Leopards Ate My Face

Stop moaning. It can't possibly be hard work, because you pay a pittance.

Don't worry, Dustin Machia, fifth-generation dairy farmer from Sheldon.

Sell your farm to Farmco Inc: their robots will milk your cows.

Buy an overpriced house in the city to live, maybe one with lots of drugs and gang-bangers.

Make sure you support Trump's election bid in 2028, and/or vote for Donald Trump, Jr, lest a satanic Democrat moderate who defeated AOC by just a hair wins.

If you get age related health problems, look to RFK, Jr.

Remember the days when Americans and Canadians could cross the Vermont-Quebec border with relative ease? Those days are gone, and much of Canada, and perhaps a third of America, now hate people like you.

He fucking TOLD you what he was going to do. In very simple, plain language even.

We voted for nazism and deportation, but didn't think it would affect us and our undocumented workers. Trump his first term was economically really bad, but Trump said it was the best and I trust him more than facts and numbers so I voted for him again, but didn't think he would fuck up the economy even more than before. I support the tariffs on China, but I didn't think it would affect the price of fertilizer I import from there, so now my farm is going bankrupt because China now doesn't want to buy my product anymore with the counter tariffs and they were my only customer. But I completely support Trump and fully trust him. Just from a cardboard box under the overpass from now on.

It's strange. I live in rural VT and whenever i bike around you see Trump signs on a lot of farm fields. But then you read the newspaper and you read about ICE detaining legal employees at farms and the farmers being upset about it.

I genuinely don't understand.

Now We’re Milking Cows Alone at 4 A.M.

Well, you voted Trump, now you get to milk it for all it's worth. At 4 AM.

Get rekt, and pay a living wage next time you try and start a business.

"We voted for trump..." = you deserve whatever you get

what a bunch of fucking idiots. I'd laugh harder if the actual threat to my life wasn't real.

And to this milk farmer I say: Shut up and keep milking

I hope the industry collapses.

I mean, if you hire illegal immigrants you have to know someday you might lose those employees. The key is in the name: illegal.

"I didn't think the leopards would eat MY face :("

My parents used to export fruits For a brief moment, I worked for the family business and had the pleasure of meeting some of these people.

I met a farmer that sold cherries. Over dinner he was telling me how pissed he was about Mexicans taking jobs away from Americans.

When pressed on why he doesn't just hire Americans, he said no Americans wants to work minimum wage to pick cherries for 10 hours a day.

My dad has been trying to convince him for years that his rhetoric is ultimately going to hurt his livelihood. But his patriotism/ tribalism outweighs all logic.

No idea how he is doing now, but I imagine he just let his fruit drop this year.

If you voted for Trump you deserve worse than you'll get.

Thoughts & prayers, idiots.

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Even though Machia says he would still vote for Trump...

Then he gets what he gets. I don't feel a damn bit sorry for someone that stupid.

If you don't want to have to be milking cows in the wee hours, maybe cow farming isn't for you.

Sounds like he just incriminated himself from his own illegal business practices, lock him up!

Or, you know, they could offer good wages and benefits to attract legal workers and charge enough for the milk to cover their costs. I'm lactose intolerant anyway, I don't care if milk and cheese become a little more expensive. But I know, my idea is crazy.

The leopards were supposed to eat everybody else's face only.

Not a shred of simpathy from me. Now milk faster. Papa needs his cereal in the morning.

And the drugs is still happening anyway and those gangbangers were locals anyways so yeah, congratulations 🎉

remember when humans were free of intoxicants and violence ?

the good old-never-fucken-happened days.

This is the kind of thing that made me realise how much a urban being I am.
The way, I'm imagining a farmer, at least the one with milk farm is a guy waking before the sun because he must milk the cows at 4 a.m.

Sometimes it feels like being happy that Trumpers are suffering is like cheering when a disease dies with the host. It's a momentary happiness that the Balrog fell... milliseconds before you realize it's pulling you down with it.

Ah yes, making America Great Again. By bringing us back to a time period in which everyone in the household worked on the farm. Kids didn't go to school during planting and harvesting. Ditto for milking season. Better pump out six kids so you can have farm hands!