this post was submitted on 28 May 2025
684 points (99.0% liked)

Greentext

6530 readers
1719 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 186 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

These glimpses into the world of the stupid and mentally ill are as fascinating as they are disturbing.

[–] Cheradenine 105 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Bro, did you not hear? One of the nurses was a QT3.14, he didn't get her digits, and she probably thinks he's highly regarded, but he saw her. Surely that counts for something

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 weeks ago

he's just like me fr

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

she thinks he's highly re~~g~~tarded

[–] [email protected] 36 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago

She's in Canada, you wouldn't know her.

[–] [email protected] 41 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

The writing is too coherent, it's 4chan stupid role play.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 3 weeks ago

Which is still a sign of some mental illness, I'm sure.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Wouldn't you feel like a fool if'n this guy figured out the secret and was out there taking 50 cal rounds to the face.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I think he doesn't need a 50cal round to the face as his brain is already damaged enough.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 132 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 33 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

God that's so fucking awesome lol, what a hero

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

He'd get faster results from eating really old watches.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Imagine his embarrassment when the charcoal just neutralizes all the toxic mountain dew and energy drinks in his guts, his ulcers heal, digestion improves and he feels better with more energy and then decides to go out and take up surfing, where he meets a nice girl on the beach and they hit it off and eventually get married and raise a bunch of kids, then BAM outta nowhere, 27 years later, hit by a truck.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 93 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

"The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact."

getting outraged over this nonsense says so much more about you than it does about OOP having a giggle.

[–] drspawndisaster 8 points 3 weeks ago

I think the top picture is a banana with brown spots on it. And the bottom picture has the most obscene lighting I've ever seen.

[–] [email protected] 60 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

I wonder what crayon flavor is his favorite

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Crayola has many colors but lead isn't one of them.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago

He has a strong career in the Marines in his future, for sure.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 42 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

This is why democracy is doomed to failure.

[–] TriflingToad 12 points 3 weeks ago (11 children)

what's the alternative? I'm actually curious

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

A good education system with good funding.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago

Dictatorship, duh

load more comments (9 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 42 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

Why is the nurse still on Qt 3.14?

[–] [email protected] 26 points 3 weeks ago

He should get her number to help her update. She'd probably be grateful.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago

Because she's not a full gallon.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago

It was the last one that was pure c++, before they started playing around with all this QML stuff

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 34 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

He took this old skeptic joke and ran with it.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 33 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (10 children)

This guy thinking real life works by rpg rules where blocking or being hit slowly raises your defense stat.

If this idiot had gone from... a .22 pellet ... skipped over .22short, skipped over .22lr... and gone to .223?

Thats a fucking necked, rifle cartidge.

Something like 15x the energy in ft-lbs or joules than a .22 short.

He would have blown a good chunk of his leg off.

... Anybody ever see photos of the aftermath of when a SWAT squad is stacked up prior to a door breach, and one of em accidentally fires a round into the back of their buddy's knee?

You lose your fucking leg, amputated at the knee.

I could find and NSFW spoiler post the images I've seen, but I do not want to look up nor see that shit again.

load more comments (10 replies)
[–] [email protected] 31 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Anon wins the greentext of the month prize.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I dispute, there is no green in the greentext.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I'm pretty sure, about what he voted.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 weeks ago

The brain worm commands an offering of lead.

[–] Gullible 18 points 3 weeks ago

Anon just moved too quickly. Avoid impatience when you’re doing important work like this, or else you’ll squander months of effort.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

They don't dig the bullets out usually because it causes more damage for no reason. Stop believing everything you read someone say on 4chan.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

It's likely artificial and homosexual.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago

Sure, but it could just as well have been dangerous to leave in. You must have serious issues to post on 4chan, so I'd say this story is at least plausible.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago

You're supposed to shoot yourself in the foot.

load more comments
view more: next ›