to try to fight elephants. They lose, but they try.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 11 months ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Yes, actually. He seemed to think it wasn't so clear cut, but everyone here has their money on the hippo

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Hiphopopotamus vs. Rhymenoceros

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

I’m not a large water dwelling mammal, where did you get that preposterous hypothesis?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 months ago

Depends on who's Kung Fu is stronger.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Rhino's have low intelligence, can't swim (well), hace poor eyesight, and are smaller. My money's on the Hippo.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

Well rhinos are often bigger, but that won't help them enough.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I'm surprised everyone is betting on hippos.

Rhinos are bigger (generally), heavier, move faster, have collagen armor, and have a horn.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Hippos are more angry if you fuck with em.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Try getting angry at 3,500kg of pointy faced Rhino moving at 50kmh and see how much that helps.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago

Mr Rodgers in a blood stained sweater

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Oh ok that’s settled then.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago

It would likely be counterproductive to try to bite a charging rhino.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (2 children)

It depends who is hungrier.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I've been led to believe it is hippos who are hungry

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago (3 children)

So where are these hungry hungry hippos?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Looking for food, probably.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

The most dangerous game.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Those ravenous ravenous rhinos.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

Does the rhino get prep time?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I wanted them to do this face off on the short lived Animal Face-Off on Animal Planet!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Was that the show with the green wireframe CGI animals that they would show duking it out and eating wireframe people?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Hell yeah it was awesome to middle school me.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

I feel like thr hippo just has a higher ring IQ. Like, rhino has got the nose but I think the hippo would just controll the pace of the fight so that it couldn't come into play

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

They don't, there's videos of them squaring off. The hippo opens its mouth and the rhino just sticks its horn in. I imagine neither is happy about the situation, as I wouldn't want to stick my nose in a hippo's mouth myself.

[–] UrPartnerInCrime 4 points 11 months ago

I think the rhino would be able to get a nice stab wound in once maybe twice, but after that the sheer power of the hippos bite with destroy the rhino as theyre close.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

These things are tiny they wouldn't stand a chance against a rhino https://youtu.be/NBfi8OEz0rA?si=MuLBF1TxDarmbCsD

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago
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