this post was submitted on 01 May 2025
679 points (98.2% liked)

Microblog Memes

7524 readers
1934 users here now

A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

Rules:

  1. Please put at least one word relevant to the post in the post title.
  2. Be nice.
  3. No advertising, brand promotion or guerilla marketing.
  4. Posters are encouraged to link to the toot or tweet etc in the description of posts.

Related communities:

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 day ago (2 children)

She's not putting up much of a defence.

As an aside, do the lesbian cabals have enough resources to get on with the destruction of western civilization, or do they have a gofundme, or something?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Most of us in lesbian witch cabals just call them polycules, and the more powerful ones always need more help :p

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Aha! So you finally confess, but it's too late now! We've long known you for a witch, SQUIRRELANNA!

Hope you live a long and happy life with your lesbian witch friends and that if you have a moment, keep fixing the world by making rotten scumbags loose their licenses and what other mischievous deeds are fitting for such a cabal.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 18 hours ago

Just for this, we're gonna toss in an extra toe stubbing incantation for a particularly rude asshole. As a treat o7

[–] [email protected] 73 points 1 day ago (5 children)

An apparent male lawyer, who committed fraud, seems to at some point have told this woman – who’s sexual preference I’m not even vaguely concerned with – that she’s part of a lesbian cabal of witches… who are specifically trying to destroy… his marriage…

Huh. That’s some fuckin outerdimensional level of mental gymnastics right there, holy raging badgerfuck

[–] [email protected] 69 points 1 day ago (3 children)

"We are a powerful cabal of witches who wield the unlimited powers of Satan."

"Yes! What shall we do, then?"

"Why, fuck up Gary's marriage of course!"

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 day ago (1 children)

No higher calling, no greater purpose. Fuck your marriage specifically, Gary!

Job well done lads. Off we go.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Job well done lads.

Hahaha the rest was funny, but somehow that tipped me over the edge, the image of the cabal of lesbians referring to each other as lads.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Do you think they're related to the sinister gay cabals that are responsible for Figgis' room arrangements in Archer?

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago

I have a feeling that Gary's wife may just not like him very much. Not sure how exactly the lesbian witches are involved, but enquiry minds would like to know.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I mean, his wife might be really hot.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago

This comment reminds me of how my ex-bf became my ex after he told me he cast a love charm on me. I don't belive in Magic, but I can't trust someone who would think that the magical equivalent of a rookie is a good idea to do to your boyfriend

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

And really into witches.

Maybe she asked him to wear a sexy witch outfit for their frisky Friday, and he never got over it.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago (2 children)

And really into witches.

Isn't everyone?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago
[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 day ago

He's such a nice guy, he'd never have sinful thoughts about her of his own accord. Lawyer senses kicked in, ipso facto, quod erat demonstrandum, abra cadabra: witchcraft.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago

I think you're on to something, raging badgerfuck does sound like it'd be on the list of marriage-enders.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 day ago

Little did Gary know, they were after his law license. Not his marriage.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 day ago

The lesbian witch cabal can't stop winning

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Sounds like she's a pretty powerful witch if she ruined his marriage and his career.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I don't want to take anything away from the witch cabals, but guys like these have a tendency to light themselves on fire, the problem is usually when they bring down their family along with them.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

i would say that, if black magic exists at all, it's predominantly about causing guys like this to burn themselves down quickly and cleanly

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I wanna party with a lesbian witch cabal.

One of them would be really good at fixing cars and machines, one of them would be real into gardening, one of them would be very bookish.

They could borrow my wife anytime for use in their evil sex magic. We'd get up to hijinks and shit.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

OK that does sound like a fair portion of the lesbian polycules I've known lol

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago

And kids, if you work really hard on your studies of lesbian polycules, you can become a Captain too!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

He's got more hair, but my face would have that same expression if it was me.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Hmm interesting that people who make conspiracies about LGBTQ+ people are usually ones doing some scams or something worse hmm interesting, I wonder why?

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

You're gonna get a kick out of the oh-so-very-ironic overlaps between reich winger conventions and massive spikes in Grindr traffic in said areas during such. Whatever could it mean?!

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It means that I have more low quality prospects to sort through to find a decent lay. The Republican Butt Monsters are quite easy to spot but it still takes effort I would rather spend relating to healthy human beings.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

What? You don't wanna maybe win sudden nation-wide fame for leaked pics of your talented involvement in any number of Drumpf lickers' petit-mort cognitive disconnect en flagrante? Whatever for?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Every accusation is an admission, as always

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Gary is a cabal of gay witches confirmed.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 day ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 day ago

Director of Cybersecurity @EFF / Co-founder of @stopstalkerware

That's a very powerful witch.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 day ago

Too bad there are probably still supreme court justice and almost certainly high level DOJ employees who would like to burn lots of us at stakes, but, hey, one down

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 days ago (4 children)

God I wish I had the context though

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Next time I visit my favorite adult video site, I am definitely searching for lesbian witch cabal.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

Also a great stoner rock band name.

Check out their split EP with the Mammoth Bong Druids of Weed Wizard Mountain!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I would like to point out that Thanos made some guy's life miserable just because. So a cabal of lesbian witches looking to destroy someone's marriage is just as much possible. And I say this with the consideration that both are fictional and thus not bound by the rules of reality.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›