/c/TenForward: Your home-away-from-home for all things Star Trek!
Re-route power to the shields, emit a tachyon pulse through the deflector, and post all the nonsense you want. Within reason of course.
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Far more likely there is nothing in front of the ship and riker knows his ass is about to fire some consequence free lasers. He derives great pleasure from the reaction or lack of reaction of the crew on the bridge as he continues to chat about unrelated things
If you fire a weapon in space, someone is going to have a bad day. It just might be thousands or millions of years in the future, light-years away.
"Sir Isaac Newton is the deadliest son-of-a-bitch in space!"
-Some Gunnery Sgt.
I... I really hate to be that guy, but... "phasers".
Thank you. If it weren't for you I'd be "that guy".
Ahem.
That works until the first species joins Star Fleet that types with their butts.
There was a TNG episode that established that controls would only respond to authorized inputs, presumably from whatever limbs, organs, or phalanges any crewmember might typically use for such purposes.
They meet an alien species who controls all their electronics and touch sensitive systems using a single long appendage attached to their groin.
The Na'avi?
Nah, other way around, that's a long groin attached to their appendage (braid).
The Asstralians: Everything about them is upside down.
Upside down and ass-backwards
Reminds me of this video:
"Star Trek TNG - Will Riker Destroys the Enterprise-D"
Insufficient data. Please provide additional samples of each scenario.
Unrelated anecdote:
Years ago I had a cheap Blackberry lookalike phone. It had a button lock feature to prevent butt dialing, but some bright spark decided that the lock wouldn't apply to the '9' and '1' keys, presumably so that a user could dial 9-1-1 even if too panicked to unlock the keypad. Which just meant that it was really easy to butt dial 9-1-1...
Had something similar, except that the code on the phone to dial 911 with the keys locked was #08. Keys were so sensitive I couldn't keep my phone in my pocket, had to live in my bag or it'd be dialling emergency services.
"Number one, asspedoes, FULL SPREAD"
Ass pedos? Geez
Sir! firing sequence has been interrupted by a CORN (Cessium Ordinance Radiating Nucleons) .... we're going to have to increase power to push this one out!!!
I hope the screen was locked
looks down at the screen
“YOU HAVE ENTERED YOUR PASSWORD INCORRECTLY TOO MANY TIMES. CONTACT TECHNICAL SUPPORT.”
You have incorrectly entered your password too many times. This station is locked for 137 hours.
I'd be more worried that the panel is running plasma though it. Plasma that often violently explodes when the ship takes damage. He really trusts those panels with his butt.
Nah, it's on the bridge... that panel is loaded to the max with rocks and fireworks.
Arguing over such details is pretty silly when you consider that if we have spaceships in the 24th century they'll probably be completely autonomous, and people will simply ride around in them without even knowing how they work. We just like to make up imperfect but fun stories where the future is the present + gadgets. George Jetson endures rush-hour traffic jams in his space car.
This is one of the things that annoyed me about the latest Dune movies: all the switches in the cockpits of the ornithopters. Nothing else in that universe seems to require switches, but the ornithopters are set up like 1980s helicopters for some reason.
LOL nice observation, I didn't notice but yeah, that's dead on.
Now, if he took off his pants...that'd be a different story.
i’m sure if we have palm rejection worked out in tablets, ass cheek rejection is absolutely future table-screen tech
One would hope that stupid fashion of touch screens on dangerous vehicles stops before the 24th century...
They use their asses for identification.
Don’t worry, the ship is into it.
It may be the Enterprise-D, but it's more into the A
Prodigy is a kids show but it still counts as canon, and there are a couple scenes of ass phasering going on.
Were just going to ignore that Bryce Dallas Howard is just there, apparently immortal or something?
Actually, that's Patricia Tallman. I went to highschool with her son.
My bum is on the console, my bum is on the console. Look at me my bum is on the console.