this post was submitted on 15 Apr 2025
266 points (97.2% liked)

Funny

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 week ago

"Immortality comes at a terrible price. You think you know what dick chafing feels like. I haven't had skin on my shaft for the last two centuries."

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

That's a shock. And although changing my behavior won't be easy, I am DETERMINED to avoid anything that might make me live longer.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Just 3263? Pfft amateur, those are ROOKIE numbers

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

Fuck. I'm only at three a day....

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

this is beetle. he's as bad as can and he knows he's the best.

he's big, and he's strong, and he knows he's badder, and he knows what he gets. he knows what he knows, and he knows what he has, and he knows what he gets, he gets better. he's a tough guy, and he knows, he knows the best, I guess.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

Just hanging round....

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

Twice a day and you start aging backwards.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

Just for clarification: does it mean masturbating more than once a week increases life expectancy or masturbating less than three times increases life expectancy? The way it is written now could easily be misinterpreted, I’m unsure I’m doing the right thing.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

Do it, just to be safe :p

[–] VicksVaporBBQrub 2 points 1 week ago

10 percent per throw, calculating.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

*sighs* If I must...