this post was submitted on 26 Jun 2025
488 points (98.8% liked)

People Twitter

7512 readers
426 users here now

People tweeting stuff. We allow tweets from anyone.

RULES:

  1. Mark NSFW content.
  2. No doxxing people.
  3. Must be a pic of the tweet or similar. No direct links to the tweet.
  4. No bullying or international politcs
  5. Be excellent to each other.
  6. Provide an archived link to the tweet (or similar) being shown if it's a major figure or a politician.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 30 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 1 points 15 hours ago

Jesus. That's going to cost you a lot more than you think it should. Prize bull semen doses can go for thousands, and if I remember correctly, prize winning horses are going to be about the same.

I just went and looked it up. Page 43 lists them from a little under a thousand euros to nearly two thousand. I didn't bother reading through all the terms and conditions, but maybe you could convince them to not charge you the foal fee since, well, you degenerates aren't buying this for horse breeding purposes...

Anyway, a quick search found a hilariously bad SEO website that looks good enough for me. 30-100 milliliters sounds like you're going to need minimum 40 emissions worth. And I bet you're not getting a full load from the supplier, just enough for your highly paid vet to do IVF, so I'm betting we'll be buying about 150 doses or so.

[–] starman2112 20 points 2 days ago (2 children)

"I need a washing machine"

GE: Here u go

"I also need a 30mm hydraulically driven 7 barrel gatling-style autocannon with a rate of fire you can measure in hertz"

GE: Here u go

[–] [email protected] 4 points 16 hours ago

I need a barcode scanner.

Honeywell: Right here bud

Also a thermonuclear weapon

Honeywell: How many megatons?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Could also be Samsung. They also build tanks.

[–] starman2112 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Only General Electric produces the gun whose recoil can make its aircraft stall

[–] can 101 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 93 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Me: I need an AC unit

Mitsubishi: sure!

Me: I would also like an orbital launch system, a forklift, a cruise ship, a main battle tank, an air superiority fighter and a nuclear power plant

Mitsubishi: ur not gonna believe this..

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 days ago (2 children)

South Korea has entered the chat

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I need a phone, a custom-made processor, a lithium-ion battery, a liquefied natural gas tanker ship, a life insurance policy and a washing machine.

Samsung: you're not going to believe this

[–] anomnom 2 points 16 hours ago

And Hyundai sells the rest

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 days ago

Why have lot company when few company do trick?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 days ago

"I need someone to make an affordable consumer home appliances, and also a nearly indestructible black box containing sensitive avionics data."

Honeywell: "Did someone say my name?"

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Wanting and needing a gallon of horse cum are two different things.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Third thing: Having a gallon of horse cum

Costco furiously taking notes

[–] [email protected] 42 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago

Those aren't e-men at all!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)

That’ll go great with my gallon of PCP

[–] [email protected] 2 points 15 hours ago

How you gonna drink 2 gallons of liquid in one sitting?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

This is like when I found out about the Budweiser horses

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 days ago (3 children)

"cool, cool, now do you have a semi-automatic pistol that shoots a gallon of horse cum?"

"I need it for... Reasons..."

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

That'd be any semi auto, provided you aim well.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago

Holds a gallon of horse cum, and one in the chamber.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

Also a horse that cums bullets, preferably with one ready to go in the shaft at all times.

[–] aislopmukbang 19 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Both equally effective in self defense

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I was gonna say, you need 16 rounds before reloading for self-defense? Are you Pablo?

[–] Reverendender 7 points 2 days ago

Definitely depends on how many plainclothes “ICE agents” are trying to kidnap you

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

See, America? Gun control is not the end of the world! You can safely implement sensible firearms legislation. You can just move to Some Other Thing after that! It's not hard!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I think a gallon is a bit much. It doesn't taste THAT good.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 18 hours ago

when you buy a loaf of bread you don't plan to eat it all at once

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

Maybe it's not a party of just one.