The sad thing is I can see this getting made.
this post was submitted on 24 Apr 2025
882 points (98.7% liked)
Greentext
6190 readers
992 users here now
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
I hate that I can visualize this greentext so easily.
The fact that they show a Dark Souls poster and proceed to describe an Elden ring movie is very funny. Like the producers don't know the difference.
they'd be proud of the fact that they never played video games, let alone the source material.
look at interviews surrounding halo paramount, "we want to tell our own story in this setting" then proceeds to make garbage that actively disrespects the source.
“We didn’t look at the game. We didn’t talk about the game. We talked about the characters and the world. So I never felt limited by it being a game.”
The quote is amazing.
that's an even better quote than the one I remembered
"Ah sweet, a new Miyazaki film!"
Wrong Miyazaki! Go back!
*gets bogged down in poison swamp*
load more comments
(4 replies)
I absolutely hate this, but can't deny that it's accurate
Tbh, i'd love a dark souls movie with Jack Black and Nick Cage.
Jack Black as Solaire would work. I can see the jolly cooperation now
And a shaven Adam Sandler as patches. This would truly be an awful film. I’d see it. Not in theaters, certainly. Not even my own streaming subscription. But eventually I’ll be on someone’s couch and exactly drunk enough to dare them to put it on.
This is how I ended up seeing Sonic 3.
Did I enjoy Jim Carrey? Yes, very much so.
Do I want to go back and see Sonic 2, which I completely missed? No.
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(2 replies)
That was unfortunately a Jack Black of a different era. This one abandons his lifelong friend to be as hollywood safe as possible for saying meanie-bobeanie things about trump (as a comedian on a stage that is known for political jokes)
Yup. Most that you can fault it for, is the mechanics later in the game, which try to teach you how to play multiplayer, getting too repetetive.
Because of course the game had PvP battling with music stages as bases.
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
Movie is called Dark Souls, plot is Elden Ring. Hollywood on par for the course.
load more comments
(1 replies)
"they ruined it! There aren't even bonfires in elden ring! In lore theyre called this-games-thing!"
Was the minecraft movie ai generated
Based af
Final shot is Jack Black clumsily wading through a poison swamp, “not again!”
The swamp itself farts with every green bubble that boils and pops on the surface.
Just a matter of time until this trailer gets made. I remember the Oppenheimer one and now that we've got the AI trailers, you don't even need an actual movie to use as source material this time.
load more comments
(3 replies)
Well, I know people would watch it.
I did not watch the Minecraft movie myself, no desire to experience a full theater of people throwing popcorn around screaming chicken jockey.
Movie industry is fucked.
i enjoyed the Minecraft movie. i wouldn't say it was great, but i was watching it with my nephews and had fun. it helped that mamoa and black were clearly having fun doing it and had good chemistry together. (i even play the song "lava chicken" for fun hehe)
load more comments
(13 replies)
"Praise the sun!" Start trashing the cinema and blasting take on me full volume
Sweet baby Jesus I can see this whole thing in my head every time I read it, these previews are so cookie cutter it's insane
I wish “The Studio” was ballsy enough to do an episode about this exactly.
view more: next ›