this post was submitted on 10 May 2025
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No Stupid Questions

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A trans parent would likely still want to be called "Mom" or "Dad", I assume. At least that's the case with the few trans parents I know.

Parents don't usually use "daughter" or "son" as pronouns, so I don't think it would come up with non-binary children.

Do children of non-binary parents call their parents by their first name? It seems unlikely that they say "Parent, may I please have more screen time?".

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[–] [email protected] 91 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] actionjbone 25 points 3 weeks ago

'nit for short

[–] clay_pidgin 9 points 3 weeks ago

Beep boop robo-Clay approves.

[–] throwawayacc0430 70 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Obviously it combines Mother and Father, or: M'F'er

🤭

[–] AwesomeLowlander 25 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Isn't that technically all biological dads?

[–] throwawayacc0430 17 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

The existence of the term "biological dad" implies the existence of an "artificial dad"

[–] AwesomeLowlander 17 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

Adopted dads are technically artificial dads.

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[–] [email protected] 66 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

One of my friends has a mom and a nom. Works well enough.

[–] clay_pidgin 19 points 3 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago

Short for mother and nother?

[–] [email protected] 62 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 25 points 3 weeks ago

Sometimes I miss australia.

[–] clay_pidgin 14 points 3 weeks ago

That would be fun at parent-teacher conferences!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago

I should call her.

[–] [email protected] 57 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

my son calls me baba. i've met other enby parents that use the same term. i originally heard it on blues clues lol

[–] [email protected] 31 points 3 weeks ago

Baba Is You!

[–] clay_pidgin 16 points 3 weeks ago

That's very cute!

[–] [email protected] 56 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

"Honored Ancestor" and "Blessed Forebear" are always appropriate.

[–] clay_pidgin 22 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Much respectful. So parent.

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[–] [email protected] 45 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I'm not nonbinary but my son just calls me Michael.

[–] clay_pidgin 57 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Which is odd because your name is Darrell.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 weeks ago

What about his brother Darrell?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago

That cracked me up lol

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[–] [email protected] 40 points 3 weeks ago

My friend's father transitioned to a woman but she kept calling her "Dad". Not to invalidate her identity just that they were both happy to continue describing their relationship with that term.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I read the title as a programming question at first...

[–] clay_pidgin 16 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 35 points 3 weeks ago

I’d imagine that this is something that varies from family to family.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Very individualized as per need. Non-binary is an umbrella term for a whole bunch of different situations so what feels right is going to be very different for someone who feels like say a mix of masculine and feminine versus someone who has dysphoric reactions to any and all gender markers. It's going to be different for someone whose identity is more static than say someone who fluidly bounces between extremes.

If you know someone who is non-binary that's essentially just the tip of the iceberg of a whole discussion about how they personally interact with their body or the culture of gender. A lot of people seem to treat it as a full stop third category which can actually be a disservice to a non-binary person because it oftentimes just leads to a lot of new assumptions and frames out some of the ways they could be better treated than just as automatically genderless. I've heard of mixes of Mom/Dad for bigender people, just Mom or Dad for trans masc/femme folk, Completely new words that do not have cultural baggage, or just "my parent". It's not a one size fits all situation.

[–] clay_pidgin 10 points 3 weeks ago

I appreciate the thoughtful reply.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

The words "mom" and "dad" are both derived from baby babble, syllables babies have an easy time making.

I therefore suggest that an enby parent should be a child's wawa

[–] clay_pidgin 12 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I like this. It would be awesome to be named after a gas station chain.

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 3 weeks ago

“Commander”

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

If I were a nonbinary parent, I’d definitely go with “elder”.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago

People will think you’re Mormon

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

so I don't think it would come up with non-binary children

You'd be surprised 😅

[–] clay_pidgin 9 points 3 weeks ago (6 children)

I just mean that I don't often hear parents addressing their kids as "Son" except in '50s media! I'm sure it happens.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

and what about enby grandparents?

[–] dream_weasel 16 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Grandy seems an easy choice.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I was wondering the other day why gran is always the grandma not the grandpa

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I'd say go Borg and be 1 of 3

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Probably depends on the kid. In the right house with the right mindset I bet parents could use first names. Otherwise it will probably be a special word to all of them, maybe something the kid calls them one day that sticks.

Maybe the parents will look to the internet or peers for answers and get stuff like "guardian" "my other parent" etc but ultimately the real question you should ask is how a child addresses their two same-gendered parents, maybe there's something to contexutalize there.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago

I was going to say it's definitely a case by case basis and what both parents and kids are comfortable with. With same-gender couples, I've often seen with my friends using two different gendered honorifics, like "mom" and "mama" or "dad" and "papa".

With trans people, often times it depends on when they came out. If before the child was born, or they were really young, I know a lot of parents will switch what they use, but for many people the title becomes something beyond gender. I've met a trans woman who transitioned later in life and was still "dad" to her kids because her role as a dad didn't invalidate her gender as a woman. In the same vein, I've known nonbinary folk who have kept "mom" or "dad" after coming out, went with a less traditional title, or even just made one up either something fun and ungendered (think something like "babi"). I've also heard people just using a diminutive of they're name, like rather than the kid saying "my parent, Sam" it becomes "my Sammy".

The fun thing about language is that it changes to fit the needs of people and groups, so we can just make it up as we go!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago

My nephew has a dad and a mawpa, but there are lots of options out there. It's wise to choose syllable sounds that babies can easily pronounce.

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