this post was submitted on 20 Jun 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 days ago

The barrel was probably mistaken for Nuclear Bloom

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 days ago

"Quick, spit it into this thermos!"

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 week ago (3 children)

30 thousand euros worth? Where are they sold?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 days ago

There are online marketplaces for it.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 week ago (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago

These guys were THIRSTY!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (2 children)

If only there was a vegan alternative.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

you may not have any of my flower semen.

edit: no that's mean take a teensy piece

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

Veganism implies consent.

Do I need to spell it out for you how to get a load in a vegan way or can you figure it out?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Kinda looks like milk, so maybe they were thirsty?

[–] RedstoneValley 2 points 1 week ago

Taking a bath in style

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

Other farms for insemination, my guess. I'd imagine they're for specific breeds.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 week ago

The pedigrees of steers is a world unto itself. I've heard stories of people who were in the business getting wined and dined by governments. Bizarre but pretty interesting.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Image the culprits, suspected to be fuck-goofs

[–] QuantumSparkles 6 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 days ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

He's a twiggy alien that's severely allergic to dogs

[–] RIPandTERROR 11 points 1 week ago

One man's cum is another man's income

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Why there are no movies about sperm bank robberies?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago

Probably because the actual plot would be nowhere near exciting enough to compensate for the draconian restrictions enforced by ratings agencies for daring to mention human reproduction 🤷

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

Wasn't that one plot point of Man of Steel?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

There is Brassic episode about stealing bull sperm (although from a farm, not a bank).

I think it's S3e01

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago

Is nothing sacred?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago (2 children)

How much volume is 30k of bull spunk? I'm thinking it must be at least a bucket full.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

The official unit is bull-kkake.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

How do you fence 30k of cow spunk?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 days ago

I don't know, but once I was flying business class and the guy next to me had a liquid-nitrogen flask full of prize-winning brahma bull spooge. According to the guy, couriers like that are well-compensated. Made my work seem meaningful in comparison.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

New Jackass Episode???

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

Do they plan to make Red Bull?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

Prost Mahlzeit!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

My milkshake brings all the bulls to the yard

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

Finally, bull milk!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

Well it's a little obvious don't you think? Who else would be able to handle this absurd amount of semen? Also what would an average person do with it? Exactly. Only a person that craves the seed like we crave for oxygen would do it. Somebody that literally breaths fresh life (because of semen)

Do you have any reason (or alibi) why it should not be you?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

Creamy and delicious

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

Did no one see this coming?